


Ready But Wrong

by SheppyTheHam



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Adora and Catra need to make up!, Angst, Awkward Tension, Blood, Blood and Injury, Canon Divergence, Catra needs Jesus, Chapter 12 is kinda violent, Childhood Trauma, Conflict, Drama, Evil She-Ra, Explicit Language, Gen, Internal Conflict, Kyle (She-Ra) joins the rebellion, Memory Alteration, Memory Magic, Not sure if I want to include romance yet, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Plot gets messed up, Shadow Weaver is a great parent, She-Ra kills people, Some Humor, Swift Wind is literally a communist, Tension, Violence, catra leaves the horde
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-10-19 14:23:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 75,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheppyTheHam/pseuds/SheppyTheHam
Summary: "Retreat!" one soldier cried and the others began following him.She-Ra didn't stop. She chased them.To Glimmer, the scariest thing about it was that her face was still completely devoid of emotion. She was reptilian; nothing would scare her and nothing would stop her from capturing her prey. She-Ra wasn't even in a rush — her walking pace was still enough to catch up with one of the soldiers running at the back of the group, and she raised her sword.*(Or, to be more brief, She-Ra is uncontrollable and violent.)





	1. I'm ready but I'm wrong, and I'm blind to it all

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a fanfic for this fandom so sorry if it kinda sucks. I wanted to focus more on the conflict between Adora's two states cause I felt like it wasn't really given much attention in the show. Also, (in my humble opinion) Adora changed sides too easily and the Horde wasn't as evil as it could have been. I don't know how well this'll turn out. Guess that's for anyone reading to decide. I hope you enjoy reading this tho!

It felt strange when she transformed into She-ra. That first moment, a flash and a heavy weight bearing down on her very soul. Adora didn't know what she was seeing but felt everything. Every sound of the animals — insects buzzing in the bushes, birds singing and flapping their wings from what felt like miles away, carried by the wind. The most notable sounds came from Bow and Glimmer, their hearts beating rapidly. It was as if she could feel every presence near her without even looking. Oh yeah, and she couldn't ignore the giant bug that had tried to kill them.

 Adora couldn't come up with anything smart-sounding in her head to describe the feeling. Confused and somewhat disappointed in her lack of poetic language, she admitted in her mind that being She-Ra felt like being a punching bag — not in a way that meant she was being punched all the time. A punching bag was the closest thing she could compare her— no, She-Ra's body to. She-Ra had a punching bag body; punching bag arms and legs. Large and strong, but also heavy and slow. Adora, at first, felt uncoordinated and smothered, astonished that the hand that wasn't hers could still grip the sword.

Immediately after that she tripped — either from shock or the lack of practice with significantly larger limbs; she didn't know — and became herself once again. Adora took in a few deep breaths, a pounding in her head that she hadn't even realised was there fading away. She was in control again.

Glimmer, the Princess who had captured her, confiscated the sword after a mini tug of war session with Bow, her "friend", as the referee, eying Adora as if she was a contagious disease that needed to be cured. Thankfully she stopped because she and Bow hid from the gargantuan spider monster, which had recovered from its mild state of shock upon seeing She-Ra.

Oh yeah. That thing. Adora had completely forgotten about it for a few minutes. A silly mistake like that could cause her death on a battlefield, and it'd been years since she'd done so. What would Shadow Weaver say if she saw Adora standing with that lost look on her face? She would be disappointed and Adora would burn with shame.

Still, what would Shadow Weaver do to Catra if _she_ made a mistake like that? She would probably be really—

Catra. Adora needed to get back to her after she found out more about the sword.

"Do it again!" Bow shrieked, snapping Adora out of her thoughts, suddenly out of his hiding place with the sword in his hand.

"I don't know how!" Adora replied, taking the sword and staring hard at it. She was lost. Stupid. That could get her killed, too. Did that transformation melt her brain or something?

Shit. Was Adora going to become just like one of _them?_  A dumb, sparkly Princess? She shook her head in an attempt to wake up her dazed mind as if it would rid her of the sparkles slowly oozing and  _sparkling_  along her insides.

"Just run!" Glimmer yelled, dashing past them with surprising speed. The other two followed but Adora quickly overtook them, stopping as the ground came to an end, leaving a moderate drop in front of her. Unfortunately, Glimmer and Bow couldn't stop running in time and pushed each other, and her, off the edge.

Adora was crushed by the pair. Groaning, Glimmer picked up the sword that had slipped from Adora's grasp as they unsteadily rose. Thankfully, the spider had been crushed by boulders but unfortunately it was still alive and was rapidly crawling free.

The trio ran to a door with strange writing on it. While Bow and Glimmer had a quick argument on what to do, the spider crawled closer and closer to them. "Eternia," muttered Adora, reading out a word, and the door split open.

"What the—" Bow began but Glimmer dragged him in, Adora following. Poor Spidey was left outside.

Everyone let out a collective sigh, forgetting about their distrust for a moment as Glimmer produced a light from her palm. Then it came back.

"So, Horde soldier. How did you read the First Ones' writing?" Bow calmly asked with a hint of suspicion, as if he was a parent questioning his child on why they had come home so late when he already knew the answer.

"What do you mean? Are you Princesses illiterate or something?" Adora snapped, her eyes flicking to Glimmer at the last part.

Glimmer glared back at her but kept her voice level like she was talking to a child. "No. That word you just read is from a language that hasn't been spoken for over a thousand years. Now tell me. How did you read it?" She got closer to Adora in an attempt to intimidate her.

"I don't know, okay! You think I wanted this to happen? You think I wanted to be—" Adora almost choked on those next words, "a _Princess_?" She rose and took a step forward, their difference in height making Glimmer recoil slightly, her other hand moving to the sword. Good. "Princesses are all monsters," she growled, daring Glimmer to look away from her eyes.

"You're the monsters!" Glimmer suddenly shouted, leaning forward as if she was getting ready to attack.

Bow stepped between the two. "Woah, you guys need to chill!" he warned. "Glimmer, she saved us, don't you think—"

"I don't _care_! Do you know what the Horde has done? How many people they've massacred? How many villages they've burned to the ground? You said Hordak's doing what's best for Etheria, but tell me— tell me how it's helping anyone!" Glimmer exclaimed, her facade crumbling as tears sprang to her eyes.

Adora almost felt guilty. Almost. But steeled herself. Of course rebelling wasn't helping anyone. The Horde was bringing order to Etheria and stopping those Princesses ruling over everyone like tyrants. Etheria needed one ruler only. One ruler who could restore order and peace: Hordak. How could the Princesses be against that if Glimmer said they weren't evil? If they didn't want all those deaths to happen then they shouldn't have started that rebellion.

"I didn't save you. I was trying to get the sword," Adora said to Bow.

Glimmer wiped her eyes. "Whatever. Let's just take her to my mum. She'll know what to do," she muttered, talking as if Adora wasn't standing right in front of her.

*

After a creepy hologram lady, who Adora assumed was some other version of Light Hope, went psycho on them and self-destructed, Glimmer, refusing to give Adora the sword, decided to teleport all three of them out of the temple. Then they almost fell to their deaths and were saved by Bow's arrow. Glimmer then tried to hide the fact that she had exhausted all her power and needed to "recharge." Obviously, Bow being Bow, noticed that and exposed it to every living being in the forest, including the Horde soldier.

Adora honestly didn't think it was a big deal.  _Recharging_. Was that a thing Princesses did? It made them sound like robots. If Adora was ten again she would have added that theory next to the other ones stored far away in her head with all the other now insignificant memories. The Princesses were lizards, extra terrestrial beings, demons and all that lot.

Adora looked back on times when she and Catra would giggle about their far fetched conspiracies. Still, none of those were as bad as real life. The Princesses weren't horrid looking creatures. There was nothing visibly " _wrong"_ with them. They were bright and beautiful on the outside, but cruel and manipulative inside.

She remembered stories the older and experienced soldiers of the Horde told the cadets. Fights they'd had with the Princesses, their soldiers and the rest of the rebellion's forces. Mystical, dark magic. Ruthless grins. Laughing like it was all a game. Horde soldiers mercilessly slaughtered, disfigured or haunted for the rest of their days.

Another time she remembered was one of Shadow Weaver's frequent lectures.

A training exercise. When a young Adora saw the holographic person hurt on the floor, her first instinct was to help. Immediately after her hand passed through their shoulder everything turned red and the holographic face flashed a wicked smile, and the next thing Adora knew was that she was on her back. The other evil holograms disappeared.

Strange. Usually training would continue for longer.

"Wow. She seriously messed up," a voice, probably Lonnie's, commented from a metre away.

"Yeah," Catra added, Adora recognising her voice right away. She didn't really have to, since Catra was leaning directly over her and blocking everything else out, but she was barely registering anything she was seeing.

She died. She'd been killed by a princess. The red "X" on her armour felt as if it was burning, branding itself into her skin. She failed. She was a failure. Adora sat up, her heart thudding inside her like heavy footsteps.

Shadow Weaver entered the room, her presence immediately chilling the cadets from the inside.

"It— It wasn't me!" Kyle blurted out.

"Yeah, for once," Catra muttered, ears twitching as she turned her head to face him, though Adora didn't know what look she was giving Kyle. Judging by his face after, though, it wasn't a kind one.

Adora scrambled to her feet. "I'm so sorry!" she cried, standing with her back straight, arms at her sides. "It was a mistake! I won't do it again—" 

"Everyone else may leave," Shadow Weaver said, though it sounded like an order.

While the other cadets started to trudge away, Catra hesitated. For some odd reason, she looked scared. Why? She hadn't even done anything wrong this time. Adora was the failure, not her.

Shadow Weaver's disguised gaze still radiated enough frost to frighten Catra away and the two were finally alone.

Why was Adora shaking? Shadow Weaver had never yelled at her or insulted her like she did with Catra, so why was there such a growing sense of terror bubbling inside her, ready to overflow, as if she was a wounded animal staring into the eyes of a predator? She didn't know. She felt a sudden pain in her head and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, before forcing them open.

"It's all right, child," Shadow Weaver assured her, tucking a stray strand of Adora's hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek. Shadow Weaver's deep voice seemed to be caressing her entire body, but she shook the feeling away.

_I can't move._

"You're not mad?"

"I knew one of you would try to help that defenseless Princess. That's why we put her there."

Shadow Weaver _wanted_ her to fail that exercise? Why?

"I wanted to teach you all, especially you, Adora, a lesson," the woman said as if reading her mind.

A lesson. Those words didn't ease her panic.

"What's the lesson?" Adora asked after a few moments of silence.

Shadow Weaver leaned down to be able to make direct eye contact. Her eyes almost looked completely black when Adora stared through the eye holes. She suppressed a shiver.

_I can't look away._

_"_ Never trust a Princess. No matter what. No matter how nice or sad or hurt she is; never let your guard down. A Princess will always betray you in the end. End them before they end you."

The red gem on Shadow Weaver's mask seemed to glow. Dark. Why was it getting darker? She wanted to get out. Run away. Something felt familiar.

 "Adora!" Bow yelled, clicking his fingers in front of her face and jolting her out of the past.

"Huh?"

"Why are you still here?" Glimmer asked her.

"Aren't I your prisoner?" Adora questioned back.

Glimmer snorted. "Bow and I are hardly royal guards. You could've ran away."

"Glimmer. She stood there for like, five whole minutes. I don't think she can run anywhere," Bow whispered to her.

"I could," Adora retaliated.

"Then why didn't you?" 

Adora thought for a moment. She didn't know anything about her past other than the fact that she didn't know anything about it. She wouldn't lose anything from explaining that. "I don't know who I am. I mean, who I _was_. Who my parents were. This all feels familiar," she sighed. "I have to find out."

"Glimmer's mum knows all about that First Ones stuff. If you want, we could ask her," Bow spoke up after an awkward period of silence.

"Who?" Adora asked.

"The Queen of Bright Moon."

Adora tensed up for a moment, but once she realised there was no danger she relaxed slightly. "The dictator and leader of the rebellion," she mumbled. "She would execute me if she ever saw me."

"Wow. You've never actually met a Princess before today, have you? Do I look like the type of person to support a dictator?" Bow asked and Adora looked him up and down. "Glimmer's mum isn't some monster. You saved us, so it won't hurt her to listen. We could try, you know? Just stick with us," Bow said, holding out his hand.

Adora stared at it. Bow wasn't a Princess, right? Was it okay to trust him or was he actually trying to trick her? If he was friends with Glimmer, a Princess, then he was probably untrustworthy, Adora concluded. Bow sadly retracted his hand after realising Adora wasn't going to take it.

Glimmer walked past them. "Come on. We've wasted enough time. We have to go back to Bright Moon," she said, not looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, sorry for that the titles are so terrible. If there's anything you liked or thought could be handled better lemme know cause I'm not exactly sure where to go with this.
> 
> Person: do you take criticism  
> Me, already drowning in tears: yeah,,, bro


	2. Can you trust yourself?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora meets a horse, the Horde attacks and Catra and Adora have a calm debate.

"This is such a waste of time," sighed Glimmer, folding her arms and leaning on one of the small houses in the village.

Bow nudged her softly. "Relax, Glim. It's not like we're under attack right now; there's no rush," he persuaded. Her only response was a groan as she slid to the floor.

"Fine. One more hour," she muttered, shutting her eyes. They snapped back open as a sudden realisation hit her. "Where's the Horde soldier?" she hissed.

"Huh? Oh, you mean Adora?" Bow questioned. "Yeah... to be honest, I forgot to keep an eye on her." 

Glimmer groaned even louder. "Fuck!" She stood up and began searching.

"Glimmer, I'm telling your mum when we get back! There are children here!" Bow hollered, beginning to run, shoes softly thudding on the grass.

After around fifteen minutes of searching, Glimmer found Adora in a small clearing talking to a bunch of local village children.  _Probably filling their impressionable minds with Horde propaganda,_  she thought.

"And then I punched that robot right in the face!" Adora spoke as if she was narrating a story, making punching motions with her arms. "It didn't actually have a face, but— Hey!" She was interrupted by Glimmer tugging the blue cape she had given Adora to hide the Horde symbol on her back.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just talking. Or is that too violent for you?" Adora replied, trying to freeze Glimmer with her eyes, and the shorter girl did the same. Sensing that the story had ended, the village children began to disperse.

Bow arrived, panting and sweating, leaning over with his palms on his knees. "Thank goodness! You're safe!" he cried, wheezing every few seconds. Glimmer clearly didn't agree with that, but stayed silent. "We've gotta go soon, so let's make the most of this party," he advised, nodding at Adora.

"Yeah, you're ri— What the hell is  _that_?" Adora gasped, her voice suddenly rising an octave, pointing at something. Bow and Glimmer's eyes followed. Standing before them was a majestic beast with elegant legs and a flowing mane. It snuffled the grass and then blinked at them with large, brown eyes that shined like melted chocolate, long eyelashes fluttering each time.

"A horse. It's called a horse," Glimmer stated blankly, trying to hide that she was amused by Adora's, well,  _adorable_  expression. "You're so ignorant," she couldn't help mumbling. Adora didn't reply. Either she didn't hear or didn't care.

"How is it prettier than all of us combined?" Bow complained.

Adora hesitantly held her hand out towards the horse, contemplating on whether or not she should touch it.  _Is this horse a Princess? Is it a spy? What if it bites me?_ she thought, a thick cloud of worry floating in her head. Bow noticed her reluctance and took her hand, moving it to the horse's muzzle. It shut its eyes, content.

"Horsey," Adora whispered in awe.

And then the ground began to rumble. Smoke slowly but steadily rose into the air and screams echoed all the way to where the trio was standing. "Shit!" Glimmer spat. They all started to run to the most crowded part of the village because Glimmer was still too tired to teleport more than one person.

After many agonising minutes they arrived at their destination. The village was in chaos. Fires had spread, burning huts, stalls selling things from small trinkets to food, and the plants growing in the area. Horde tanks could be seen from the distance, shooting at the village over and over again, getting closer and closer, and the skiffs were already buzzing around, Horde soldiers throwing objects into the fires and pouring gasoline all over the place. Soon the tanks would be there too, running over the villagers and continuing to chug along like they'd only crushed an insect colony.

Glimmer quickly pulled Adora and Bow into a hut that wasn't completely destroyed yet. "Why is this happening?" Bow asked. "The people of Thaymor haven't even done anything!"

Adora's head snapped up. "Wait, this is Thaymor?" she gasped. "It can't be."

"Did you know this was going to happen?" Glimmer snarled.

"No. I mean, yes, but this is all a mistake. Thaymor is supposed to be full of active rebels, not civilian goat people! Even so, all the Horde wanted to do was take out the rebel leader, not _everybody_!" Adora explained. Before Glimmer could reply an explosion rocked them all to the ground and left a ringing in their ears, though that wasn't enough to conceal a despaired scream.

Glimmer stumbled out of the hut into a storm of smoke. She coughed and tried to blink away tears from her burning eyes. "Bow!" she called out.

"I'm here!" he said, emerging from the collapsing structure and wrapping an arm around her. His face was scratched up, but he seemed relatively unharmed. "Where's Adora?"

Just as he asked that, Adora crawled out, blood dripping down the side of her face. Glimmer's cape was burnt at the edges, turning a dark shade of brown, and she tore it off, revealing her white top, which had also suffered some damage.

Bow and Glimmer followed her to a charred, collapsed hut, that was hit by a tank shooting at it where an injured woman was sobbing. "My son! My son is under there!" she screamed in anguish. She had a couple of burns on her body.

But Adora couldn't just stand there and watch. As she was about to move, Shadow Weaver's words echoed in her head.

_Never trust a princess._

_Don't listen,_ she tried to argue back.  _There's_   _no Princess there._ _There's a child. A child can't harm you._

_Anyone against the Horde must be purged. Let them burn._

_That child didn't know any better._

Still holding Glimmer's cape in her hand, Adora draped it over a crumbled piece of the hut, smoke beginning to rise from it, before grabbing the covered edge and lifting. It hurt. It was still so hot, even with the cape between Adora and the wood. Gritting her teeth and tasting blood, she chucked the piece of wood away as smoke-induced tears dripped out of her eyes. For what felt like an eternity, she repeated this until she saw a small face peeping out from a gap in the rubble and began to dig. Finally, she was able to dislodge the child and dropped him to the ground.

Her hands were burning. At the time she was so preoccupied with finding the boy that she didn't have the time to feel it properly, but now the burn was back with waves of vengeance. Her tears weren't caused only by the smoke anymore.

The mother shook her son softly, but nothing seemed to happen and her shakes became faster and more violent. His green eyes were glazed over, slightly open, and wherever his skin was visible there burns, some more serious than others, though he probably died because he didn't have enough oxygen. His mother leaned down and put an ear to his chest for a minute, then picked him up and clutched him close, howling with no restraint, her tears looking like they would never stop falling.

And Adora would never forget the sound of her voice.

"I can stop this," she said to Bow and Glimmer, who had been guiding villagers to a safer place, her voice hoarse from breathing in so much smoke. "Before others die. This is a mistake. The Horde will listen to me." She ran to the sound of machinery and disappeared in a cloud of thick, dark smoke.

"Adora!" Bow yelled, his blurry vision also making it hard to see things. Damn it.

Adora didn't know how long she ran for; with her burning hands, eyes and throat it could have been just thirty seconds, even though it felt like thirty minutes. Along the way she saw people on the floor. Some were lying in puddles of blood. Adora couldn't check if they were alive. That would waste time and let more people who were still alive die. She averted her gaze and kept running, lungs burning. A tank drove past and she stood still, raising her arm into the air. It stopped only centimetres away from her face.

The hatch at the top popped open and out jumped Catra, who pounced on Adora, pushing her to the ground. "They let me drive a tank!" Catra started but took notice of Adora's wounds. "Holy shit! You look like you died and came back to life!" she commented, but tensed when Adora sat up and wrapped her arms around for a brief moment. "Are you okay? Who did this to you?" Catra asked quietly, more seriously this time, glancing at the dried blood on Adora's face.

"I'm fine," Adora lied. "I made a dumb mistake." Catra stood and helped Adora up, too. "Catra," she spoke, her voice almost a whisper. The aforementioned girl stared at her. "You have to stop this."

"What? Why?"

"These people you're attacking are just innocent civilians. They can't even fight back!"

"They still kidnapped you. Now come on, we'll patch you up at the Fright Zone," Catra said, pulling Adora to the tank. "You know, Shadow Weaver is fucking  _pissed_! She's going crazy without you!" Catra began to chuckle as if there wasn't a fire eating away at the village while the Horde soldiers literally fuelled the flames. "Ah, it'd be funny if she wasn't such a bitch."

 "Catra, no. I can't come back. Not until the Horde leaves this place alone," Adora spoke up.

"What are you saying?" Catra asked and stopped walking, genuinely confused

"I'm saying this is wrong! It's sick! We were lied to and manipulated! By Hordak, Shadow Weaver, everyone!"

For a moment Catra only stared at her with her mismatched eyes, until she scoffed, "No shit! Shadow Weaver's been mind-fucking us since we were kids! You've only just realised? Yeah, right. You always knew."

"I don't know what you're talking about! And how could you possibly be okay with that?" Adora asked.

Catra smirked ruefully. Then she shook her head, not saying anything.

Adora took a step back. When she spoke, her voice was shaky, but filled with underlying sorrow that she was barely able to contain. "I'm not going back to the Horde, Catra," she persisted. "I saw— I saw people die. A child, too. I'm not going to work for a bunch of terrorists who kill children and innocent people." Adora grabbed Catra's hand, even though it hurt her own so much. "And I know you wouldn't want that either. Come with me."

"Is this some sort of joke?" Catra snarled. "You've known these people for like, a couple of hours, and you're leaving your whole life behind? For Princesses? You're one of them now? "

"No!" Adora snapped. "I'd rather die than be a princess. I'm leaving because it's the right thing to do!" She took a deep breath and turned around, facing away from Catra, unable to look at her. Adora wanted to be with her. She really did, but she also wanted to do what was right. "I'm sorry."

Then, for some reason, Shadow Weaver's voice was in her head again, one of her many "battle tips" warning her.

_Never turn your back on the enemy. Face them._

Except it wasn't an enemy. It was Catra.

Adora turned back around anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap did this take a long time. I hope you liked the thicc drama.


	3. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora fight over a taser and She-Ra makes a stunning debut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 2AM and I died writing this. Enjoy some more thicc drama.

Adora turned to see Catra, her hand clutching a taser, which was pointing at where Adora's back was a second ago. Had she stayed with her back turned for one second more it would have zapped her. Taking a chance, Adora lunged forward, slapping the taser from Catra's hand and tightly grabbing her wrist, trying to ignore the millions of spikes of pain stabbing into her palm.

"What the fuck?" Catra growled, trying to pull away. It was no use. One of Adora's only advantages over Catra was her strength, but she would usually let Catra squirm out of her grip. This time, though, Adora was serious. Catra wasn't going anywhere. "What are you doing?"

"What were _you_ doing?" Adora asked, pulling Catra close to her. "You were going to tase me!"

"No shit! You need to snap out of this identity crisis, so I decided to zap it outta you!" replied Catra, shoving the girl with her free hand. "Now let go of me and we can go home."

" _No_."

Catra's eyes widened, shocked for a moment, before a mirthless chuckle came from her. "Wow. I thought you were just acting up, but you really _don't_ want to come back, do you? Did ya get bored of me of watching me suffer? Are your new friends _better_?" she hissed.

"Catra, it's not like that! What are you even talking about? They're not my friends. I told you—"

"We've both known what the Horde was really like for _years_! Stop making excuses!"

Each one of Catra's words pierced into her heart, but Adora took a deep breath in, not that there was much oxygen in the air, and gritted her teeth. "I've told you the truth. I didn't realise how bad the Horde was until today," she spoke icily. For a few moments, there was silence between them as fire crackled and machines grumbled. There were no more screams. The civilians that hadn't died had probably run away.

Catra stopped resisting and stared at the ground. "I always knew you were a bit fucked up in the head," she muttered, "but... you're seriously going this far?" she asked. "You're insane." Adora loosened her grip, hearing the sorrow in Catra's voice. That was enough for her. She slipped out of Adora's grasp and ran for the taser, almost grabbing it, when Adora tackled her to the ground, pinning both her arms down.

"Why are you doing this?!" she asked.

"Are you brain damaged? Because you left me!" Catra confessed, her voice cracking halfway through the sentence. She shut her eyes and turned her head to the side, ears flattening against her head. "For fuck's sake, Adora! Tell me that the princesses brainwashed you. Tell me you don't want this. I don't even care that you hate me, just... Please."

Adora was silent. Finally, she said, "I don't hate you. But how could you think this is right? A child... a child was _dead_ in his mother's arms! People were lying in their own blood! Don't you think that's wrong?"

Catra kept her eyes shut. Of course it was fucking wrong. It was inhumane. But Adora had completely ignored what she had said. Catra had nothing except the Horde. The Horde, despite Shadow Weaver's constant, degrading insults and violent attacks on her, was paradoxically safe. People might grow to accept Adora one day if she defected, but nobody would trust Catra. Catra, as Shadow Weaver put it, was "a hybrid abomination of beast and human" who should be glad that Shadow Weaver didn't drown her as a baby, and if Catra's own parents didn't even love her enough to keep her, who would? She was an unwanted freak to almost everyone. Everyone except Shadow Weaver and Adora. Shadow Weaver might have wanted to hurt Catra, but, in her own twisted way, she still wanted her, otherwise she would have killed Catra ages ago. Adora, however, was _leaving._ Why? Did she get bored of watching Shadow Weaver hurt her all those years? If so, Adora was not admitting it.

Like always.

 _Sorry, Adora_ , she thought, using her legs to push herself up and sink her teeth into Adora's shoulder, who cried out in agony and let go of Catra, placing a hand where a patch of crimson was slowly spreading across her white top. The wound left a sharp, intense ache and Adora bit her lip to stop any more sound from escaping. Catra stood up and took a few steps back, when she heard the sound of hooves clacking on the ground.

Then a bright ball of light hit her in the face and she shrieked, pawing at her eyes. It was Horsey, with Glimmer and Bow on his back. Glimmer, projecting light out of her hand, jumped off and ran to Adora while Bow shot an arrow at Catra before she could recover. A net popped out of the arrow and she was ensnared, though she managed to poke her arm through the gap and grab the fallen taser, shooting electricity at Glimmer.

"Get away from her!" Catra roared, but Glimmer teleported herself and Adora away. Catra tore herself out the net and jumped on Bow, knocking him off the horse.

Adora and Glimmer appeared in a more quiet area, leaning against the side of a large boulder. Glimmer tried to stand but failed. Black, fuzzy dots swam in her eyes. She felt as if she'd been hung upside down for a while, leaving her head pounding.

"What are you _doing_? Why did you save me?" Adora asked while her hands hovered near Glimmer as if she didn't know what to do with them.

"As much as I hate to admit this... we need you. We need... We need She-Ra if we want to stop this," Glimmer replied sluggishly, her eyes drooping as if even blinking was too much effort.

Adora frowned. She didn't like being She-Ra. In fact, she could say she almost hated it, but whoever was in charge of the universe seemed to be throwing deadly situations that required She-Ra at Adora. Looking back on the time she transformed, she felt like she couldn't remember anything except not being in control. Like she was viewing everything from a third person perspective. She-Ra's sense of touch was so terrible that Adora couldn't tell whether she wasn't gripping the sword tightly enough, or if she was clenching her hand around it so hard that her knuckles became white. Her punching bag limbs seemed too heavy for her to move. It wasn't her body anymore.

Maybe Adora would improve at being She-Ra one day, but she didn't want to be. Not when she felt like she didn't know who she was anymore. And she certainly didn't want to be a Princess. Just because the Horde turned out to be bad that wouldn't suddenly make the Princesses better, would it?

On the other hand, she had to stop the Horde. They wouldn't stop until they got Adora back or destroyed the village completely, and she was in absolutely no condition to fight by herself. Shit, shit, shit.

Glimmer was fumbling with the sword tied to her back and Adora reluctantly helped her untie it. It was heavy and put a strain on her exhausted arms. She was about to say something when one of those round Horde robots clunked itself into the vicinity.

Glaring, Adora stood up, holding the sword with both hands. With her uninjured arm she raised it into the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!" she declared, changing form right before Glimmer's eyes. In the place where Adora was standing stood a glowing giant.

Using barely any strength, She-Ra swung her sword, slicing the robot clean in half. With bright eyes that showed no recognition of Glimmer, She-Ra stared at her for a moment before striding away.

Meanwhile, Bow and Catra were still tussling on the rocky floor. Bow was out of arrows and was using his bow to keep the girl away from him but she was managing to get closer. He hit her stomach with his knee and threw her to the ground, then they both scrambled to their feet. Bow ran away and saw Horsey before patting him on the neck, watching in terror as Horde robots, skiffs and tanks began to surround them.

"I know I probably shouldn't say this word in front of you, Horsey, but we're screwed," Bow whispered.

Horde soldiers stepped out of their vehicles and started to close in on Bow, but they were all bathed in golden light, blinding them. Horsey, startled by all this, galloped away.

In walked She-Ra, her steps covering such a large distance that it made her look like she was running instead. In only a few seconds, she arrived in the centre of the rocky area and raised her sword, her face blank and empty, containing about as much personality and emotion as the Horde robots, before plunging the blade into the ground with as much ease as if she was poking a needle into jello. The ground broke apart under the Horde soldiers' feet, swallowing up the tanks, and She-Ra leapt into the air, slashing off a piece of a tank that had been aiming at Bow, causing an explosion that caused a chain reaction of explosions in the other vehicles.

One Horde soldier brave enough to face She-Ra rushed towards her, taser in hand, but they barely reached the height of her chest. In response, she kicked them in the stomach, sending them flying into a rock with a nauseating crunch sound, their skull shattering like a vase, sending chunks of metal from the helmet, bones and brains all over the place, splattering the rock with blood.

Glimmer stumbled in, hands on a large rock so she could support herself. Bow saw and rushed towards Glimmer before giving her a hug. "Is that Adora?" he asked after checking that Glimmer was all right, pointing at She-Ra, who had grabbed a robot's leg and sent it flying with only one hand.

"No," Glimmer said with a weak shake of her head, "it's not."

"Retreat!" one soldier cried and the others began following him.

She-Ra didn't stop. She chased them.

To Glimmer, the scariest thing about it was that her face was still completely devoid of emotion. She was reptilian; nothing would scare her and nothing would stop her from capturing her prey. She-Ra wasn't even in a rush — her walking pace was still enough to catch up with one of the soldiers running at the back of the group, and she raised her sword.

Catra stayed hidden in the smoke, trembling with rage. That thing wasn't Adora. That thing wasn't Adora. That thing had taken Adora away from her. Catra wanted her back, even if she was infuriating to talk to.

"Adora! Stop!" Glimmer yelled, her voice raised in horror.

She-Ra froze and the golden glow faded, her arms going limp, making the sword clatter to the stones beneath it. For a moment, she looked human. Then Adora was there on her knees, along with all her injuries prior to her transformation. Slowly, she turned her head to Catra's hiding place, meeting her eyes. "Catra, wait," she pleaded.

Catra unconsciously shook her head as if she was denying something, before turning away and running.

Adora pressed her palms over her eyes in an attempt to block everything out. Someone placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped. It was Bow. He drew his hand back with an apologetic look on his face, and then Adora asked, "What did I do? What happened?"

Glimmer and Bow stayed silent, not sure if they should tell the truth.

"Forget that. What matters is that we're okay," Glimmer explained, shuffling around Adora so she was sitting directly in front of her. Hesitantly, she took Adora's wrists and pulled them away from her face. "Thanks," she muttered, still not used to being nice to her. "You went against the Horde to do what was best. You saved us."

"Saved you?" Adora repeated so quietly that Bow and Glimmer almost didn't hear her. "This is my fault — it's all my fault. I caused this. Maybe if I didn't leave they wouldn't have been so harsh on this place."

Adora blinked and saw the burnt corpse of that child, his half-open green eyes staring accusingly at her. His mother gave her the most hateful look imaginable. Every body she'd seen, every scream she heard — they were all there. She should have been stronger, faster. She could have saved a life. But she didn't. Couldn't. She let them down.

Screams played back in her head, the mother's one most of all once she knew her son was dead. Adora thought she'd be strong enough to handle death after all her training but she couldn't. She didn't think she could ever get used to it. What kind of sick person could?

_Is this Hell?_

No more glares. Just blank, empty stares. Dead.

_How many of them died because of me? I don't want to know._

_I'm in Hell._

Adora used to imagine Hell being in a volcano-like area filled with lava or something, but this was a hundred, a thousand, a million times worse. Hell was your biggest regrets playing in front of you, over and over and over and over and over and over and over—

She dropped on her side, taking fast deep breaths, but nothing seemed to be going into her lungs. She couldn't breathe, she needed air, and she was going to die. "Hey!" a voice, Bow's most likely, yelled, but to Adora it sounded as if her head was swaddled in a thick blanket and Bow had shouted from ten metres away. Colours swirled around in her vision and Adora didn't even know what she was looking at anymore. Then she died.

*

Adora opened her eyes and saw the blanket of the dark blue sky. The floor underneath her was hard and the cool wind made her loose strands of hair fly around in the air. Air. She was breathing? She wasn't dead. Unfortunately. Adora tried to sit using her elbows but her shoulder protested, shooting pain down the length of her arm. She tried to roll onto her good shoulder and get up that way, but Glimmer scolded her.

"Don't," said Glimmer. She called Bow over and the two of them held onto each of Adora's arms before gently pulling her up, despite her protests. She saw a small campfire that Bow and Glimmer had probably started when she was unconscious and shuddered, getting a little further away from it.

Bow noticed her staring at it and grinned, though his heart wasn't really in it. "That took us ages to get right," he said.

"Right," Adora murmured, but blinked in surprise once she saw her arms. Her sleeves had been completely ripped off and had been used to bandage her hands and injured shoulder.

"I don't know if you noticed, but they were blistered pretty badly," Bow stated, referring to her hands. She only nodded in response.

"I'm sorry," Adora sighed. "For freaking out like that."

Glimmer sat down near her and handed her a small pot filled with water. Adora didn't ask where she got the pot from and drank the water. "Don't apologise. You've been through a lot today. We all have," Glimmer said sternly.

Horsey, who had been sitting nearby, munched on an apple, oblivious to all that had happened. Not even that sight could cheer Adora up. Bow handed her an apple but her bandaged hand made it hard for her to hold it properly. She managed to take a bite.

Once they were all ready, the trio stood up, Glimmer holding the sword.

"I can't believe I did that," Adora muttered. "I left the Horde. I've got nothing now."

"Seriously?" Bow asked. "You have _us_!" he exclaimed, scaring all the wildlife except Horsey away. Glimmer anxiously bit her lower lip but nodded.

"Yeah," Glimmer agreed. "We should go home. We can ask my mum to help this place get back to how it was, and we can help you, too," she explained. "If you want, since, you know, you helped us." Glimmer held out her free hand.

Adora stared at it for a moment.

_Glimmer is a princess._

_But she saved you from Catra even though she had no magic left._

_It could be a trick._

_She trusted me to help. I should trust her too._

Adora slowly placed the palm of her bandaged hand on Glimmer's.

She expected Glimmer to be cold or give her an electric shock since it always looked like she was sparkling.

But Glimmer was warm.


	4. Bright Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora suffers some more, Catra gets choke-slammed by Shadow Weaver and She-Ra is still awkward.

They walked nonstop until they arrived on the outskirts of Bright Moon, the sun beginning to rise behind them. Bow was leading, with Glimmer sitting on Horsey and Adora slowly following at the very back. When they first started travelling, Glimmer asked her if she wanted to sit on Horsey, since Adora was more injured than she was, but Adora refused. She already looked weak after all that pathetic crying. When was the last time she did that? Adora couldn't risk making herself look more vulnerable by needing to be aided by a horse. Even if she did like Horsey. Back in the Horde, if she was injured, she'd have to suck it up and keep going.

 _But I'm not in the Horde anymore,_ thought Adora, wondering if she'd made a mistake by leaving everything she'd known, but then feeling a stab of guilt and self-loathing. Yes and no. She was glad she'd stopped working for the Horde, seeing as Hordak was pretty much running a terrorist organisation, but it was Adora's fault that they'd attacked Thaymor in the first place. Adora contemplated this for the entire journey, each argument playing on a loop in her head until they became paradoxical and she just focused on not tripping in the darkness.

The pain in her body had dulled, but was persistent, lazily burning and stinging and aching in the back of her mind. The gash she had on her head from when that hut almost crushed them all had formed a scab. Thankfully, it didn't seem deep, unlike the bite Catra had inflicted on her shoulder. Adora didn't think she could use that arm properly — not that she would tell Glimmer and Bow if that was the case. She could deal with it by herself.

"Well, here we are," said Glimmer. "Welcome to Bright Moon."

"It's pretty," Adora commented with little enthusiasm. What a dumb sounding name. Why did all things named by princesses sound so stupid? Glimmer and now Bright Moon?

"I just need to go in, recharge and deal with my mum," Glimmer sighed, Horsey beginning to walk past Bow and Adora. "Bow, you take her through the back way," she added with a more serious tone of voice despite being sleep deprived.

Bow nodded reluctantly.

Fifteen minutes later, Bow and Adora climbed into a room through a window which was high up on one of the tall castle-like structures. Adora's hands and injured shoulder were practically screaming at her to stop while she was holding onto the rope they were using, and she struggled to hold a whimper in. As Bow stumbled around the room, looking for something, she hurriedly wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. Bow chucked a robe at her.

"You should wear this," he said. Adora didn't have the energy to object and slipped the robe over her head. At least it mostly hid her ruined top.

Meanwhile, Glimmer and Horsey arrived at the entrance of the castle and Glimmer internally screamed when she saw her mother, Queen Angella, standing in front of the steps. She slipped off Horsey's back and one of the guards took him away.

"Glimmer!" Queen Angella yelled, rushing towards her. "Where have you been?"

"Um—" said Glimmer, looking at the floor.

"All of Bright Moon has been worried sick! You could have died!"

Glimmer stated, "One; that's a lie, and two; it's bold of you to assume I can—" Suddenly she saw two blurry, identical versions of her mother. Then her eyelids, too heavy for her to keep open, closed.

She only blacked out for a few seconds, but when she opened her eyes she saw her mother's concerned face above her blocking out the sunlight. Why was it windy? Oh. Queen Angella was using her wings to fly and carry Glimmer somewhere. Where? It was on the tip of her tongue but she was too tired to think. Her eyes closed again.

Glimmer woke up on a small, raised platform, her mother sitting beside her. She sat up and dangled her legs off the edge without feeling depleted of her magic.

"Are you alright?" Queen Angella asked, noticing that Glimmer's clothes were dirty and her cape was missing.

"Yeah," Glimmer muttered, clicking her fingers and creating a small flash of light. Her magic was back.

"Don't think you're not going to be grounded for this," her mother's voice returned to its usual authoritative tone. "Didn't you think about recharging before you left?"

"I didn't expect to be gone so long," Glimmer answered.

"Where did you go?" asked Angella.

"Well, Bow and I found some ancient First Ones technology because it would help the rebellion but we got a little sidetracked. And then we got to Thaymor and... and the Horde... They..." Glimmer started to trip over her words and her eyes watered. _Why are you crying, idiot?_ "They attacked. Because they wanted someone— I mean, something important we have."

Angella had stopped looking angry with Glimmer, but when she spoke, her voice was ice cold. "So that's where all that smoke was coming from. Glimmer, tell me everything."

*

Adora felt a bit better after Bow, insisting that Glimmer wouldn't mind, forced her to wash the blood and soot off her face in the bathroom. She'd had to remove the bandages on her hands to do this though, and she was having trouble reapplying them.

"Do you need help?" Bow asked.

"No," she answered.

"So, uh... What was the Horde like?"

Adora didn't answer.

Bow tentatively asked a few more questions and received some monotonous replies, but when Glimmer appeared in the centre of the room twenty minutes later, Bow was yelling, his voice cracking all over the place, while Adora was both agitated and a bit entertained by it all.

"What do you mean?!" Bow shrieked. His face lit up when he saw Glimmer and he accusingly pointed at Adora. "Glimmer, she thinks vegetarians can't eat eggs!"

"What?" Glimmer asked, unprepared for this.

"Well... Aren't eggs just baby bird goo? Isn't that the same as eating a human embryo?" Adora asked quietly.

Bow mimed being sick and said, "Honestly, I'm surprised the Horde taught you what an embryo is."

"That doesn't matter right now," Glimmer interrupted. "My mum's gonna be here soon and we have to show her She-Ra."

Even though Adora knew it was the only way she'd be able to get information from the Queen, she still glared at the floor. Why did she have to go through all this bullshit just because she wanted to know where she came from?

Glimmer sat down near her. "Do you think you can do it?" she asked.

Adora sighed, "I don't know. Whenever I transformed we were in danger, and I don't really remember much of the rest."

"What do you mean?" Bow asked.

"It feels like there's a gap in my memory," the blonde muttered, trying to piece things together. "That robot came up to us and I grabbed the sword, but the next thing I knew I was on the ground. It's like... like I see everything that's going on while She-Ra's there, but I can't do anything about it, and when I'm me again it all fades away."

Bow and Glimmer gave each other a worried look. Bow's eyes flickered to Adora (who fortunately didn't notice because she was looking at the floor) in a _do-you-think-we-should-tell-her-what-happened_ way and Glimmer violently shook her head. She didn't know how well Adora would handle knowing she went berserk— no, knowing She-Ra went berserk on the Horde soldiers and probably killed a few of them.

She awkwardly patted between Adora's shoulder blades. "Bow and I will buy you some time. Give it a try, okay?" Glimmer said, standing up. "See ya!" she exclaimed, grabbing Bow and teleporting them both away.

Adora picked up the sword with some difficulty, placing the flat part of the blade on both palms, from where Bow propped it against when they first entered. Scanning the room with tired eyes, she decided that it was too restricted in there. Getting down the rope would be easier than climbing up it but she groaned at the thought, shutting her eyes as if she could already feel the pain. She looked out the window, hoping that the breeze would cool her down, when she saw a large, grey animal on four legs. Horsey. Adora didn't hesitate this time and climbed out the window.

*

"Did y'all see that new princess?" Lonnie announced to everyone in the locker room. "It was a bloodbath! She destroyed all our shit and killed a buncha people! One dude's brains were splattered all over the place."

Kyle, who was sitting right in front of her, looked like he was going to be sick.

"Did you even see her?" one of her friends from the other unit asked.

"Nope. And I'm fuckin' glad I didn't," said Lonnie.

"Ugh, please," Catra said, walking over to her from where she was sitting alone. "She just surprised us."

"Mmhmm," the girl hummed in disbelief. "You were right there when she caused that earthquake, and you didn't do _shit_."

Catra growled, getting up in Lonnie's face in less than a second. "You think I'm scared of some fucking _princess_? I could _kill_ her."

"And how you gonna do that? You gonna scratch her ankles?" Lonnie chuckled, smirking. She shoved Catra away and her buddies stood by her side. "Careful, kitty. Your girlfriend ain't here to protect you anymore," she threatened as Catra walked out.

Catra opened the door to the room she shared with the others and flopped onto the bed she and Adora used to share. She took off the mask on her face, not that it obscured much, and placed it on the floor, hands slipping under the pillow and pulling out a red jacket. Adora's red jacket. When Catra ran away after seeing She-Ra she stumbled upon it, scrunched up in a bush, and brought it back with her. Catra held it close and buried her face in the familiar, red fabric.

Then her eyes drifted to the drawing of the two of them on the small, jutting wall near the pillow. Burning with white-hot rage, she slashed the little drawing of Adora.

Catra needed her and Adora had turned away. Catra needed to be needed. But she wasn't. Wasn't even wanted. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

_Calm down—_

_I begged her and she left me._

_She doesn't love me. She never loved me. She tolerated me._

Catra started to punch and tear the mattress apart, unrestrained.

_She got tired of seeing Shadow Weaver hurt me to control her._

_She waited for the right moment to leave._

_She left me for princesses. She became a princess._

_That thing killed Horde soldiers. That thing would have killed me too if she saw me there._

_What do I do now?_

Catra wiped her eyes before tears could drip down her face, the fine fur on the backs of her hands getting slightly damp.

"Catra!" Shadow Weaver called as she entered the room. The aforementioned girl abruptly stood up and bashed her head on the base of the top bunk.

"What?" she grumbled.

"Still impertinent as ever, I see. After such a grand failure, not including your birth, you would be safer showing more _respect_ to me," Shadow Weaver said, a grey hand running through Catra's hair.

"I did everything you wanted. But you never told us there'd be a crazy princess there," Catra muttered, irritated by what the woman was doing.

The hand in her hair suddenly tightened and pulled her close. "I told you to bring back Adora. Instead our vehicles were destroyed, soldiers were killed and Adora is still gone," Shadow Weaver said, quiet but irate, her face close to Catra's ears, which were flat on her head. Catra herself had both hands on Shadow Weaver's wrist, gritting her teeth and trying to ignore the lurching ropes of shadow slowly engulfing them both in a private hell.

Despite her desire to scream, Catra grinned at the woman. "Maybe if you weren't such a psychotic _bitch_ ," she started, "Adora would still—"

"Silence!" Shadow Weaver roared and suddenly grabbed Catra's throat, squeezing tightly. One by one, the green light bulbs in the room shattered and left them in darkness while Shadow Weaver's even darker shadow tentacles writhed madly, occasionally curling around Catra, who was starting to choke. "You will answer to Lord Hordak himself and explain why you failed!"

*

Adora woke up to see an old lady and a horse staring down at her.

"Horsey?" she muttered, remembering how she'd messed up with the sword and accidentally changed Horsey from grey to white. His eyes and hair had changed colour and he had a large pair of wings. Adora also remembered accidentally exposing her identity to the citizens and guards while trying to chase Horsey, and then falling from a small cliff into a river.

"He says he prefers to be called Swift Wind; Horsey was a stupid name," the old woman said and scuttled over.

"Huh?" Adora sat up, realising she was on a blanket on the floor. "Who are you?"

"Don't be silly, Mara, it's me, Madam Razz!" said Razz.

"I think you've mistaken me for someone else," sighed Adora. "Where did you even find me?"

"I saw you floating in the river while I was berry picking, dearie. Somebody did a real number on you, didn't they? I'm no doctor but I've tried my best," Razz explained, poking Adora's forehead.

Adora looked at herself; she had clean bandages and a new one wrapped around her head (she probably reopened her cut when she fell), and surprisingly, she didn't feel much pain. "Thank you," she said, "but I have to go."

"Don't you want to stay for some berries and tea?" Razz asked.

"No, thank you, that's alright," Adora repeated, turning to Swift Wind. "Horsey, do you know the way back to Bright Moon?" she asked. He stared at her blankly. "Uh... Swift Wind? Could I have a ride, please?" This time, Swift Wind snorted and spread his wings wide. Adora smiled and climbed on, her injured arm moving with more ease.

Back in Bright Moon, Queen Angella was lecturing her daughter. "How could you be so reckless and disobedient, sneaking a Horde soldier into Bright Moon!? You could have gotten people killed!" she yelled.

"Mum, you don't understand! That soldier—"

"I understand enough, Glimmer, and I'm deeply disappointed with what you've done."

Bow nervously stepped in front of Glimmer. "Your Majesty, it wasn't all Glimmer's fault—" he began, but Angella gave him a stern look.

"Bow, you should go home and tell your parents you're safe. They're probably worried," she advised.

Glimmer had been looking at the ground, biting her lower lip, but she glanced back up at her mother. "Mum, she's the—"

A familiar gold light appeared in the centre of the large chamber and Bow and Glimmer looked away before they could get temporarily blinded again. The guards weren't so lucky. She-Ra, with her sword strapped to her back, took only a few steps forward and was directly in front of Queen Angella. Her hands shook and her body was tense as if she was uncomfortable with not being able to fight.

"She-Ra," said the Queen in astonishment.

She-Ra opened her mouth slightly as if she wanted to say something, but no sound came out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a bit longer to update because of school.  
> Also think I'm going to make the story diverge from canon. A bit has changed and will change with the way She-Ra is in this story: hard to control, but I should change more.  
> Thanks for reading!


	5. White knuckles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra vs Lonnie.

"They made _you_ a force captain?" Lonnie asked in a voice mixed with disbelief and anger, stopping her attack on the training robot which was mauling Kyle. It was the last training session that day and everyone except Catra, who had been standing in front of Hordak less than an hour ago, was exhausted.

"Damn right, they did," Catra said, adjusting the new mask on her head. It was dark silver, heavier and more ornate than her previous one, with pointed horns jutting out from the top and a small, hollowed out section in the middle. Of course, her old one was still her favourite because of nostalgia, but this one was nice, too.

"Congratulations!" Kyle shrieked as he was swung into the air once again.

" _How_?" Lonnie asked after ducking away from a large, metal limb.

"Oh, Lonnie, sweet dumb Lonnie. I guess I'm just better than you," Catra chuckled, an obnoxiously smug look on her face. "Hordak's brain isnt made of marmite, unlike Shadow Weaver's, so he saw potential in me. Now that I'm force captain, Shadow Weaver won't be the only one—" she paused. Lonnie, Kyle and his lizard friend (Catra always forgot his name because he never spoke) were staring at her in shock. Even the robot was still. "Shadow Weaver's right behind me, isn't she?" asked Catra, superiority fizzling away.

She turned and begrudgingly saluted along with everyone else and sighed as Shadow Weaver pulled her out of the training area to the shared locker room.

"What do you _want_?" Catra growled once they were alone.

"Do not use that tone with me. I want you to tell me what happened to Adora. What did you _do_?" asked Shadow Weaver, straight to the point.

_We're talking about this again?_

"You're blaming this on _me_!?" Catra asked. It was bad enough when she blamed herself for why Adora abandoned her but when Shadow Weaver did it too it made her blood boil. Who did she think she was? "I _wish_ I knew why she left!" Catra shouted.

But she knew already. The Horde was evil and Adora was too righteous to follow their orders. Catra didn't care about that stuff. Righteousness wouldn't save her own life, even if it did save the lives of others. And Catra only had herself now. But there was something else; something that she couldn't admit.

"Tell me the truth!" roared Shadow Weaver. Her shadows spread outward in an explosion of black and shoved Catra against the wall. Consequently, everything in her vision became dark except the gem on Shadow Weaver's mask, which cast a faint red glow around her. "If you don't want to tell me I swear on Etheria I'll rip it from your mind—" With a sudden groan of pain, she slumped to the floor, shadows retracting back into her body. Then she left, Catra not making an effort to do or say anything.

For a minute, maybe ten, she wasn't sure, she stood still. Her hand finally moved up to touch her throat, painful bruises hidden by fur. She sighed in relief. Thankfully, Shadow Weaver didn't strangle her again, so the bruises weren't any worse.

Voices filled the room not much later. A few cadets from other units and the ones from her own were there.

"Don't think I was jokin' when I said that," hissed Lonnie, materialising in front of Catra with her hands on her hips.

"Huh?" asked Catra, blinking, still stuck in thought. The girl got closer and Catra resisted the urge to shove her.

"Your girlfriend's gone now. And just 'cause you're a force captain that doesn't mean you can boss me around. If you piss me off I'll teach you a lesson. A real good one," Lonnie chuckled.

"She's not my girlfriend. And _You_ : a cadet, think you can teach _me_ : a force captain? Bite me, bitch," Catra said, an edge to her voice.

She couldn't attack Lonnie with no provocation because Shadow Weaver would use it as an excuse to hit her, lecture her, demote her back to a cadet and then make her run fifteen laps around the four hundred metre running track, but damn, Catra could barely hold on.

"Don't get too big headed. You're only a replacement." Lonnie got even closer to her.

"If I'm a replacement, then you're a disposable fucking _plastic bag_."

"Shut up, you furry _whore_."

Catra stared at Lonnie. She was being more mean than usual, but Catra didn't know if she had legitimately done something to anger her or if Lonnie was taking advantage of the fact that Adora was gone. Then she noticed that the chatter between the cadets had died down and a few nearby were now staring at the pair.

"Isn't she a force captain now?" one dude asked.

"Has the big one got a death wish or something?" someone else muttered.

"Nah, I think the freak should be more worried. Lonnie's tough," another person commented.

Catra briefly wondered if she should have stayed professional and told Lonnie to simply know her place, but decided against it. She couldn't look weak in front of a live audience.

"Trust you to know all about whores, Lonnie. You're the biggest one in the Fright Zone," Catra snapped.

Lonnie's face actually became red with rage. "Take that back!" she demanded, grabbing Catra's shoulders and slamming her back into a locker. "Take that back or I'll kill you!"

Catra yawned, trying to hide that Lonnie had hurt her. Why was she so mad, anyway? She started it. "I don't think so, Lonnie. If you kill me, Hordak will make you _wish_ you were dead," she warned, talking to the girl as if she was a stupid child, and Lonnie let go of her, moving back slightly.

"If you're so much better than me, _force captain_ , then you can meet me in the ring in room thirty-six, at eight. My fists will do all the talkin' for ya," Lonnie proposed.

The Horde was weird. Fighting would normally get you in trouble with severe punishments but if both fighters agreed to settle things in a ring there'd be no punishment for any of them. Instead, there'd be an audience and the loser would be shamed.

Lonnie sure was brave, challenging Catra in front of everyone. Was she actually strong enough or just emboldened by rage? Whatever. It didn't really matter because Catra had preparing to do now. "Sure. It won't take up too much of my time," she accepted, acting casual. The last training session always ended at six, so in two hours she'd be fighting Lonnie. She was about to leave but stopped when someone cleared their throat. Catra turned to see Kyle back in his normal clothes with that familiar, nervous look on his face.

"Good luck," he muttered.

Catra looked him up and down before grinning. "Thanks, Kyle, but I don't need it."

*

She didn't expect so many people to be there, but gossip about the fight must have spread. Roaring in her ears, the sounds were almost deafening. Some were shouts of support for Lonnie while others were for her, but overall she was stunned. Obviously, she hid that from everyone and raised her fist in the air, hearing cheers and boos.

"As you can see, we got our fighters here today," a soldier who was out of his uniform spoke into a microphone. "Lonnie on the blue side and Catra on the red!" More deafening noises. "Lonnie, anything you want to say?"

Lonnie, wearing blue shorts instead of her usual Horde trousers, took the microphone with two hands. "Yeah. I'm gonna beat Catra and show her I'm more qualified to be a force captain!" she yelled into it, making the crowd go wild.

"And Catra?"

"Let's just get this over with," said the girl, not wearing her new mask because it was a hazard in the ring. Her clothes had stayed the same because they were already red.

"You know the rules, right?" asked the soldier. "No eye gouging. No kicking between the legs. No biting or scratching. If anyone breaks the rules they're disqualified. The fight ends when someone forfeits or gets knocked out."

Catra sighed and retracted her claws. "Yeah, okay."

The two of them finally stood in their places; Catra on the left, Lonnie on the right, and everyone watching grew quiet. Hand in the air, the soldier stood between them before he stepped back and brought his hand down to signal the start of the match.

As Catra expected, Lonnie attacked first, jumping forward with her fist raised. She swung but Catra ducked and slid to the side, making the girl try again, moving faster than before. She chased Catra around the ring, hands up near her face, and the crowd started yelling again, some telling Catra to stop being a coward while others were rooting for her.

Her dodging didn't last for too long, however, as Lonnie feinted with her left hand before pivoting and punching Catra, who had jumped away, in the face with her right. Her ears twitched as everyone collectively screamed, but her face hurt more.

Were Lonnie's hands made of rocks? Catra's vision was blurry and her cheek burned, but that wouldn't stop her, though; Shadow Weaver had done worse things. Taking advantage of the girl's surprise, Catra jabbed her fist into Lonnie's unguarded stomach and pushed up into her diaphragm, expelling all the air from her lungs.

Lonnie took a few steps back, hand over her belly, unable to breathe, but she was still, miraculously, standing. Catra took the opportunity now that Lonnie wasn't guarding her face and punched her, making her head snap to the side. Another whoop from the crowd.

"I've been wanting to do that for a long time," Catra growled, rubbing her knuckles where they'd hit the girl's face.

Lonnie wiped her mouth and saw blood. "Fuck you!" she yelled, jumping at Catra, who managed to evade her just in time. Unfortunately, Lonnie grabbed her clothes and pulled her close, smashing her forehead against Catra's before shoving her to the floor of the ring.

Everything was spinning. Catra could barely hear the crowd over the ringing in her ears. Blood trickled down her face.

_I can't lose._

_Everything she said would be right._

Before she could jump back onto her feet, Lonnie kneeled down above her and started to strangle her, pushing down on Catra's throat with all her body weight. Catra could mostly see black now. Growling, she punched Lonnie in the side of the head and kneed her stomach again. The girl's grip weakened and Catra shoved her off, grabbing her head and slamming her face into the floor.

For a few moments, there was silence, and Lonnie turned over onto her side, breathing heavily.

_Don't get up._

_Don't get up._

Catra glared at her from above.

"Furry... whore..."  she said weakly, trying to push herself up using her forearms.

Catra shoved Lonnie's face back into the floor where it belonged. "That's for strangling me," Catra snapped. Then she pulled Lonnie's hair and kissed her. After a few seconds, she moved back. "And that's for calling me a whore," she added, purposefully wiping her mouth.

Lonnie didn't move after that.

"The winner of this match is Catra!" the soldier spoke into the microphone and the crowd reacted in a mixture of different ways. Cheers for her, angry boos, slurs and insults, while some were yelling at Lonnie to get back up. Most people, however, were just cheering. For Catra.

Catra grinned, ignoring the pain in her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... so that happened. This chapter was a bit of a break from the princesses and stuff. Next chapter will probably have Glimmer telling Adora what happened when she was She-Ra.


	6. I'm here again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glimmer spills the tea.

It was late. Adora knew that. But for some odd reason there were no clocks around — at least not in her room. Was it a room? It felt too big to be called one, but she didn't dwell on the terminologies she should use.

After she had accepted to stick with the rebellion, she had a bath. There wasn't a shower in her room except a waterfall (Glimmer thought she was joking when she suggested that.) So she had to make do with the bathtub. Glimmer also seemed amused by the fact that Adora didn't know that different soaps with different scents existed; back in the Horde there were only two: shampoo for hair and regular body washing soap. Both were bright green for some reason, which lead to a lot of mix ups.

Glimmer gave her some of her own clothes and an unused, blue toothbrush she found, but what intrigued Adora the most was a pink t-shirt with a weird, fat animal on it. When she asked what it was the princess rolled her eyes and asked if everyone from the Horde was as stupid as her, but she apologised a few seconds later, seeing as Adora had left the Horde and risked her life for her and Bow.

Then the Queen got a healer to see her. Thirty minutes later, her hands were covered in some weird ointment, completely wrapped up in white bandages that made it look like she was wearing boxing gloves, and her shoulder and head had received a similar treatment.

Glimmer took her on a quick tour and then dropped her back to her room.

She was alone. The only sound in the room was the steady trickling of water from the waterfall. She sat on the bed and lay back, despite it caving in like it wanted to devour her. For a long time, she tried to sleep but couldn't, so Adora paced around, inspecting everything, hoping that the sun would rise, but it was still infuriatingly dark outside.

She opened her door, looking out into the dark and silent hallway before she cautiously stepped outside, remembering what Glimmer said about her room being "down the hall." How far down it was, she never specified. Adora walked until she saw a ball of light — and holding it was the Queen herself. Before Adora could retreat Queen Angella glanced at her then looked back at the wall.

"Uh. Good evening— I mean, good night... Your Majesty," Adora greeted, unsure if she should have saluted or bowed down. "What are you looking at?" she asked, trying to hide her nervousness.

"My husband: King Micah," said the Queen, raising her light source to show a mural of a faceless, dark haired man. "He started the rebellion with me and was one of the first casualties of the Horde." She stepped to the side and moved her hand to show a Horde soldier in full uniform.

"Sorry," Adora muttered, trying to take even breaths. "I didn't know."

"Adora," said Angella, turning to her with the light still in her hand. Adora flinched. The _way_ she said her name. Calmly yet coldly. Almost sinister. Like. Like Shadow Weaver. That woman should have brought her comfort, but instead provoked fear in her soul. Adora didn't understand why. Shadow Weaver was always... _polite_  to her, despite her harsh treatment of the other cadets. "My daughter seems to believe you can help us, and because I love her I will trust her intuition. Do not disappoint her," she warned, the light disappearing, her hand forming a clenched fist.

Adora wordlessly nodded. She never thought she'd be afraid of sparkles, but when the Queen was staring at her with a ball of them in her hand it was almost... terrifying. Was she going to kill Adora? Shadow Weaver always said that Princesses were ruthless. Maybe she was r—

_It can't be true. I just saw the Horde burn down a village. Why should I believe her?_

After Queen Angella walked away, Adora placed a hand on her t-shirt and thumped herself hard in the chest as if that would shock her rapidly beating heart into stillness. Her head was starting to warm up like it had been clogged up with cotton wool, making her feel sick. Guilt. Crushing her. The ground seemed to sway beneath her but she steadied herself.

While her courage was still fresh, she tapped on Glimmer's door. Not much sound was produced because of the thick bandages, so she hit it a little harder. Almost immediately, the door opened. "Hey," said Glimmer, wearing a t-shirt that also had that fat animal on it, her pink hair sticking up all over the place. "Do you wanna come in?" she asked

"Sorry for waking you up," Adora apologised, Glimmer leading her in. The two of them sat on the bed near the window.

"Nah, it's fine, I wasn't even sleeping," Glimmer said dismissively. "I tried but I couldn't."

"Yeah. How are you?" asked Adora, her knees bouncing up and down. The Princess seemed surprised by her question but replied anyway.

"To be honest with you? I don't know. I mean, after everything that's happened..." Glimmer's nonchalant tone of voice faded away and a conflicted look appeared on her face. "Um, how are  _you_ doing?" she asked awkwardly.

"Good," was Adora's simple response, her knees bouncing so much now that the bed was vibrating.

"Right." Glimmer didn't sound like she believed her at all. "So... what brings you here? she asked.

"I don't know. It was noisy back in the Fright Zone, so I'm not used to being somewhere so quiet," explained the blonde, who seemed focused on staring at anything but Glimmer. She left out the fact that she couldn't sleep alone. Right now her attention was on the dark sky, with its grey clouds.

After an awkwardly long silence, save for the little squeaky sounds the bed made whenever Adora's leg bounced, Glimmer placed a hand on the girl's arm and looked at her. "Do you really not remember anything from when you were She-Ra?" she asked. Adora stopped moving.

"Not much," Adora started, "I remember feeling smothered and stuff, but that's it... Why are you asking?"

"So you remember _nothing_ after you tried to protect me from that robot?" Glimmer pressed, anxiously biting her lower lip.

"What do you mean? What happened?" Adora asked, panic rising inside her. This only made Glimmer retreat into herself, so she grabbed her shoulders. "Glimmer, you have to tell me. What did I— What did She-Ra—"

"Promise you won't get mad at me?" asked Glimmer, suddenly looking vulnerable.

"Why would I get angry with you?" Adora questioned.

"She-Ra went berserk," Glimmer blurted out. "You— She destroyed all the tanks. And kicked some soldier really hard and I think he died, I never checked, and— and the tank explosions probably killed a few more, too, and the Horde soldiers tried to retreat, but she started chasing them... and then I yelled at her to stop and you came back. That's about it," she concluded, trembling slightly.

The whole time she'd been explaining, Adora stared at the ground with a blank look on her face that slowly but subtly morphed into an expression Glimmer couldn't recognise. For a while, no one said anything.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier," Glimmer said, stammering. "You looked so scared and sad and then— and then you had that panic attack, and I didn't want that to happen again, at least, not so soon."

"It's fine," Adora said, though she sounded the complete opposite of fine. Even her usually straight posture had given up on her and her body was wilting like a flower. "You know, even though I hated it, I thought that if I became She-Ra I could stop other people from dying in front of me. And all I did was kill more," she muttered, her voice hollow, head lowered. "I'm exactly like the princesses the Horde told me to hate."

_I'm a murderer._

_Shadow Weaver's never going to forgive me._

_Catra's never going forgive me._

_I don't want to go back to Hell._

"It's not your—"

"Don't say that," Adora said, glancing at Glimmer with thinly veiled anger, and stood up, her heartbeat throbbing in her head, making her dizzy. Glimmer did the same and followed her to the door.

"You can stay here if you want," she offered.

Adora shook her head, staring into space, before opening the door to the hallway and stepping outside. She didn't turn around. Glimmer noticed that the back of her t-shirt was wet; probably because she hadn't dried her hair properly after washing it. Sighing, she shut the door.

Entering her room, Adora half heartedly glared at the sword lying on the floor and reluctantly sat down on the bed. Apart from the feeling of self loathing, she didn't feel anything.

Adora wasn't She-Ra. She-Ra was a Princess. And according to Glimmer, she was a bloodthirsty Princess. Adora might have sided with the rebellion but she would never stoop low enough to call herself a Princess, especially after what she found out.

 _ **Stop resisting, Adora. I'm always right,** _Shadow Weaver's gloating voice echoed in her head from the distant past. When did she say that? Adora looked back into the database of memories in her mind, but couldn't associate the woman's statement with an event.

Brushing her away, Adora thought some more.

She-Ra, a Princess, was a monster. And Adora wasn't a Princess. No way. She wasn't She-Ra.

So why did she feel responsible?

Adora shut her eyes and pressed her wrapped up hands over them.

Something flashed in her mind. A glowing, red light. Shadow Weaver's mask staring directly at her, dark hair floating wildly.

_Why am I seeing this?_

She heard herself, younger and angrier, yelling at Shadow Weaver to stop. That she hated her for doing that to Catra.

_Doing what?_

_**You're just confused, my child. I'll fix you. I'll make you feel happy again. That animal is to blame.** _

Adora opened her eyes. Her room stared back at her, just as it was before. No Shadow Weaver, no red light. She flopped down on her bed and curled up on her side.

When she finally fell asleep, she dreamed of fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all for now. I'll probably update a few days later, maybe a week, because I have school. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  
> Next chapter might have some more fighting with the Horde.


	7. Still worth fighting for

It was dark in the Fright Zone; it always was, but at night the sky was almost black. Catra was tired. It had taken a long time for her and the other soldiers who had survived She-Ra's violent attack to get back to the Fright Zone because their tanks were unable to move. She slept in the forest to take a break then continued walking. By the time she made it back home, it was midday. Lonnie taunted her, she cried (like a little bitch) over Adora, Shadow Weaver strangled her and then took her to Hordak, who made her a force captain. Lonnie challenged her. Catra trained and had a snack so she'd have enough energy. Then she fought Lonnie and won after kissing her.

What a wild day.

Once the fight ended Lonnie was taken to the dorms by one of her friends. After all that Catra got a few pats on the back from her supporters, who started whooping when two more fighters got in the ring to settle a dispute. Not liking the loud noises from the crowd filled with other cadets and soldiers, Catra left the room.

Pacing around in the hallway for a few minutes, she froze when a cold presence brushed over her fur. Shadow Weaver appeared from seemingly nowhere and Catra rolled her eyes. She'd probably been one of the people cheering for Lonnie and was here to punish her for winning.

"What the fuck do you want?" asked Catra.

"Watch your language," Shadow Weaver hissed, moving a hand toward her. Catra's ears flattened. She hated those things. Even if she could control her facial expressions and posture her ears almost had a mind of their own and gave her away. She braced herself for a slap but relaxed when Shadow Weaver simply wiped some blood off her lip. "What you did to cadet Lonnie was indecent," she continued.

"I didn't break any of the rules, for once, so you can't punish me," Catra tried not to shout at the woman. "Besides, it's not like I had sex with—"

"Enough," Shadow Weaver growled, turning away and walking. "Do not engage in such filthy acts ever again. Or I will take away that force captain badge and that tail of yours," she threatened, leaving Catra by herself.

A few minutes later, Catra decided to go to the bathrooms in the dorms since there was nothing to do to pass the time. After washing the blood off her face and sticking a plaster on her forehead she dried her face with some tissues. She quickly brushed her teeth and left. Curling up on her bed, Catra slipped her hands under the pillow and pulled Adora's red jacket to her chest. She felt unusually cold. But why? Shadow Weaver wasn't even there.

 _I don't get it_ , she thought. _How did everything go from bad to worse? Why did she do it?_

Catra had never known what it was to be alone because Adora was always there. But now she had left. And it would never be the same without her.

She thought for hours until it was almost dawn but couldn't come to a conclusion.

*

"Bow, are you sure you've been to the bathroom?" asked Glimmer.

Bow sighed. "What are you? My _dad_?" he complained.

Glimmer shook her head and pointed at him. "No, but you always stop 'cause you need to pee!" she grumbled. "We have to get to Plumeria as soon as possible."

"I mean, we just left the castle," Bow muttered, looking up at the sun, which was hidden by grey clouds. "Am I right, Adora?" he asked, nudging the girl beside him. Adora made a sound that sounded like she was agreeing, but she hadn't even been listening. "See?" he said to Glimmer.

"Whatever," said the Princess.

They walked and had breaks in between to rest and drink water. Bow and Glimmer sat in the grass, looking at their map, while Adora stood near the wagon, occasionally patting the horse pulling it. It wasn't Swift Wind, but another one from Bright Moon. Swift Wind had strangely disappeared. He was probably out there living his best life, while Adora was in a forest with a sword tied to her, impatiently tapping her wrapped up hand on the wood and then rubbing them up and down her bare arms.

Bow had brought her some clothes when he turned up at the castle in the morning, saying he knew Adora would hate to wear Glimmer's clothes, which was oddly thoughtful of him. Seeing as her old clothes were ruined, Adora had worn Bow's donations; a black t-shirt Bow had never worn and a pair of trousers that were too small for him.

She was tired. After nightmares kept waking her up last night her thoughts bounced back and forth between the attack on Thaymor, Shadow Weaver and, of course, Catra.

She missed Catra. Her bright eyes, high pitched laughter, sarcastic remarks, the way she purred, and the soft fur that Adora loved to rub her cheek against. And everything else about her that she couldn't list for three reasons: the list would be too long, Adora was too tired to list for such a long period of time and she'd get distracted every few minutes and would have to start over again.

But Catra hated her now. So there was no point thinking about her.

While Adora felt better than yesterday, she still didn't feel good, and annoyingly, Glimmer had been sending a few concerned looks in her direction. By the time they arrived in Plumeria it was almost dark despite them leaving before noon. "I think we're here," said Glimmer, glancing at the map.

"There's nothing except trees," Adora spoke for the first time in hours, looking around.

"Guys," Bow squeaked. "Look up!" They did. Up in the thick, intertwined branches of the trees that were still living were small, wooden houses. "Tree houses!"

"Calm down, Bow. You literally live in the woods," Glimmer said. She cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "We'd like to speak with Princess Perfuma! We're from Bright Moon and we're here to help!"

"Perfuma?" Adora repeated, rolling her eyes. Did she get called that because she used lots of perfume? More proof that all Princesses and things relating to them had stupid names

The leaves began to rustle as the people up in the trees moved about, a few curious heads peeping out now and then. Finally, a girl wearing brightly coloured clothes, presumably the Princess, slid down from a large vine that had just grown from the ground. "That's me! Hi!" she greeted.

Glimmer held her hand out. "I'm commander Glimmer of Bright Moon," she said, and was about to keep talking when a bouquet of flowers suddenly popped into existence in her outstretched hand. Flower crowns formed around Bow, the horse's and Adora's heads.

"Nice," Bow whispered in awe, posing fabulously. The horse didn't seem to appreciate it much, if it even noticed, while Adora, on the other hand, quickly tore the flowers off.

"How do I know these aren't poisonous?" she asked.

Glimmer groaned and put the bouquet down. "Please forgive her, Princess. She doesn't... _understand_  magic," she apologised to Perfuma, who chuckled in response.

"It's fine. I only save the poisonous ones for _enemies_ ," Perfuma joked, grinning.

 _Great_ , thought Adora. _First you have Princesses who kill people with sparkles, and now one who kills with flowers. What next? A Princess who kills people with water?_ She stared at the floor until she felt someone tap her shoulder. Bow.

"Aren't you gonna introduce yourself?" he whispered. Apparently, while Adora had been thinking about how ridiculous Princesses were, Bow had introduced himself and everyone was now waiting for her to do the same.

"That's Adora and she's got a magic sword," Glimmer interrupted. "But we'll get to that later. There are supplies in that wagon over there. Perfuma, tell us what's been going on recently."

They walked deeper into Plumeria, a few of the inhabitants waving as they passed by, until the group settled near the largest tree they'd seen so far: the Heart-Blossom, the source of Perfuma's magical powers.

Perfuma had almost explained everything in an oddly cheerful manner on the way there as she jumped about and spun around like a leaf in the wind. Trees were slowly dying, people were losing their homes and crops were failing to grow. A squad from the Horde was also camping nearby, and that was blocking the supply routes to Plumeria. That probably explained the smoke drifting into the air from the distance.

"Well, I think we can help!" Glimmer spoke up. All heads turned to her. "Adora?" she called.

"Yeah?" replied the aforementioned girl. Why was Glimmer looking at  _her_? Oh. A second later, her eyes went wide.

"Please excuse us," Glimmer said to Perfuma, "but Adora and I need to talk in those bushes over there." She grabbed Adora's arm, ignoring her shudder, and pulled her away from Bow and Perfuma, teleporting behind a cluster of large bushes a few metres away.

"Glimmer— I can't. I don't want to be She-Ra," Adora muttered, wrenching her arm out from Glimmer's grasp and rubbing it again.

"Hey, it's okay if you're scared—" started the Princess.

"I'm not scared," Adora snapped, but felt guilty right after doing so and stared at her shoes. "I just— don't want to kill anyone."

"You won't. Because you won't be fighting," Glimmer reassured her. Adora looked back up. "I want to show Perfuma. She might know stuff about She-Ra that you and I don't. We could try to help Plumeria and help you learn how to control She-Ra at the same time." She met Adora's gaze, which was barely concealing her fear. "I mean, if you really don't want to, then maybe we can help Plumeria another way. Sorry. It's dumb of me to ask you for this after what happened."

"You promise I won't have to fight?" asked Adora, hating how vulnerable she sounded. "And if She-Ra acts weird, you'll stop her. Right?" Her blue eyes stared earnestly into Glimmer's as if she was trying to read her mind.

She couldn't let the Horde harm another community, but at the same time she couldn't admit to Glimmer how scared she was of transforming. She hated She-Ra for what she did; hated herself for not being able to control the warrior Princess.

But Adora didn't have any magical abilities by herself. Maybe She-Ra had something. Something that could heal. She doubted that, seeing as She-Ra was insane, but there was always a chance. Adora looked around and concentrated on the sounds of the forest.

No danger in sight.

Yesterday, Adora was able to transform into She-Ra and stand before the Queen without doing anything dangerous.

She could do that. She hoped.

_Suck it up, coward._

_Don't you want to do the right thing?_

_But she's a princess. And a killer._

_You won't have to transform for long._

Glimmer nodded. "I promise. I won't let you hurt anyone."

"Okay," muttered Adora, fumbling with the straps around her body and pulling the sword free from her back. She silently raised it into the air with her good arm, contemplating whether or not she should carry out the transformation.

_I'm not scared._

Then she yelled, fueled by her frustration, "For the honour of Grayskull!"

Glimmer turned away before she could get blinded by the light emitted, only looking back once it faded slightly. She-Ra stood before her, sword clenched tightly in her hand, and Glimmer nervously tapped her arm, hoping she wouldn't stick the sword into her for doing so. Nothing happened.

"Can you understand me?" she asked.

She-Ra was quiet and stared right ahead.

"Hey!" Glimmer yelled in an attempt to get a reaction, having to crane her head upwards because she didn't even reach She-Ra's chest height. She-Ra finally looked down at her, holding eye contact until Glimmer looked away. "Not gonna talk?" she sighed. Leaves rustled and birds whistled in the darkness, but no sound came from the warrior princess. "Fine." Glimmer wrapped her arms around She-Ra's and teleported back to Bow and Perfuma.

When they got back, fireflies were lazily floating in the air, a few lanterns were lit up and some of the villagers had come down from the trees. She-Ra's presence, however, made the light from the fireflies and lanterns look dim in comparison.

"It's... It's the She-Ra!" Perfuma gasped. The villagers crowded around the giant, patting all over her body as if they were trying to check if she was real. Glimmer jumped between them.

"No more touching," she announced. "Adora isn't aware of anything, so we should leave her alone."

"Adora? _How_?" Perfuma asked, looking up. Perfuma was taller than almost everyone there but even she was dwarfed by She-Ra.

"Magic sword," stated Glimmer.

"And can the She-Ra understand us?"

"Not quite," Bow said, walking up to She-Ra. "You're a loser!" he yelled. The Princess was silent. "Sorry, Adora," he mumbled. "I think she only understands a few words at most."

"So, do you know anything about her?" Glimmer asked.

Perfuma nodded vigorously. "Do _I_? She's the warrior who tamed the beasts of Beast Island with one word— " she started.

"So far, she hasn't said anything. Maybe she's really shy," Bow interrupted.

"—And in an ancient story, She-Ra healed the forest and brought all the plants back to life!"

Bow and Glimmer exchanged nervous glances. How could She-Ra learn how to heal things in the short time the forest had when she couldn't even speak? Well, maybe she could. They turned to She-Ra, who was now holding a bunch of fruit that the villagers had gifted her, and a baby.

Bow plucked the baby before she dropped it— _her_ , and handed her to one of the villagers.

"Do you know how to heal?" he asked She-Ra once he turned back to her, enunciating every word. She-Ra stared at him. "Heal!" Bow yelled, his voice breaking. He tried for the next few minutes but didn't get anywhere, so he sighed and leaned against the Heart-Blossom. "Sorry, guys. It didn't work."

Perfuma and some of the other villagers who were crowded around She-Ra, tugging her cape, squeezing her biceps and twirling the ends of her hair, jumped away slightly when she shrunk back into Adora, who looked visibly shaken for a moment but blinked a few times, trying to understand where she was. The sword in her hand and the fruit clutched in her arm dropped and hit the ground with multiple thuds.

"What happened?" Adora asked, looking around for any damage. Bow and Glimmer got close to her and Bow put a hand on her shoulder. Her injured one. Adora tried not to show any discomfort.

"Nothing. It's all good," Glimmer muttered, unsure of what to do.

"I can't believe this! You really _are_ the She-Ra!" Perfuma, not understanding the situation, squeaked. "You're shorter than me, but she's... she's _big_."

"And a psychopath, apparently," Adora grumbled.

The crowd then dispersed, somewhat disheartened that the warrior was gone, leaving Bow, Glimmer, Perfuma and Adora back in their small group. "I need to be alone," Adora said, walking away. She left the sword behind. It wasn't like anybody could mess up with She-Ra as bad as she had.

Glimmer and Perfuma began to talk, Bow watching and listening. Glimmer was trying to come up with a solution that didn't require She-Ra but Perfuma was talking about fate, the universe and all that stuff. Bow decided to check on Adora and snuck away.

He found her in a clearing, patting the horse and feeding it fruit. "Hey, what'cha doing?" Bow asked.

"Nothing," muttered Adora.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you don't look okay. You sure about that?" Bow said under his breath.

Adora was quiet for a while and didn't answer his question, if she even heard it. She had questions of her own. Like: Why was she such a _failure_? She killed people, directly and indirectly, and now she couldn't even heal a forest. This was going to end badly. Like Thaymor. What if the Horde attacked because Plumeria was weakened? It'd be all her fault. Again.

Something exploded in the distance.

"No!" Adora exclaimed, dashing to where the sound came from, energised by her terror. Bow quickly followed. Thankfully, the sound only came from the Horde camp, where the smoke was, and no one seemed to be injured. Wooden planks, furniture and other possessions littered the ground though, but worst of all, the Heart-Blossom had lost its pink glow, now a dull, dark grey, with odd, oozing cracks running up the bark. All the villagers were on the ground, now. Adora was surprised at how many of them there were.

"You're not even going to try to save yourselves?" Glimmer was yelling at Perfuma. "The Horde squad probably did this. We could fight them!"

The usually bubbly Princess was now morose, light from the fireflies casting an almost supernatural glow on her tanned face. "Fight the Horde? I just make these," she explained, producing a flower in her hand, only to watch it die a few seconds later. "If She-Ra can't save us, no one can," she stated resolutely. "We're going to evacuate soon. It's too dangerous to stay here."

Perfuma and a few others began guiding the rest of the villagers to a safer area for the time being, leaving Bow, Glimmer and Adora near the Heart-Blossom, alone. Adora saw the sword in the corner of her eye and couldn't contain her anger. "Damn you!" she yelled, kicking the flat part of the blade, hoping that would get rid of the tension settling in her chest like a large weight. She let the people of Plumeria down. Just like she had let everyone else down.

She grabbed the hilt of the sword, bandages loosening from her hands, and chucked it on the ground. Bow tightly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close before she could reach for the sword again. "Calm down, Adora. We can fix this!" he cried.

"Get off," she demanded, trying to take even, deep breaths. Bow released her with an apologetic look on his face.

"Bow is right. Adora, you used to work for the Horde, so you probably know things about the security. We can infiltrate the camp and find a way to stop them from poisoning Plumeria," Glimmer suggested.

Adora wanted to punch herself. How was Glimmer acting so calm? Why was Adora so... _weak_? She'd never felt like this before.

Whatever. She could save the punches for later. She had to focus now so she could save Plumeria. Adora was never really good at that, but recently she'd been getting worse.

_Shadow Weaver would be disappointed if she saw me like this._

"Okay. Let's go. But first, I'm going to locate a bathroom," Adora said.

"Me too!" Bow announced.

*

The Best Friend Squad, as Bow had dubbed the trio, were standing beside the softly glowing Heart-Blossom, watching as Perfuma used her magic to grow flowers and vines to repair the trees.

"Thanks for helping. We couldn't have fought those soldiers if you hadn't decided to join in," Adora said.

"No. Thank _you_. I wasn't going to help at first, but then I read this," Perfuma replied, handing back the piece of paper Adora had left behind for her to read, saying that she, Glimmer and Bow would make things right. "And I realised that I had to fight if I wanted to save my people, even if I hated it, since you and your friends were working so hard."

While the two of them kept thanking each other back and forth, Glimmer and Bow were picking up rubbish and handing out some of the stuff they'd brought in the wagon to the villagers. The villagers, at first, were shaken after Perfuma ordered them to stay in the forest and headed into the Horde camp, but were relieved now that she had come back safe.

Some time later, they got their stuff and prepared to leave. Glimmer and Bow had small backpacks while Adora just had the sword. Glimmer held her hand out so Perfuma could shake it, but she pulled the trio into a hug instead.

"How can I ever repay you guys?" she asked, moving back.

"You could join the rebellion," Glimmer suggested.

"Didn't that fail super hard last time?" Perfuma frowned.

"My dad died fighting the Horde," Glimmer said. "And if the Horde's coming for all of us, then I'm not going to sit and wait for them to kill everyone. I want to win this thing or die trying. Maybe it's dangerous, but it'll be worth it if we win. Besides, think of what all the Princesses could do together!"

Bow and Adora were quiet.

"I understand how you feel. I'm sorry for your loss," said Perfuma, oddly serious. "I want my people to be safe, too. So, commander Glimmer, I can't refuse your offer."

Glimmer punched a fist into the air and gave Bow a loud smooch on the cheek. In response, Bow laughed and hugged her tightly, trying to squeeze all the air out of her. Adora noticed this but didn't react to it, deep in thought, while Perfuma sent a few glances at her, still not able to believe she was She-Ra.

"So that's why your name is Perfuma," Adora muttered to herself. Perfuma had a flowery scent like perfume. It wasn't like Adora had purposefully inhaled as much as she could when she was being hugged, but the very air around Perfuma was overwhelmingly intoxicating.

"Huh? What do you mean?" asked the Princess.

"Nothing," Adora said quickly.

And then they were gone. They took the horse back with them and left the wagon in Plumeria. Logically, they should have been exhausted after being on the move until dark and fighting some Horde soldiers on top of that, but they were all too pumped up with adrenaline to notice. Perfuma suggested they could stay in Plumeria for the night but Glimmer said her mother would be worried.

"I almost died!" Bow, who was on the horse's back, squeaked. "And my life flashed before my eyes. It was pretty cool."

"Yep! And you didn't even have to transform into She-Ra to fight!" Glimmer said, looking at Adora.

"Yeah," Adora replied.

"Speaking of She-Ra, Perfuma and the others were all over her!" Bow announced, unable to stop speaking now that he had started. "They were all touching her arms and stuff!"

"She-Ra could stab Perfuma and she would probably thank her," Glimmer chuckled.

"Ugh, shut up," Adora groaned. She didn't want to dampen the mood, but She-Ra was as evil as the stereotypical anti-princess propaganda in the Horde. Cold hearted, ruthless, violent, uncontrollable. A monster. Instead, she muttered, "Why does everyone like She-Ra more than they like me?"

"What?" Bow almost screamed, making Glimmer slap her hands over her ears.

"Well done, you scared away all the potential predators," she said.

"We don't feel that way!" Bow declared. "Right, Glimmer?"

"Yeah. I thought you were an asshole when we first met, but it's not completely your fault. You're alright. We like you because you're you, not She-Ra," Glimmer admitted, not noticing the puzzled look on Adora's face. "Bow, can Adora and I hop on the horse in an hour or so?" she asked.

"Why don't you just jump on now?" Bow asked.

"I don't think it can carry three of us. That's kinda sad for the horse," Glimmer said. Adora nodded.

"Yeah, you're right," said Bow. "Well, then. Charge, my noble stallion!" he yelled a few seconds later, patting the horse on its chocolate coloured head.

"Loser," Glimmer joked, stifling a laugh.

Adora simply watched, almost smiling.

She didn't feel like punching herself anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I'm dead inside from writing this. Anyway, there will be a slight change in the plot next chapter that involves a certain princess.


	8. Recruitment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra disobeys Shadow Weaver, Glimmer saves Sea Hawk from getting his head bashed in and Catra recruits someone.

For an entire day, Catra stayed in the Fright Zone, training and doing some research for future missions. At night she lay in the bottom bunk, alone once again with a plan forming in her head. The next morning, Shadow Weaver called for her.

"Yo, Shadow Weaver, been a long time," Catra said as she sauntered into the permanently dark room.

"One day," the woman corrected. "Now, get over here."

A screen on the wall lit up, showing security camera footage of a Horde camp. The screen then cut to another camera showing people in Horde uniforms fighting each other. Three of them had no helmets. Catra realised those people were Adora and her friends. She didn't know if she should have been happy or angry because of this. Another person broke into the camp, standing on what looked to be vines, and the Horde soldiers became tangled and ensnared in them.

"This was brought to me by retreating soldiers who had their camp attacked by Adora," Shadow Weaver stated.

Catra was barely listening, instead staring at the bandages on Adora's hands, almost falling off as she hacked away at machines and tubes with that sword. She really was hurt. But why would she attack the Horde? Did transforming into the scary princess with the cape make her become violent, too? Catra blinked. She shouldn't feel sad. Adora had chosen to leave her for random people, so whatever happened to her wasn't any of Catra's business.

"Did you think you could hide the truth from me?" Shadow Weaver hissed, suddenly directly in front of Catra.

"Maybe she hit her head too hard," Catra suggested, more to herself than to Shadow Weaver. "And you know how Adora is. Sometimes she gets super obsessed with stuff and then forgets about it later. She's just confused."

"I see," said the woman. "Well, your mission is to bring her back."

 _Didn't Hordak tell us to forget about her?_ thought Catra, but stayed quiet.

"Okay," she said.

"Adora is going to Seaworthy. Make sure you find her no matter what."

"Okay," Catra repeated, turning around to leave.

"Not so fast. You won't be going alone. You'll be joined by force captain Scorpia."

Out of the shadows stepped a tall woman with large, red pincers, who would have been intimidating if her face hadn't formed a child-like smile as she yelled, "Kitty!"

"Huh?" said Catra, squirming when she was suddenly picked up by those pincers into a bone crushing hug. "What the fuck?" She jumped out of Scorpia's arms and backed away. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Scorpia will keep an eye on you," Shadow Weaver said.

"Yeah. Fine," Catra muttered, walking out. Scorpia followed. After walking far enough from the room Shadow Weaver was in, Catra stopped and leaned against the wall, looking Scorpia up and down. "Are those things real?" she asked.

Scorpia sighed, "Look, I know my boobs are big, but it's kinda disrespectful—"

"I meant your hands!" Catra growled.

"Of course they're real," Scorpia said. "I explained at force captain orientation!"

"There's a force captain _orientation_?"

Scorpia laughed. "You bet there is. Also, are your ears real?" She softly pinched one of Catra's ears and it flicked her pincers away

"No, they're fake," Catra said.

"But they look so realistic! And they can move on their own!" Scorpia gasped, not detecting the sarcasm in Catra's voice.

"Whatever. Now let's go get a skiff," Catra muttered.

"Wouldn't we need a boat?"

"We would if we were going to Seaworthy. But I've got something else in mind."

*

"This is cool and all, but I'm sleepy," Bow yawned, taking in the different scents, noises and people in the pub before him.

Glimmer, who also looked exhausted, sighed, "I know. But finding princesses that can join the rebellion is more important."

"You were the ones who decided to have a pillow fight at the sleepover," Adora said, making air quotations at 'pillow fight' and 'sleepover.' Despite sounding annoyed, Adora was grateful they had done that. It stopped her from thinking too much.

"True," said  Glimmer. "But we need to focus on—" Before she could finish her sentence, a chair flew past them and smashed into the wall, sending bits of wood spraying everywhere.

A fight had broken out between some people and it was getting violent as a giant, scaly man chucked more chairs around.

"Ha! You think that is enough to frighten the brave Captain Sea Hawk?" one man standing on a table yelled. The scaly man threw a punch at him and he ducked, the large fist hitting somebody else in the face instead. Then they attacked in self defense, making more and more people join in.

Sea Hawk wobbled as the scaly man picked up the table he was standing on and prepared to throw that, too. Glimmer teleported to Sea Hawk, grabbed him and then teleported to Bow and Adora. "Let's get outta here for now," she shouted over the noise, and they ran outside as glass cups and bottles shattered on the floor and more furniture was destroyed.

"While it was brave of you to save me, little girl, I could have taken them on by myself," Sea Hawk said once they had all taken a few deep breaths.

"Sure. And by the way, I'm not a little girl," Glimmer said.

"I never asked. How old are you?" Adora asked, pulling a small notebook from her pocket. Where the hell did she get that from? And how was she going to write in it?

"Seriously? I'm sixteen!"

Adora would have looked surprised if she wasn't so tired, but Sea Hawk's expression was over exaggerated to the point where it was comical. Adora wrote in the notebook, pencil clenched in her hand, much to Glimmer's annoyance.

"It's okay," Bow began. "When I first met Glimmer I thought she was five."

"It's not a big deal," mumbled the princess, before clearing her throat. "So, Captain Sea Hawk. Would you be able to take us to Salineas? We have money," she said.

"We do?" whispered Bow.

Sea Hawk was about to reply but the doors of the pub smashed open and another chair flew out. "Of course. I was heading there anyway," he squeaked instead.

*

"We're gonna be in so much trouble when Shadow Weaver finds out that we didn't go to Seaworthy," Scorpia said.

"She ain't gonna do shit," Catra replied, hopping out of the skiff. "And I'm not going to disobey Hordak, anyway. He told us not to search for—"

"Your girlfriend?"

Catra suppressed a growl. If she did that Scorpia would probably call her cute and crush her again. "No. She's not. Was that covered in force captain orientation, too?" she asked. On the way, Scorpia constantly reminded her about it and Catra had started to regret not going to that thing.

"As a matter of fact, it was," Scorpia admitted, oblivious to the irritated look on Catra's face, bringing three round Horde robots with her. "To be honest with you, I still think this is a good idea no matter what Shadow Weaver will say. If we can get Princess Entrapta to join the Horde she can fix our destroyed weapons; maybe even make them better. Still, are we going to _ask_ her to join or kidnap her?" she asked.

"Haven't planned that far yet." Catra glared.

She hated the idea of asking a princess for help, but Catra's research and reading led her to find out about someone who could create fearsome machines like it was nothing. The Princess of Dryl. Her kingdom was neutral so there was a chance she could be persuaded to join the Horde. It would definitely be more useful than going after Adora like Shadow Weaver had ordered her to.

Besides, Catra didn't want to see Adora. Just thinking about her made her feel angry... and infuriatingly, also a sense of longing. But She-Ra? Catra never wanted to see that monster again. She clenched her fists without noticing and accidentally pricked her claws into her palms before quickly retracting them.

Soon, they arrived at the gates of a dark, metallic castle. A crumbling sound was made beneath their feet right before they walked in and Catra pounced on Scorpia, knocking her backwards. In the place they were standing was a gap in the ground, sharp spikes pointing upwards. One of the round robots had fallen in and its two comrades stood still, looking down on its pierced metal body.

"Thanks," said Scorpia, sitting up.

"Whatever." Catra jumped over the gap and entered through the gate. Scorpia and the robots thudded in behind her.

"Is anyone in here?" Scorpia hollered, so loud that her voice echoed. For what felt like an eternity, they traipsed around identical looking hallways with occasional framed pictures on the wall.

"We've passed this one, like, five times!" Catra groaned, pointing at a picture of a small, black and white cat. "What even is that thing?"

Scorpia was about to explain but didn't know what to say. "I dunno," she simply said with a shrug.

Catra tried to sniff around for any scent of a human and walked into a kitchen. Three people stood inside, crowded around a very small object on a table. "Which one of you is the princess?" she asked. Two of the people jumped up in fright.

"We're just cooks. Please don't kill us," a man with pointy ears stammered as he turned to face them.

"Nice!" Scorpia leaned over them to look at what was on the table. "What'cha making?" she asked. Her excited look faded into confusion. "What is this?"

"Princess Entrapta only eats small food," one of the women explained. "This one's a frog cupcake."

"Forget that. Where is the princess?" Catra asked, also moving closer to look at the cupcake.

"We're not exactly sure. This castle is like a maze. You can try following one of her robots, though," the woman replied.

"Thank you!" Scorpia said, and was about to walk out when the other woman, the green haired one, blocked the doorway, holding a large kitchen knife in her trembling hand.

"You're from the Horde. Why would you want to see the princess unless you wanted to hurt her?" she asked.

"We just want to... negotiate," Scorpia said.

Catra knew that she wouldn't be able to convince them with such a lame excuse, despite it being the truth. "Scorpia, grab it!" she hissed, hoping the tall woman would understand.

Scorpia grabbed the knife blade first with her pincers and flung it to one side. "Sorry, pal," she said, pushing the woman away, grabbing Catra and bolting out. They ran for a few minutes until they were alone. "We lost them," Scorpia said between breaths.

"Yeah, but we lost another robot, too," Catra muttered.

They travelled at a slower pace until they saw a clunky grey robot drive past. "After it!" Scorpia yelled. A few hallways and secret doorways (that Scorpia kicked down) later, they ended up outside a metal door with a keypad. "Should we knock?" Scorpia asked. "Or carry out a brute force attack?"

"On the door or the keypad?" Catra asked. Scorpia thought for a moment and shrugged. Before Catra came to a decision, Scorpia pounded on the door.

"Hey, princess, open up! We just wanna talk!" she yelled.

"Idiot. That's not going to—"

The door opened, revealing a small woman, most likely the princess, with extremely long, purple hair in pigtails. Her face was obscured by a welding mask.

"Greetings," Entrapta said, her hair somehow lifting up the mask. Catra and Scorpia were silent and stepped inside, seeing as the princess had also stepped back. "It's been a while since I've seen—" Suddenly, her eyes lit up. "Oh!" she gasped once she took notice of the Horde robot behind them.

Entrapta ran a hand over its smooth surface. "Such a simple design, yet so aesthetically pleasing," she murmured.

"What—" Catra began, but flinched when the princess' hand like hair pulled her tail, while another pigtail poked Scorpia's pincers.

"Hybrids! Two of them!" she muttered. Catra was about to tell her not to call them that, but Entrapta pulled a surgical scalpel from her pocket.

_Why is everyone in this castle obsessed with knives?_

"Can I... check your insides?" Entrapta asked, moving the scalpel dangerously close to Catra.

To her relief, Scorpia spoke up. "Before you start amputating limbs and stuff, we need to ask you some questions."

Entrapta sat down in her own hair and put the scalpel away. "Go ahead."

The two force captains glanced at each other. Catra spoke first. "We're from the Horde. Aren't you scared or anything?" she asked.

"Scared?" Entrapta said slowly, like she had never said that word before. "That you'll kill me?" She thought some more. "Well, it would probably be painful and I'd never be able to finish all my work if I died, so it would be an inconvenience."

"Do you wanna join the Horde?" Scorpia asked next.

A bit of Entrapta's hair moved up to stroke her chin in a thoughtful manner. "I probably don't have a choice, no matter what I want," she explained. "Why would you want me to join? I don't really do much."

"Some psycho princess destroyed lots of our weapons, and we can't make new ones and repair the old ones fast enough. You're supposed to be pretty good at those kinds of things," said Catra.

"Thanks," Entrapta said, looking away, twisting her hair in her hands before laughing awkwardly. "Hehe."

"If you join the Horde and help us, we'll let you do all your weird robot stuff. And we'll protect your kingdom," Catra added.

"From what?" Entrapta asked, glancing back at the two. "The psychopath princess? Please, tell me more." She brought out a notebook and a pen.

Catra sighed, looking at Scorpia. "Oh! I get to talk now!" she exclaimed and clapped her pincers together. "I never got to see her in person, but according to Catra and a few survivors of the attack, this princess is giant! Bigger than me! And she had a giant sword and immobilised our tanks in one hit!"

Catra sighed again, much more deeply this time. Scorpia sounded too excited describing what happened. It was probably unintentional, but it was still annoying.

On the day they attacked that random village, Catra, not believing her eyes, watched the monster princess fade and shrink into Adora.

Did Adora know what that monster was doing? If she did, was she in control? Did she even want to stop killing?

_No. I bet she knew what she was doing. And she didn't want to stop. She just doesn't care._

_She doesn't care about anyone_

_She doesn't care about me._

Whenever Adora caught Shadow Weaver hurting a crying Catra, she would always jump between them. Shadow Weaver would then forget about Catra and take Adora away — probably bribing her to ignore what she was doing to Catra. Adora usually came back a day later, denying that Catra was ever hurt. And Catra never had proof because Shadow Weaver's red lightning left almost no traces behind.

She gave up trying to convince Adora long ago but couldn't bring herself to hate her. Adora was all she had. And sometimes, her denial of the events that occured made Catra wonder if it was all just in her head. Even so, on the rare times Shadow Weaver lost control and zapped Catra in front of Adora, Adora still defended her. Was all of it some sick game to her? Pretending to help Catra and then feigning ignorance like nothing happened?

If Adora could do that, then she definitely wouldn't mind killing a few anonymous soldiers who were in the group she'd betrayed in only a few hours.

"That princess is an animal," Catra roughly spoke up, silencing Scorpia. "And it needs to be put down before it kills any more people."

"What she means is: we need your help so we can bring order to Etheria," Scorpia translated.

Entrapta thought for a while. "Alright. This sounds interesting. I'll join your organisation. As long as I get to bring my robots," she said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for this chapter to come out. I didn't include the part at the sea gate because it'd be identical to the show except that Catra wouldn't be there to see She-Ra.


	9. I'm turning my back on you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has some hallucinations, Glimmer gets mad at her and Shadow Weaver's shadow tries to win her back.

"Moping around isn't going to help the rebellion," Bow said to Glimmer and Adora, who were leaning against a wall in the castle hallway and staring dejectedly at the floor.

"I can't believe this," Glimmer muttered as if she hadn't even heard him, kicking the ground. "Why would Princess Entrapta give up her kingdom to the Horde? Why would she join them?" It was around the fifth time she'd asked that.

"I don't know," Bow sighed, patting her on the shoulder. "Maybe she didn't have a choice. But look at the bright side. We recruited two princesses in two days, your mum sent a squad out to help rebuild Thaymor, and we're all okay!"

" _Okay_? Nah. But we'll deal with that problem later. We need a break." Glimmer said. "Especially you." She nodded at Adora.

"Huh?" Adora asked. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," Bow interrupted. "I know your injuries are getting better, but you should give yourself a break. Sleeping late, getting up early and transforming into a giant lady these last two days isn't helping."

"Yeah," Glimmer added. "You need to relax."

"I've never relaxed in my life," Adora said like it was a good thing. Bow and Glimmer stared at her for an uncomfortably long period of time. "What?"

"That's it. Today is a day off," Glimmer declared.

"But—"

"No buts."

"You sound like your mum," Bow commented and Glimmer froze.

"What? No, I don't!" she replied.

"You should respect her more," Adora spoke up.

"I would if she respected _me_!" Glimmer said.

Adora didn't reply to that. Why would Queen Angella need to respect Glimmer?

"How about we all take a nap together!" Bow suggested, raising his arms and breaking the silence between the pair.

"Ugh." Glimmer rolled her eyes. "We've been sleeping together for the past few days! And you always snore!"

"Fine. We can go out and show Adora some animals!" Bow said. "You'll like it a lot." He nodded at Adora.

"Are we going to see more horses?" she asked.

"Uh... No. We're going to see even better things!"

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. "Adora? How many animals do you know?" she asked hesitantly.

"Uh... Not sure. Horses, mice, sheep, goats."

"I'm honestly concerned," Glimmer said.

"Oh. Well, let's go, shall we?" Bow said awkwardly, patting Adora and Glimmer on their shoulders. Soon, they were outside and Bow was pointing at a tree. "Can you see the birds?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. I've seen those things before," Adora answered

"And that worm?" Bow pointed at the soil near the tree. Adora kneeled down and stared at it for a few moments.

"It doesn't have eyes... Or arms. Or legs. It doesn't even have a mouth!" she finally muttered, shuddering at the pink creature writhing in the soil. "And it's just crawling around... unaware of the whole world? That's so sad."

Glimmer chuckled at that.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Suddenly, Bow's face lit up and he practically jumped into the air. "I just remembered! Follow me!" He took Adora's hand and began pulling her somewhere, though she seemed to be intensely focused on a tree. Glimmer teleported after them.

"Are you going to show her the kittens?" Glimmer asked, but was left behind as Bow kept running. She teleported ahead of him. "That's not a very—"

"Yep!" Bow yelled as he passed her. A few minutes later they reached a fence. Bow hopped over it and the others did the same. "I'm here!" he said, making kissing sounds, and the bushes rustled as a large cat poked its head out of one of them, sniffing.

"Is that a—" Adora began but was silenced by Glimmer squeezing her forearm. "Is that a horse?" she whispered.

Glimmer visibly cringed. "No," she answered, also whispering.

Bow had a small, furry thing wriggling in his hands. "Adora, let me introduce you to Orange," he said, handing a ginger kitten to her.

She held it. Even through the bandages she could feel its warmth, and rubbed her cheek against the soft fur, but quickly handed Orange back to Bow since it was trying to escape — almost like how Catra acted whenever Adora tried to hug her.

_Wait a minute._

"What's this called?" she asked Bow.

"It's a cat. A baby cat."

"Oh."

Glimmer rolled her eyes. "I tried to tell you, Bow. This isn't a good idea after what happened," she hissed.

"What?" Bow asked, confused, with an innocent look on his face.

"We literally fought that weird cat girl a few days ago! Adora might—"

"That _weird cat girl_ is my friend," Adora interrupted. " _Was_ ," she corrected, uncomfortable now that Bow and Glimmer were staring at her. "She saw everything."

_And she hates me. And I deserve it._

Bow plopped Orange back into the bushes with its siblings and dusted his hands off. "Alright. Maybe we should take that nap, like I wanted to," he suggested.

"Fine. You win," Glimmer sighed and began walking back to the castle.

*

"I thought we were going to take a nap!" Glimmer shouted over the sounds of metal hitting metal and fists hitting faces.

"Me too!" Bow replied.

Somehow, Adora had begun sparring with a few guards in training outside the castle. They, at first, tried to make her leave, but she was adamant on staying.

"She was supposed to take a break! What if she gets hurt?" Glimmer asked. Just as she said that, Adora was kicked in the stomach and soared backwards before skidding to a stop on the ground. "Shit!" Glimmer yelled, then slapped her hands over her mouth once Bow's head snapped in her direction. Glimmer teleported to Adora's side and propped her up. "Are you okay?" she asked.

There was a look of fear in Adora's eyes when she opened them. "I saw her— I saw Shadow Weaver," she muttered, weakly pointing at a wall. Glimmer looked but there was nothing there.

"No more action for today," Glimmer said. "You need to sleep!"

"But Shadow Weaver's dangerous!"

"Who the hell is Shadow Weaver?"Glimmer grumbled before helping Adora stand. "It doesn't matter. You're going to rest. Now." She glanced at Bow, who was a few metres away, and nodded at him. He nodded back, and then Glimmer teleported Adora and herself into the castle.

"I don't want to—"

"I don't care if you want it or not; you need this! Now stop acting like a hyperactive five year old!" Glimmer yelled. It was quiet for a moment and Glimmer gripped the bridge of her nose with her thumb and index finger. "Look, sorry for getting mad at you, but I'm tired of seeing you acting like you're fine. So I'll ask again. Are you okay?" she said.

Adora lifted the hem of her t-shirt a few centimeters to check. There was a red mark on her side. "It's not too bad." Then she slumped to the floor, leaning her back against her bed, too exhausted to even bother fidgeting with her hands or move her legs like usual. Glimmer sat down and shuffled to sit beside her.

"Are you sure about that?"

There was a nod.

"Okay. Whoever this Shadow Weaver is, it was probably just your mind playing tricks on you. Close your eyes and relax," Glimmer prompted.

Adora shut her eyes and tried to stay still, and without realising, slipped into unconsciousness.

When she opened her eyes, she didn't know how long she'd been asleep. It was nice, though, that she'd been too tired to have the usual nightmares and completely blacked out. Glimmer was also asleep, leaning her head on Adora's shoulder — her good one, fortunately — and Adora had been leaning her cheek on Glimmer's head.

Was this allowed in Bright Moon? Whatever. It felt nice.

But the shadow on the wall like an ink stain was there, unnaturally dark, watching her. She frantically sat up and grabbed the sword from where it was propped up against the wall and held it in front of her to intimidate the shadow. It didn't work. Slowly, she was being engulfed in darkness and began to swing the sword wildly. "Go away!" Adora yelled desperately. "Just leave me alone!"

In an instant,the shadows disappeared, revealing Glimmer, who was now awake, with her hands in the air. "Calm down!" she yelled back. "Put the sword down and we can talk."

With a clang, the sword hit the ground. "What's there to talk about? Shadow Weaver was here," cried Adora, gesturing to the wall.

Glimmer shook her head. "You're talking about that again? Maybe you were still half-asleep?" she suggested.

"I know what I saw. Stop treating me like I've gone crazy!"

"I'm not! I just didn't see any shadows!"

"Well, maybe you should pay more attention!"

" _I_ should pay more attention?! Speak for yourself! I bet you can't remember the alphabet, if you even know what that is!"

Adora clenched her fists, ignoring the small pang in her palms, but kept quiet, not wanting to say something she would regret. Oddly enough, she was hurt by what Glimmer said. A moment later, she mentally berated herself.

_Stupid. Don't get upset over that. She doesn't know anything about you. Princesses don't know anything._

But those thoughts made her feel a pang of regret. Shaking her head, she pushed the feeling away. Adora turned and stormed out of the room, not seeing the remorseful look on Glimmer's face, and thankfully, Glimmer didn't teleport after her.

On the way outside she bumped into Bow, who grinned and told her he was glad she had woken up, and then asked where Glimmer was. Adora ignored him and kept walking. Bow seemed confused but went to see how Glimmer was doing. A few seconds later, he screamed and ran out the room.

"Adora! We have to go!" he cried, rushing past her.

"Why? What happened?" she asked and began following him, suddenly worried.

"I think I saw Shadow Weaver!"

"Where's Glimmer?"

"She'll be fine! Shadow Weaver's coming after _you_!"

Adora stopped. "If Glimmer was fine she'd teleport to us," she argued. "Bow, be honest! What happened to her?"

"Uh..."

"And I've never even told you about Shadow Weaver. How do you know her?"

Now that Adora was scrutinising Bow, she noticed that the edges of his form were... unfocused. Blurry. Moving. Before her very eyes, Bow became a dark figure that no light could brighten. The shadow creature that had taken form in Bow's place hissed at Adora and faded away.

Despite it being light outside, it was strangely dark inside the hallway of the castle. Adora dashed down the hallway and ran into her room, the door slamming behind her. Glimmer and Bow were on the floor, unconscious, while a person she knew all too well towered over them. Before she could get to them, Shadow Weaver — or the shadow of Shadow Weaver — blocked the way with an impenetrable wall of darkness. She laughed a laugh that was both familiar yet unrecognisable to Adora.

"You've made a grave mistake, Adora," the woman's voice boomed.

"What are talking about?"

"Joining the rebellion, of course! But I forgive you; I always do. I know you're just confused." Shadow Weaver's tendrils of darkness seemed to be ghosting all over Adora. She shuddered, but couldn't help feeling... relieved. Shadow Weaver was right. She always forgave her in the end. "Come back to the Fright Zone and I'll repair you. I'll make you forget all of this ever happened."

Adora froze. She'd heard that phrase before. Many times. But when? Why did it sound so ominous?

"No," she said weakly. "I'm not leaving my—" Adora stopped herself.

_Friends?_

"The Horde is a danger to Etheria!" she continued, ignoring what she said before and swatting the shadows near her, though to her dismay, her hand simply went through them.

Shadow Weaver laughed again, a loud, almost hysterical laugh as if she'd heard the funniest joke in the world, the sound echoing in the dark room. "Really?" she asked once she'd calmed down. "The only deaths recently were Horde soldiers who were killed by _She-Ra_!"

"What about Thaymor? Do you know how many people died when the Horde attacked?" Adora growled.

Shadow Weaver tutted, a smoky hand cupping the girl's cheek, almost going through it. She stared into Adora's eyes, the red gem on her head casting a faint light on everything. "If you hadn't been _weak_ enough to get captured, you wouldn't be there in the first place. We thought they were going to hurt you so we had no choice but to be violent," she explained smugly.

Adora fell to her knees, staring blankly at the floor.

_Breathe._

_Don't stop._

It was getting difficult to hold her tears back.

"If you truly regret your actions, then you will return to the Fright Zone so I can fix you! Things will go back to how they were!" Shadow Weaver boomed. "Where is the ruthless warrior I taught who knows how to kill? Corrupted! Corrupted by princesses! They don't care about you; they just want to _use_ you for your powers!"

Adora didn't have much energy left, but Shadow Weaver's words enraged her and she stood up, wiping her tears away. "Stop manipulating me! I have feelings. I'm not a ruthless warrior," she forced herself to say. "That's just what you want me to be. That's what you want me to _think_ I am! But I won't fall for it. The princesses have been kind to me and that's more than you've ever done. And you made me argue with my friend. You hurt my friends. So you're gonna pay," she said.

Shadow Weaver recoiled as if she'd been slapped by Adora's words. "You will regret this," she hissed before fading away. It was light once again.

"I'm sorry for not believing you!" a voice cried. It was Glimmer's. She got up and wrapped her arms around Adora, who froze for a second but placed a hand on Glimmer's back.

"It's okay," Adora said. "That's what Shadow Weaver does. She wanted me to get angry at you so I could go back to her."

"I don't know who Shadow Weaver is, but she was freaky! I'm glad we're okay, though!" Bow sighed, also hugging Adora. She'd never been hugged by two people at the same time, but it was nice.

"Did she hurt you?" Glimmer asked.

Adora shook her head. "Did she do anything to you two?" she asked.

"I think she made us sleep, but I feel fine," Bow answered, yawning. "I'm still tired, though." Glimmer and Adora agreed. All three of them helped to put the large blanket on the floor and took a pillow each before flopping down. Soon, they were asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda disappointing since it took so long for me to write it, but I've been getting back home from school really late these last two weeks. I hope the next chapter can be written more quickly.


	10. Princess Prom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Entrapta is very dedicated to her role, Adora attacks Catra and almost throws hands with a twelve year old.

"Honestly, I'm surprised Shadow Weaver hasn't murdered me yet," Catra muttered, pacing around the room.

"Same," replied Scorpia, sitting on a bed. "She was super mad at you for disobeying her, but then you were all like, ' _What are you gonna do? Tell Hordak?_ ' It was freaking awesome."

Catra rolled her eyes. Somehow, Scorpia managed to get excited by almost everything Catra did. It was strange to have someone admire her so much, and secretly, she often wondered what it would take to make Scorpia get angry at her — if it was even possible But she held a begrudging appreciation towards Scorpia for saving her from a beating, even though she wasn't aware of it. If Catra had been alone when she got back to the Fright Zone and left Entrapta with the damaged equipment, Shadow Weaver definitely would have tried to hurt her. Scorpia, however, had followed her everywhere, talking excitedly about the events that occurred that day, and Shadow Weaver left her alone. Catra hadn't been hurt by her and it was two days after Entrapta had been recruited.

"Yesterday, Shadow Weaver failed to get Adora back. She said if I didn't go after her she'd find a way to demote me," Catra mused. "I could try to tell Hordak that Shadow Weaver's not listening to him, but that's risky 'cause I don't have much physical proof, and Shadow Weaver would definitely burn me alive if she found out I snitched on her. So I guess I got no choice." Catra didn't want to capture Adora or even see her, but doing so was the safest option. She was not going to be a cadet again. She would rather die than let Shadow Weaver humiliate her like that.

"Preach," Scorpia said.

"We recruited Entrapta but I need to do more for Hordak to be impressed enough to promote me and make me the new Shadow Weaver. How am I gonna go about doing this?"

"You're asking me for help?" Scorpia gasped.

"Not really. I was just venting. But I hate to admit that you're the only person I can slightly trust in this damn shithole," Catra grumbled.

"'Cause we're best friends."

"Whatever. Any ideas?"

"We might have an opportunity at the All-Princess Ball. Every princess is gonna be there!"

Catra hopped on to the bed and grabbed something out of Scorpia's pincers. An invitation. "How the hell did you get this?" she asked.

"It was sent to me; I'm a Princess."

Catra jumped back two metres in less than a second. "What the fuck? _You're_ a _P_ _rincess_?" she asked as she returned to her original position.

"Yeah. That's what I said." Scorpia then went on to talk about her life before her family joined the Horde. "I'm surprised you didn't know. I thought everyone did. It was—"

"—Covered in force captain orientation. I get it," Catra sighed, finishing Scorpia's sentence. "So you're going there?"

"Oh, _hell_ no," Scorpia said. "The princesses didn't like my family, even before we joined the Horde. I don't fit in. I don't even know why!"

Catra glanced at Scorpia's pincers before sighing. "So? That's exactly why you should go! How dare they disrespect you because you aren't like them, and then run away and leave you to save some random people when they've been ignoring your suffering their whole life!" she ranted, more to herself than to Scorpia, but by the end of her speech, Scorpia was in tears.

"Woah. You just described my whole life in words." She grabbed Catra and squeezed her tightly. " Okay. The Super Pal Duo is going to prom!"

"Put me down and we can start making a plan," Catra grumbled.

"Is Entrapta coming with us? She was invited, too," Scorpia said, releasing Catra, who thought to herself. Entrapta would be useful if they found a way to utilise her, but she was unpredictable and judging by her occasional bouts of maniacal laughter, Entrapta was even crazier than Adora.

_Don't think about her, dumbass._

"I'll ask her," Catra sighed, and the next few hours were spent setting up their plan and getting dressed for the event. Entrapta refused to change into something else, which was odd, since her clothes were covered in dirt and fuel from fixing the damaged parts the Horde could salvage, while also tinkering with some robots.

"Can you at least wash your outfit before you wear it to the Ball?" Scorpia asked her.

Entrapta reluctantly agreed, but seemed happy overall, as she would get to watch some "social experiments", or whatever she called them, and carry out an investigation on the "Psychopath Princess."

*

"I am so ready for this ball," Adora said, trying not to shiver while she and Glimmer got closer to Princess Frosta's castle. Bow was absent as he would be going with Perfuma. But Adora had more important things on her mind. Why was it called a ball? Was there going to be a giant ball?

Glimmer sighed. "You know, when I advised you to prepare, I didn't mean prepare for a _war_."

"I can't make any mistakes," Adora stated a little too seriously. Glimmer looked as if she wanted to say something to reassure her but was afraid to speak up. "Try testing me," Adora said, snapping the Princess back to the present.

"What is the exact age of Princess Frosta?" Glimmer asked, knowing that the Princess of the Kingdom of Snows would get irritated about that subject if people approached it in the wrong way — actually, in any way, really.

Adora thought for a moment, the previously confident look on her face fading. "I don't know. Why don't I know this?" she finally whispered, looking stricken, clenching her fists before suddenly tensing in pain. The bandages had come off for the event and her palms still hurt if she grabbed things too tightly. She wasn't complaining, though. The medicine at Bright Moon was much better than in the Horde and she was healing quickly.

"Hey, it's alright," Glimmer said, wrapping an arm around Adora's waist.

"Thanks, Glimmer. Can you tell me how old Princess Frosta is, now?"

Glimmer told her.

"What?!"

"Don't scream so loud!" Glimmer hissed.

They dropped off Adora's sword to a guard, who was storing everyone's weapons in a room because the rules did not allow them to come in unless they were empty handed. Adora didn't even want to bring the sword, fearing it would do more harm than good, but Glimmer forced her to take it with her just in case something went wrong on the way to the Kingdom of Snows and back.

"Do I still look all mangled up?" Adora asked about her wounds.

Glimmer looked her up and down. "You're fine. No one will notice the bite marks unless they get really close," she said. "Now, let's go in." So they did.

Somehow, it was even colder inside than it was outside. Music from a live band hovered in the air, along with the sounds of many conversations. After greeting Princess Frosta with the proper etiquette, of course, the pair stood awkwardly by themselves, staring at nothing, though Adora perked up when she saw Bow and Perfuma arrive. "Wow," she gasped.

Glimmer groaned, "They have matching outfits? That's our best friend thing!" Then a familiar voice spoke from behind her.

"Hey, guys, I'm here, too. Don't make a big deal—"

"Mermista!" Glimmer cried. Adora froze once she saw Mermista, who also looked fabulous, and wasn't able to say anything to acknowledge her.

"Ugh, I just said don't make a big—"

Then Bow laughed at something Perfuma said and Glimmer's attention was on them again. "They're making their own inside jokes?" she gasped. "Is Perfuma his new best friend, now?" she grumbled.

"Drama. Not gonna get involved in that," Mermista sighed, taking a step back. Adora was still frozen. To make things more painfully awkward, Sea Hawk waltzed in, singing one of his terrible songs before wrapping an arm around Mermista, who shut her eyes in shame.

"So, is Sea Hawk your plus one?" Adora asked quietly, finally moving again.

"No. He's just my ride," Mermista corrected, her face warming up. " _Just_ my ride."

"In more ways than one," Sea Hawk added, winking.

"Ugh, seriously?" Mermista groaned, becoming red. "I'm totally throwing you into a frozen lake to watch you freeze to death." She grabbed Sea Hawk's ear and dragged him away in front of everyone.

It took a few seconds for Glimmer to understand what Sea Hawk meant. "Holy shit!" she screamed, accidentally drawing attention to herself.

"I don't understand," said Adora.

Bow and Perfuma started talking to them and Glimmer still acted strange. Once they left, Adora decided to attempt to convince Princess Frosta to join the rebellion and a few minutes later she met Glimmer on the balcony overlooking the dance floor, slumping down on a sofa. "It didn't work," she sighed. Glimmer was silent, watching Bow. "Glimmer, why are you so upset?" Adora asked.

"I'm not!" Glimmer said indignantly, finally tearing her gaze away from Bow. "It's just that... I didn't have many friends. It was always me and Bow. But now..."

Adora put a hand on Glimmer's shoulder blade in an attempt to comfort her and quickly jerked it back when she felt something fluffy. Glimmer had wings! Wings like her mother's, except much smaller. Adora wondered if they would taste like chicken wings. Of course, she would never actually eat Glimmer's wings, but her mind sometimes had an unfortunate habit of thinking up ridiculous thoughts. She brushed her ideas aside and tried to focus on making the Princess feel better.

"You know Bow isn't the type of person who would leave his friends behind. And neither am—" she stopped, voice leaving her. The door of the castle was opening to let in more people and among them Adora spotted a fluffy mane. It reminded her of Catra.

Another person that stood out was a tall woman with short, white hair and... lobster hands? Adora had seen a drawing of lobsters on the invitation — in the etiquette for eating part. Bow was the one who told her a lobster was a food and also an animal. Yummy.

That pleasant thought flew away and panic settled in her body once she fully realised that the first person _was_ Catra, and it was made even worse because of the incident with Shadow Weaver yesterday. "What if she's planning something bad?" she murmured. Glimmer asked if she was alright, but she barely heard. The last time she'd seen Catra was in the middle of a fire with people running, screaming or dying all around her. Adora didn't want to see that happen in the Kingdom of Snows — or anywhere else, for that matter. She grabbed Glimmer with a sudden intensity. "Glimmer, you have to teleport us to Princess Frosta! I saw someone from the Horde!"

"Okay!" Glimmer shrugged, and the two of them stood before Frosta in an instant.

"Revered Hostess, people from the Horde are here! You can't let them stay," Adora warned.

"If they're here," Frosta began seriously, "it means they were invited because they're Princesses. And the rules state that all Princesses, and their chosen guests, are welcome."

"But they could be up to something! People could die! You have to—"

"Enough!" Frosta stood up with a scowl. "You look at me and see a _child_. I've worked too hard to gain respect only to throw it away because you _think_ they're up to something. For centuries, this ball has been neutral ground. I will not dishonour that legacy."

Adora clenched her teeth together, her muscles taut and fists clenched. Glimmer teleported her away before Adora said something that would get her banned for life — if she wasn't executed. Did Frosta execute people? Maybe, since she was such a fan of the old traditions.

"You go after lobster lady. I'll follow Catra," Adora finally spoke, glaring hard at the ground. Glimmer nodded and the two went in separate ways.

Adora's stalking session seemed to be going well for a few minutes until she lost Catra in a crowd and couldn't find her again. She decided she'd have to ask someone if they'd seen her. Scanning the area, she saw a short, strangely dressed woman with purple hair by herself, who appeared to be watching everything. Adora tapped her on the shoulder and asked if she'd seen a girl with cat ears anywhere.

"The mad Princess," the woman muttered after turning around to face her. Her long hair somehow moved on its own to lift her goggles up and expose her eyes, which seemed to recognise Adora. "Is this what 'fear' feels like?" she asked herself. "I love it!"

"Have you seen a girl with cat ears anywhere?" Adora repeated.

"You mean Catra?"

"Yes! Have you seen her?"

The woman quickly hid her eyes back in her goggles and turned away. "Ha! No! Catra _who_? I don't know her. Never met her, never seen her, never heard of her," she rambled, hair wrapping around itself while she nervously twisted her hands together.

"Listen, if you know her, you should tell me. She's from the Horde, and the Horde is dangerous," Adora said, walking around the woman to stand in front of her again. "What's your name?"

"I don't think I can tell you that. It wasn't on the script," the woman answered. "But I also can't tell you because you're dangerous. To be completely honest, this is exhilarating! I'm talking to an actual killer!"

" _What_?" Adora felt a stab of an unknown emotion in her heart. Shock? Guilt? Anger?

"You killed— You killed so many tanks and so many robots. Do you know how much good metal, wires and codes were wasted that day? Oh, and some soldiers died, too. Did you know that one soldier's remains didn't even look human anymore? Absolutely fascinating."

"Is that all you care about?" Adora growled, clenching her fists and ignoring the pain. The woman started to fidget with her hair again. "Innocent people died because of the Horde!" Adora snapped and would have continued to shout if she hadn't seen the tip of a tail from the balcony upstairs. "I'm going," she grumbled, leaving the woman since she didn't seem very dangerous, even if she did know about Catra and the Horde.

But before Adora could head upstairs, the woman stepped in front of her. "You can't go up there!" she stated.

"Why not?"

"Judging from the conditions of the corpses, you, or shall I say, that thing you transformed into, is very violent. Catra gave me tiny food. In return, I agreed to stand here and talk to you."

" _What_? I'm not going to hurt her! Besides, I thought you didn't know Catra!"

"Oh, yeah! My bad. Ahem. Catra _who_?"

Just then, Frosta announced the first dance of the night.

"It's okay, Entrapta," Catra called from above before hopping down beside them. Adora took a step back, unsure if she was afraid or just surprised.

"Haha! I'm going to get some food," Entrapta said and left the dance floor, leaving the two girls alone.

Catra looked around in an overly exaggerated way before smiling and holding out a hand. Adora, surrounded by other couples, forced herself to take it and glared at Catra. Then the dance began.

"I don't know about you, but I'm having a blast," Catra chuckled as they circled each other. Adora almost couldn't believe what was happening; hearing Catra's voice again was surreal. Was this some sort of weird nightmare?

"Look, I don't know what you're planning, but it's not gonna work," she warned.

"Really? You sure about that?"

Then they switched partners and Adora held a teary Glimmer, who cried about arguing with Bow and losing the lobster lady. Perfuma, who came next, also said that Bow disappeared after going to get his cummerbund.

 _What the hell is a cummerbund?_ thought Adora.

Glimmer returned and for a brief moment the two questioned where Bow was, since even Perfuma hadn't seen him in a while.

Catra also came back and was even closer than before, her hair tickling Adora's neck, a warm ear brushing against her head. "Maybe my plan won't work," Catra pondered, turning her head to face Adora, who shivered once the soft, almost invisible fur on Catra's face rubbed her cheek. "But maybe it already has," she concluded ominously, dipping Adora and pulling her back up. "Say, where's your friend gone off to? What was his name? Oh. Bow? It'd be a shame if something happened to him."

Any feelings that Adora hadn't let go of in the past few days seemed to explode out — the self loathing; the guilt; the anger towards the Horde, to Catra, to Shadow Weaver; the longing — once she heard Catra say that with such a smug voice. In a second, Adora tackled Catra to the floor and punched her face before proceeding to raise her into the air. "Catra!" she roared. "If you hurt him, I swear on Etheria I'll—"

"What? Murder me? Like what you did to those Horde soldiers? Your own people? You fucking _traitor_ ," Catra gloated, grinning despite the blood dripping from her nose.

"Princess Adora!" Frosta yelled, trapping the girl in a prison of ice, setting Catra free. "As the hostess, I hereby revoke your invitation!" If she looked angry before, she was absolutely furious at the sight in front of her. "You will leave my Kingdom and never, ever—"

Everything rumbled and something exploded, stopping Frosta in her tracks, and bits of the ceiling began to fall. Screams were heard as people started to flee. Glimmer nodded at Adora and teleported away — probably to look for Bow.

"Catra! Is this some kind of game to you?" Adora shouted, pounding a fist on the ice.

Catra who was about to leave, turned back and kneeled down to face her. "It's never been a game to me! And what about you? You were always toying with me! Now you know how it feels!" she yelled.

"What? What are you talking about?" Adora asked, confused, the glare disappearing from her face. "Catra, why do you always talk about me like I hated you?"

Catra looked shocked for the first time that night. "You're still playing dumb? At least have the decency to admit how sick in the head you are! Fuck you!" Then she left just as one of the large pillars crashed down on Adora's prison. Thankfully, Adora desperately slammed her shoulder into one of the walls of ice and rolled free before she was crushed.

"Get back here!" she yelled, chasing Catra down a hallway. At the end of it, pieces of fallen ice began to rise again thanks to Frosta's magic and Catra hopped onto one. Adora did the same. Soon, they reached a flat surface high up, with nowhere to run to.

Adora jumped at Catra but she was ready this time and dodged every attack, though unfortunately, Catra slipped on the ice when trying to counter attack and flew off the edge. Or she would have, if Adora hadn't grabbed her and pulled her back. For a brief moment, they stared at each other in something that resembled surprise. Catra especially. They were close. So close that they could kiss. No. Adora was an enemy. Not just hers, but an enemy to the Horde, too. A traitor. Catra was about to say something mean but the ice below them cracked and they plummeted to a presumably snowy death. Or they would have, if Adora didn't stab her hair pin into the wall of ice and slowed their fall to a stop, holding on to Catra.

"Catra, don't let go! I can get us out of this!" Adora cried, gritting her teeth in pain as the metal cut into her hand and blood dripped down her wrist.

"I don't want you to," Catra growled before slipping out of Adora's grasp and falling into the fog. Then a flying Horde ship rose into the air. Catra was inside, laughing with Lobster Lady, who had managed to get her claws on Adora's sword, while Entrapta, Lonnie and Kyle stood back. But all Adora could care about was Bow and Glimmer, tied up and unconscious. Then they were gone.

Adora hung there for a few minutes, the pain increasing in her arm and hand. How long she could stay hanging? There was no way of escape. Was she going to die? Falling to her death? Without saving her friends? She shut her eyes in an attempt to block everything out.

"Hello?" a voice called from above. It was Perfuma, looking down from the edge. "Adora! Hang in there!" Slowly, vines began to sprout from the ground, many, many metres below Adora. It crawled along the wall of ice until it reached Perfuma, who pulled it out of the ground from its roots. "Sorry, it's too cold for me to make anything stronger. But this should work as a rope!" she explained.

Adora grabbed the vines and climbed, Perfuma also helping to pull her up. "Thanks," she said once she was standing. "You saved my life. How did you find me?"

"I was looking for Bow and I saw that Horde ship fly over here," Perfuma replied. "Is he...?" she began.

"Yeah. They took him. And Glimmer," Adora said, trying to stay composed, though she became so quiet at the last few words that she wasn't even sure if Perfuma heard her.

"What about you? You're bleeding—"

"I'll be fine. Let's go inside."

It was silent in the ballroom, save for Frosta talking to the remaining guests to calm them down, and once they trudged away, Adora headed towards Frosta, but Perfuma grabbed her arm, sensing her anger. "Don't do anything reckless," she warned.

Adora stood directly in front of Frosta now. "Bow and Princess Glimmer were captured by the attackers from the Horde," she said with enough ice in her voice to create another ice castle.

"I have made a foolish mistake," Frosta stated solemnly. "But if you want revenge, you should settle it now."

Adora blinked. That wasn't the reply she expected. Her glare returned. "I— I don't want revenge. I just wanted to let you know. Hope you're happy," she snapped, turning her back and leaving, not caring if she made Frosta angry.

Outside, Adora saw Perfuma talking to Sea Hawk and Mermista. They stopped, however, once they spotted her. She nodded at them and stayed quiet, lacking the desire to say anything. Maybe it was the cold but she felt numb. Bow and Glimmer were gone. Queen Angella would kill her with sparkles. But she couldn't cry yet. It was kind of difficult to do so when for so long it had been crammed into her child mind that crying was a sign of weakness.

"Adora, please accept our offer to take you back to Bright Moon," Sea Hawk said, looking a bit anxious as he combed his moustache.

"I know the way back. You go home. Well, wherever you live. Besides, you should be dead. Mermista said she was going to kill you," Adora muttered, not looking at him. The group glanced at each other. Apparently she had taken Mermista's words seriously. 

"Ah," Sea Hawk sighed with a blush on his face, though it could have just been the cold. "Mermista and I... made up, you could say. But enough about me, you can't go on such a desolate journey by yourself!"

"Listen, kid," Mermista also began, nudging Sea Hawk to one side. "Our night's already been, like, suuuper fucked up by this whole situation, so taking you home isn't going to make things worse. We'll help you explain everything to Glimmer's mum."

"Why are you being so nice?" Adora asked. "Do you need something?"

Mermista rolled her eyes. "Ugh, no. Don't act so surprised," she sighed. "You and your friends have done a lot for us. I just wanna make sure you get home safe because we've got a busy day tomorrow."

"What do you mean?"

"We're saving our friends," Perfuma declared. "That's what the Princess Alliance does!'


	11. Bitter taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Princess Alliance sets off on a dangerous mission.

"Fucking bitch!" Catra shouted, kicking a scrap of metal as she paced around in the garage.

"Be careful! I was going to use that!" Entrapta, who was crouched near a robot, said, grabbing the metal and holding it close.

"Shadow Weaver is such a fucking snake!" Catra continued as if she hadn't heard her.

"I wouldn't call her that. Snakes don't have limbs," Entrapta corrected. She picked up her recorder and spoke into it. "It appears that Catra is unable to comprehend basic biology."

"Shut it, nerd!"

"Catra also forgot what my name is."

Scorpia sat on a bench nearby. "What happened?" she asked, waiting to hear the news.

"She took all the credit for kidnapping the Princess when I did all the work!"

"Hey, we helped, too," Scorpia said. "Well, I don't really know what Entrapta did, but I set up the bombs."

"I _did_ contribute! I distracted that princess while you planted the heat bombs," Entrapta spoke up, shutting a hatch on the robot's surface. "And because of that I was unable to focus on other social experiments."

"Sorry, pal," Scorpia sighed, patting Entrapta on the head.

"Pal?"

"A friend, basically."

"You're implying that we share a bond?" Entrapta looked puzzled.

"It sounds weird when you say it like that, but yeah."

Entrapta took out her recorder again. "Someone has referred to me as their friend for the first time. This could lead to more potential with my social experiments!" She then proceeded to laugh maniacally.

Catra was freaked out, but Scorpia was hyping Entrapta up by dancing merrily with her. It was a comical sight, the large Scorpia hopping about with the small Entrapta, but she was too angry to laugh.

"Join the party, Catra!" Scorpia called. Catra stared for a moment then turned away. She didn't have time for friends.

*

"The plan is in action! Adventure!" Sea Hawk cried enthusiastically as they snuck into the outskirts of the Fright Zone.

"Can you puh-lease shut the fuck up?" Mermista asked, sounding dead inside as usual. She was not looking forward to go diving in the sewers.

Adora planned everything. The Fright Zone, oddly enough, had zones within it as it was such a large place. Mermista would sneak into the prison through the sewer pipes and unlock the doors, while Sea Hawk and Perfuma would disable the lights from the security tower at Adora's signal. Adora herself would neutralise any guards on patrol.

For a while, everything was going well. Mermista hopped into the sewers and Adora knocked out two guards using the element of surprise. Sea Hawk and Perfuma managed to disable the lights after slashing all the wires apart with a knife, though Sea Hawk had wanted to try some other methods. They were in. Adora checked through the database of prisoners through a screen in the wall and located Bow, but couldn't find Glimmer.

"Damn it," she muttered.

Perfuma patted her arm reassuringly. "Let's get Bow for now, since we know where he is. We can find Glimmer after we bust him out," she said.

Adora sighed deeply but didn't disagree with her. Everyone snuck across the dark hallway, avoiding the robots on patrol, and managed to get into the control tower in the central area of the prison. "I don't know exactly how to work this thing, but it's not too complicated," Adora said, looking at all the buttons and levers. "I just need to move the platforms to where Bow is."

"I'll manage this!" Sea Hawk offered. "You find your friend!"

"I'll watch him to make sure he doesn't set anything on fire," Mermista said.

"Why would I do that?"

Perfuma stared at him in disbelief. "You wanted to set fire to the security tower," she stated. "Remember?"

Sea Hawk smiled a bright, confident smile and pressed a random button, making a metal platform, like a walkway, protrude from the tower and link to one of the floors the cells were located in. "Not only am I handsome; I am a genius, too!" he boasted. Mermista was beginning to regret her decision to watch over him.

"Look, just make sure you find a way to move the platform to the sixteenth floor, okay? Or close to that," Adora said.

"Don't worry, my dear, I will."

"Try not to kill us!" Perfuma said cheerfully and left the control room with Adora to stand on the platform.

Slowly, they ascended. Things were looking good.

Then out of a hallway rushed Lonnie, her face looking slightly beaten up. Adora wondered what happened to her but didn't want to stick around to find out. Thankfully, Sea Hawk and Mermista had the same idea and the platform started to descend, though it was too late. Lonnie had jumped on.

As soon as that happened, however, the speed at which the platform was moving rapidly increased; so much that Perfuma lost her footing and fell off. Adora ignored Lonnie and dived to her stomach to reach Perfuma, feeling relieved when vines wrapped around her outstretched arms, but she was now completely vulnerable to an attack. Perfuma swung herself back onto the platform and kicked Lonnie's stomach in the process, sending her flying off the edge.

Adora might have left the Horde but she didn't want to risk Lonnie getting seriously injured by falling from a height. She leaped forward and managed grab her wrist, but the momentum dragged her down, too. Fortunately, Perfuma's vines pulled her back up. "Thanks," Adora muttered. "We could have died."

"Let go of me, traitor!" Lonnie ordered.

While that was happening, the atmosphere in the control room was one of disorder. A lizard boy broke through the window and was engaged in combat with Sea Hawk and Mermista. Sea Hawk was wrestling the creature and failing while Mermista was trying to choke him in a headlock from behind. Her eyes darted to the window and widened when she saw that the platform was out of sight. If it went too low too quickly it could hit the ground and that would be dangerous for Adora and Perfuma. Straining, she stretched her leg and kicked the keypad, hoping something would change. The platform shot upwards, the speed pushing everyone on it to fall to their hands and knees.

"Mermista, please, take off my belt!" Sea Hawk yelled from underneath the giant lizard.

"Ew. You're seriously asking me to do that kinda stuff in the middle of a fight?" Mermista asked, baffled by his request.

"Do it! We need it if we want to stop this thing! We can strangle it!"

Mermista was just about to reach for Sea Hawk's belt when the large tail of the lizard swiped her away, sending her smashing into the wall. She groaned. "I guess... he has a brain after all," she murmured.

Sea Hawk felt his blood boil at the sight of his beloved slumped against the wall in pain. He roared like a lion and jammed both of his thumbs into the lizard's eyes. The lizard roared back at Sea Hawk and reared up, ready to pummel him, when a blast of pressurised water hit him and made him break another window as he flew back out.

Perfuma noticed a giant, green blob flying towards them and yelled at Adora to duck. She ducked, but Lonnie was too slow and the lizard crashed into her, making them both slide into the hallway they had first come out from. With a sigh, Perfuma and Adora stood back up but the relief was short lived. Two Horde soldiers with tasers had arrived on the platform.

In the control room, Sea Hawk stood up and peered outside then looked back at Mermista, who was miraculously conscious. She held out her hand and the flow of water died down. Sea Hawk high-fived her. "We make a good team," he said before taking in a deep breath. "Ohhh—"

"If you start singing, I will literally kill you."

Back on the platform, Perfuma rolled the Horde soldiers, who were ensnared in her vines, away from them and jumped to the floor Bow was on. Adora followed her and they ran in search of their friend. Soon, they found him, but he wasn't alone. Standing in front of Bow's cell was a thin boy wearing the Horde cadet clothes.

"Adora!" Bow and the boy shouted, then looked at each other in confusion.

"Bow!" Adora punched the keypad on the wall and the barrier holding him back faded. Discarding her usual pride, she wrapped her arms around him.

"Are you alright?" Perfuma asked, also hugging Bow for a brief moment.

Bow nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not so sure about Glimmer," he said. "Kyle told me where she is."

Adora blinked as if she'd only just realised he was there. "Oh. Hey, Kyle," she greeted lamely.

"Uh... Hi."

"Glimmer's in the Black Garnet Chamber," Bow said. "I don't know what that is, but it sounds scary."

Adora tried to suppress a shiver, but failed. Shadow Weaver's lair. She could already feel the shadow tendrils tangling around her limbs, but she had to be brave for Glimmer. Before she could say anything, the alarms went off and everything turned red. "Damn it," she muttered.

"Wait!" Kyle yelled over the alarm. "I know this place inside out 'cause I'm always here. I can get you guys out."

Adora wasn't surprised to hear that Kyle was in the most boring place. He was working so far from the barracks because most of the cadets disliked him — probably because he was so weak. The only reason he hadn't been kicked out was because he was good with technology.

"Why are you trying to help? I left the Horde," Adora said as she signalled to Sea Hawk in the control room. A platform reached them and they all hopped on.

"Because you were always cool," Kyle admitted. "If you joined the princesses, then they're probably not that evil."

"They're not evil at all," Bow said quietly.

In a few seconds they joined up with Sea Hawk and Mermista before leaving the prison area, Kyle helping them escape by entering passwords into keypads near the exits. Adora could hear the footsteps of Horde soldiers tapping behind her and decided that it'd be too dangerous for them all to get Glimmer.

"Change of plans," she said. "We're not going to the Black Garnet Chamber." Everyone looked confused. "If we all go there's a higher chance someone will get caught. I'll hand myself over to the soldiers. It'll buy you some time to escape."

"We can't leave you behind!" Bow exclaimed. "We'll be safer together!"

Maybe. But if they were caught so close to a more crowded area it'd be even harder to escape as a group. No, Adora had to do this alone. "I'll get Glimmer, I promise," she muttered, running out just as one of the doors grinded shut. Soldiers surrounded her and she raised her hands in the air. "I give up. Take me to Shadow Weaver," Adora said as bravely as she could.

"Aren't you the one that ran away?" one of the soldiers mumbled as he handcuffed Adora. "Whatever. Shadow Weaver will be happy to see you," he chuckled. The other soldiers formed a semi circle behind her as they began walking.

A while later, she entered the dark, spacious room. The only light was red and it was coming from the corner. Kneeling there was Glimmer, her arms bound by strange, red lighting. Adora felt a sudden sharp pain in her head at the sight of that but reassuringly yelled, "Glimmer, it's okay! I'll get you out of here!" The Horde soldiers pushed her back onto a flat surface about the length of her body, securing leather straps around her waist, knees and wrists. "What are you doing?" she questioned as the surface moved so she was mostly upright, but the soldiers didn't say anything and left the room. Catra stood near the open door. "What did you do to her?" Adora asked. Again, there was no reply. She didn't even look in Adora's direction.

Then Shadow Weaver herself appeared and Adora couldn't help feeling afraid. The woman's shadow was scary but she was more terrifying in person. She said something to Catra and Catra got angry. Shadow Weaver got angrier and chucked her out, slamming the door behind her.

"Shadow Weaver, I'll stay here willingly if you let Glimmer go," Adora started, trying not to stammer. Her body was beginning to heat up like a furnace. Why? Glimmer weakly protested from her corner.

"Yes, you shall stay willingly," Shadow Weaver chuckled, cupping Adora's cheek.

"What?"

"It appears there's no point in hiding this anymore, since you won't remember anything in a few minutes." Shadow Weaver took another leather strap and wrapped it behind Adora's head so it was in her mouth. Her teeth clenched over it — she didn't know why, but felt like she had to.

_Oh no._

_I've been here before._

_When?_

_What does she mean by "you won't remember?"_

Shadow Weaver sighed. "Ah. I miss the days when you were smaller. More obedient. Less rebellious," she said, hand moving down from Adora's face to her neck. Adora flinched but didn't say anything — not like she could, anyway. "But things will go back to normal."

"Leave her alone!" Glimmer shouted. "What do you even want to do to her?"

Shadow Weaver guffawed like she had heard the funniest joke in the world. "I'm afraid I can't leave her alone. Adora belongs to _me_ and I will do as I please. I shall start by wiping her memory."

Adora's eyes grew wide without her even noticing. She started to thrash forward but the straps firmly held her in place.

"Now, now, don't be afraid, my dear," Shadow Weaver cooed, her dark hair fanning around her. "This was always our favourite activity when you were young," she said. "But you've grown so much — you're too big for this table, now. I'll get you a new one."

Tears were streaming down Adora's face and she would have bowed her head if she could. She didn't want her tears to be seen.

"You're sick! Go to Hell!" Glimmer yelled, using all her strength to shout, but groaning as pain jolted down her arms.

Shadow Weaver ignored her and pressed her palms to Adora's temples. Gently, she smoothed a few strands of hair out of her face. Then the pain began. Red sparks shot directly into Adora's head and she couldn't hold back a muffled scream as an unholy concoction of pain and everything evil seeped directly into her brain. Fire, acid, sharp knives, venom, you name it.

_MAKE IT STOP_

Adora's body tensed and contorted as if an incredibly strong, invisible force had stretched her limbs out, and she started to repeatedly smash the back of her head into the metal surface. If it wasn't for the leather strap in her mouth she would have bitten her tongue off.

It got worse and she screamed louder. Memories she had never seen before flashed in her fragmented mind. All the previous times Shadow Weaver had erased her memories washed over her in a fresh wave of pain. Zaps in her brain, over and over and over again. All the things she had seen before that. Cat... what was her name? Cat something.

Cat something crying, smoke rising from her singed fur after Shadow Weaver zapped her out of anger, or just for fun. Over and over and over again. But there were happier memories, too. Smiles, laughs. It still hurt, though. Shadow Weaver was hurting her so much. Shadow Weaver.

Was that how Shadow Weaver erased memories? Making her feel so much pain that all Adora could think about, care about and remember was her?

 _No! Don't forget!_ a tiny part of Adora screamed. But most of her couldn't think about anything except the merciless agony. If she could speak properly she would ask Shadow Weaver to kill her, but that didn't stop her from thinking it.

Meanwhile, Glimmer was listening to what was going on. Tears welled in her eyes and she forced herself to teleport, her form shifting for a moment, then reforming with a red flash. It felt like she was tearing her soul apart, but she tried again, gritting her teeth. Finally, she was free and appeared right above Shadow Weaver before sending a fist into her head, using all her weight, shattering the mask and knocking the woman unconscious. The lightning stopped and Adora went limp. Glimmer quickly unfastened the straps and Adora stumbled to her feet, looking like she was going to pass out.

"Adora? Do you remember me?" Glimmer asked frantically.

Adora stared right through her. "I think so," she muttered in a broken voice.

Glimmer sniffed before hugging her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. Then they staggered out, half hobbling, half running across dark hallways, and reached a dead end. "Shit," Glimmer muttered, grabbing Adora and trying to teleport, but failing. "Shit!"

A grating sound was heard along the wall. Glimmer turned and Catra stepped out of the shadows, holding Adora's sword in one hand and a red cloth in the other. "What are you doing?" asked the Princess.

"Just take the damn things," Catra growled, holding both items out, the red cloth being recognised by Glimmer as the red jacket Adora was wearing when she first met her. "And get the fuck out of here."

"Why are you staying? Shadow Weaver treated you like trash!" Glimmer commented.

"So did Adora. I think she's made it pretty clear that she hates me," Catra snarled. "Now take the sword and fuck off."

Adora seemed unresponsive for a moment, but then weakly grabbed the sword, her arm hanging limply as she held it. Glimmer took the jacket.

 _What am I supposed to say?_ a weak voice in Adora's head asked. _I know what it is. For the honour of... Redskull? Grayskull?_

A bright red light enveloped Adora and She-Ra appeared, slashing the sword into the door multiple times and then kicking it to pieces. Adora was back just as quickly as she had disappeared, looking even weaker than before, barely holding the sword and leaning against the wall. Glimmer blinked, surprised, and turned to Catra, but she was gone. The pair stumbled outside and Glimmer saw a tiny Bow from the distance, along with Perfuma, Mermista, Sea Hawk and a boy she didn't recognise.

They all helped pull her and Adora up on to the skiff. Despite their joy from getting Glimmer back, they all noticed that something was wrong with Adora, who was completely silent on the way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. Shadow Weaver is a monster.


	12. Going down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora look back on their past with Shadow Weaver and She-Ra makes a gory return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter made me change the archive warning. Oops.

"Stop! Please! It hurts!" cried a very young Catra, her body twitching and tensing as Shadow Weaver electrocuted her. But she didn't.

Then Adora ran in and Shadow Weaver stopped. Catra was on the floor, sobbing and clutching her small body, when she felt Adora's hands tenderly holding her head.

Shadow Weaver took her away and Catra protested, worried that she was going to do the same thing to Adora, but she was too weak and in pain to get up and stop her. Slowly, she crawled to their room and lay on the bottom bunk, and a few hours later, Adora was back. Except she said she didn't know what happened to make her cry.

And that was the first time.

Catra didn't remember the exact reason why Shadow Weaver hurt her, as she was around five years old when it happened. She had been hurt by Shadow Weaver many, many times after that. Sometimes, Adora accidentally saw it. Sometimes she didn't. Catra vividly remembered screaming and writhing on the floor as fire coursed through her veins. Adora wasnt there to interrupt anything. It felt like hours would pass until Shadow Weaver would tell her to stop crying and piss off.

But when Adora did see Catra get hurt she'd act like it didn't happen later. The more she thought about Adora the more she hated her. But she missed her, too. And it infuriated Catra.

She woke up alone in a separate room, now that she was a force captain. After getting ready for the day, Catra went to Entrapta's "lab." Entrapta herself was rapidly spinning around on a chair and rambling about runestones and hacking the planet to Scorpia. When she caught sight of Catra, she enthusiastically thanked her again for recovering the First One's technology, and as a gift, offered Catra the silver mask that Hordak gave to her.

"What are you doing? You can't steal stuff and give it back as gift," Catra muttered, inspecting it.

"Hey, you did that to me with my teddy bear!" Scorpia commented.

Entrapta shook her head. "I didn't steal it!" she said. "Well, I did. But I modified it and it's now improved! I implanted a piece of the Black Garnet into it so you'll have a chance against that Princess!"

Catra tried it on and for a second, it hurt, but then she felt calm. Very calm. She felt strong. Like she could take on Adora. Like she could take on Shadow Weaver (though she didn't need to after Hordak punished her for letting the Princess escape). Like she could take on the world.

"How is it?" Entrapta asked, holding a pen and a notebook. "Any complaints will be recorded in this book for further improvements to the mask."

Catra smirked, looking at the lightning crackling in her palm. "It's great."

Later, they began preparing to invade Bright Moon.

*

"Leave her alone!" a young Adora cried as she ran into the room after hearing Catra's screams. She stepped between her and Shadow Weaver, staring at the smoke rising from Catra's fur as she curled up, tail wrapped around herself, sobbing. A moment later, the lightning stopped crackling in the woman's palms and she gently patted Adora on the head.

"Don't get so worked up, child," she said. "That animal needed to be—"

A small hand slapped her own one away.

"I hate you! Why are you hurting Catra? We didn't mean to make a mess! We were just playing!" Adora shouted, tears beginning to form in her eyes at the sight of her best friend on the ground. Shadow Weaver was silent, though her hair started to wave ominously like a pool of dark oil spreading across a lake. "Catra? Are you okay?" Adora, too worried about her friend to apologise to the woman, knelt down and pulled Catra's fluffy head onto her lap.

"It appears that you both need to be taught a lesson," Shadow Weaver finally said.

"No," Catra groaned, hiding behind her hair as the woman grabbed Adora and started to drag her away.

To the Black Garnet Chamber.

Shadow Weaver shut the door behind them and looked around, noticing a table that hadn't been used. Adora, who was starting to panic, spoke up. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry!"

"I know, my dear," the woman replied, tying her down to the table despite her struggling. "But you weren't supposed to see that."

"Please... Don't hurt me!"

"I'm only doing this because I love you."

Zap. A pain that her child vocabulary couldn't describe.

Another time. Catra shouted at Shadow Weaver. Zap. Another time. Catra made a mistake. Zap. Another time. Many more times.

A more recent memory. They were sixteen.

"I did just as good as everyone else," Catra growled after the other cadets left the room. Adora was behind her, slightly nervous and already feeling the strange tension in the room. It was familiar.

"If that was the case you would have passed the test, but you didn't," Shadow Weaver hissed.

"That's because you hate me!" Catra shouted. Shadow Weaver didn't even bother hiding her violence from Adora. She knew Catra had given up on trying to tell her the truth and would lie about the wounds when asked what it was.

She slapped Catra in the face, but the feline was used to it and simply glared at her, ignoring the drops of blood pooling on her lip. Shadow Weaver had done worse before. "Don't be so impertinent with me," hissed the woman.

Adora recovered from her shock. "Why did you do that?!" she asked, quickly stepping between them. "She didn't do anything!"

"Forget about it," Catra snapped. "Like you always do. I'm fine." She turned her back on Adora and walked out.

"Adora, come with me," Shadow Weaver said, beginning to walk.

"Why did you do that to Catra?" Adora asked, trying to hide her shaking fists as she followed.

"You'll find out." They arrived in the Black Garnet Chamber. "Lie on that table, my dear," said Shadow Weaver, in a sweet voice, but Adora could tell that her words were an order.

Adora stared at the table for a moment and memories of the past slowly came back. She couldn't breathe. "No," she muttered, stepping away but stopping when she felt Shadow Weaver's hands on her shoulders. "I can't. I know— I know what you're going to do." Shadow Weaver grabbed her and pushed her to the table, her dark form growing larger. Adora's punch simply went through her and soon she was immobilised. "Let me go!" she cried, fearing the pain that was about to come.

_How many times has she done this?_

_How many times has she hurt Catra?_

Every time Shadow Weaver tied her to that table, it was always too late for her to escape by the time she started to remember. She always questioned how many times Shadow Weaver tied her there and wiped her mind. Her restored memories, although they were vivid, were too many to count. She always questioned how many times Shadow Weaver hurt Catra. Too many times. And she always forgot. Then she remembered everything the next time Shadow Weaver was going to wipe her memory. Then she forgot. It was an endless cycle of accumulated memories painfully disappearing and painfully appearing and then painfully disappearing again.

Another time far, far back. A five year old Adora after having her memory wiped for the first time. "Catra!" she called, rushing over to the bottom bunk that her friend was curled up on. She sat down near her, noticing something was wrong. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Did Lonnie pull your tail?" she asked, rubbing Catra's head.

Catra opened her eyes and stared up at her. "What do you mean? You saw what happened," she mumbled.

Adora thought for a moment and shook her head. "No. What happened?"

Catra sat up, wincing in pain, and stared at her more intensely, ears flattened on her head. "Shadow Weaver hurt me. She zapped me," she explained.

"But... Shadow Weaver wouldn't do that. She's not that scary."

Catra's ears drooped further and her tears seemed to intensify. That night, she cried and cried and wouldn't — no, _couldn't_ stop. Not even when Adora said Catra would get punished by the night warden for showing weakness. Not even when Adora hugged her close and told her it was alright, because she was going to make Lonnie pay for what she'd done.

Another of the many, many memories.

"Catra?" Adora asked. Catra, who was lying on her back on the bottom bunk, twitched her ear quickly, but that was the only response Adora got. She sat near her and placed a hand on hers. Catra's ear twitched again but she didn't remove her hand. "You've been quiet all day. What's wrong?" Catra swiped her hand away and sat up, staring at the blankets. "Hey, wait. What happened to your lip?"

"Nothing. I fell."

"Really?"

Catra turned to her with a tired, empty look in her mismatched eyes that made her look as if she wanted to cry, but had given up long ago. "Yeah. Now come over here."

"Okay." She settled down and Catra curled up near her legs.

*

Adora woke up to see a tall, white animal staring down at her. What was that? She felt like she knew him. Something-Wind. "You're finally awake!" he said, smiling, which looked very unnatural on his face. "Don't look at me like that. I'm working on it."

 _Am I in Hell?_ she wondered. Maybe she was still dreaming.

With his long legs, the animal walked out, revealing the large wings folded against his back.

She was alone again.

_Catra, I'm so sorry._

Adora couldn't begin to imagine how much pain Catra went through while she always had no idea it even happened. What kind of shitty person was she? Adora should have been strong enough to fight off Shadow Weaver, strong enough to not forget. But she wasn't. She couldn't be strong for the most important person in her life.

_Did I do the right thing?_

_I shouldn't have left Catra._

_I hurt her without even realising._

_All I do is cause pain._

The animal came back in with three people who also looked familiar. A large boy, a short girl and a thin boy. The first two sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Adora," the large boy said hesitantly. What was his name again? Boy? Bob? "How do you feel?"

She sat up, wincing as her tense muscles moved, and thought for a moment. "I don't know."

"Do you know who we are?" the boy asked. The short girl with pink hair near him was quiet, looking more sorrowful than he did.

"Kind of," Adora mumbled. The short one suddenly hugged her. Well, it wasn't really a hug. She just hid her face in Adora's t-shirt.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried. "If I paid more attention to Lobster Lady at the prom then she wouldn't have captured us and you wouldn't have had to save me and then you wouldn't have been hurt by Shadow Weaver and then your memories wouldn't have gone messed up!"

"Glimmer!" the boy gasped. "Don't be so hard on yourself!"

Glimmer. That was her name. A memory played in Adora's mind. Glimmer bound by Shadow Weaver's red lighting. Slight burns and scratches on her body. Her usually soft hair standing up. A pained look on her face. But she wasn't with Shadow Weaver anymore. "It's okay," Adora muttered, pulling Glimmer close. Suddenly, Glimmer glowed a red colour and her entire body shook so much that Adora vibrated. "Glimmer! What just happened?" she asked.

"I'm fine," Glimmer assured her, sitting back on the edge of the bed.

"It didn't look fine to me. Does your mum know?" Adora asked, looking concerned. Glimmer nodded. "Bow?"

"Yeah?" the boy asked, a grin spreading across his face despite the somewhat dire situation.

"What happened while I was asleep?" Adora asked.

Bow started to explain, "Not that much, really. We hid Glimmer's glitching from her mum. And Kyle, of course." Kyle, the thin boy who was standing near something-Wind, nodded nervously. "But as Glimmer said, Queen Angella found out about both things. We almost had to fight for Kyle's life, but she gave in."

"And how long was I asleep for?"

"Almost two days."

"What?!" She tried to get up but groaned at the pain of moving. Her body must have gone through so many spasms because of the pain from Shadow Weaver that she slightly injured herself. It felt like she had carried a ton with each limb and the back of her head hurt from smashing it on the table. Her teeth also ached from biting down so hard. "Glimmer's been going through this for two whole days?" Adora forced herself to stand, hiding the tremor in her legs. "Damn it! I need to fix this!"

She was terrible at being She-Ra and was lucky that she had managed not to kill anyone else after the fight in Thaymor, but She-Ra couldn't use magic, heal or even speak. Why was Adora such a failure? She had to learn to control She-Ra whether she wanted to or not, and if she couldn't make Glimmer better she would never forgive herself. Actually, she already didn't forgive herself for many things, but she didn't want to think about it.

"Adora, this isn't your responsibility," Glimmer began.

"But it is! Your mum told me not to let you down and I did! I let you get captured and now this happened!" Adora replied, bashing the heel of her palm into her forehead until Glimmer grabbed her arm.

Bow pulled a little package from his bag. "Don't strain yourself, you must be hungry. My dad made apple pie yesterday but it still tastes good," he said, unwrapping it to reveal a slice.

"I'm not hungry, but thanks," Adora muttered, looking out the window to see dark, grey clouds in the usually tranquil sky.

"I'll take it!" Something-Wind — Swift Wind — yelled, chomping the slice out of Bow's hand.

"I need to get ready," Adora said, slowly moving to the bathroom.

"For what?" Bow asked.

"Don't know. But I think I should. Something feels weird," she said, picking up her red jacket, which still had the force captain badge on it. Adora removed it, and, turning away from Bow, Glimmer, Kyle and Swift Wind, hid an agonised look. She didn't know how Catra found her jacket but she felt she didn't deserve to have it back. Not because it was extremely valuable, but because Catra should have burned it after all the pain Adora caused her. She picked a small hair — probably Catra's — off the jacket, then entered the bathroom.

"I agree with her!" Swift Wind yelled after he finished eating the pie.

Later, they received urgent news in the main hall of the castle. One of Queen Angella's guards, who had been on duty to watch over Bright Moon from a watchtower, reported something strange. "It is snowing in the Whispering Woods. But I saw tanks, too, and smoke coming from the Fright Zone. I'm sure of it. We shall prepare if you will allow us, your Majesty!"

Queen Angella looked thoughtful. "In the state the Whispering Woods is in, it'd be the perfect chance for the Horde to attack, and I'm losing my connection to the Moonstone," she said. "All right. We shall assemble all the archers, mages and swordsmen to protect Bright Moon. Make sure to alert Spinnerella and Netossa, too, if they aren't here yet."

"Mum. Bow, Adora, Kyle and I can warn the people in the village nearby to go somewhere safer for the time being," Glimmer spoke up.

"Then you had better get started. I don't want you getting caught up in the battle."

"What? Bright Moon is our _home_! I _have_ to fight no matter what!"

"Glimmer," Adora began. "Your mum is right. You're not well."

"So? You've been through hell to rescue me and you're going to fight, aren't you? I'm not going to stand by and do nothing!" 

Worried that Glimmer and Queen Angella would progress into their frequent quarrels, the guards left to prepare for battle, leaving Glimmer, Adora, Kyle, Swift Wind and Bow alone with the Queen. She sighed at Glimmer's statement, but did not look surprised. "Why did I know you'd say that?" she muttered. "You brought not one, but _two_ Horde soldiers into Bright Moon—"

"Actually," Bow interrupted. "Glimmer didn't take Kyle with us. _I_ did." He patted Kyle on the back and he almost fell over.

" —And you're always ready for a fight," the Queen continued. "I've tried for a long time to mold you into someone like me, but you're too stubborn and brave. Just like your father."

"Mum..."

"I guess there's no stopping you. Here, take this," she said, handing Glimmer a staff. "This belonged to your father. I know you've made him proud, but today, make him even more proud. Most of all, try to stay safe."

Glimmer hugged her mum and Bow wiped a tear away.

"What's going on?" Kyle quietly asked Adora.

"To be honest, I don't really understand, myself," she replied.

"They love each other," Bow whispered. "Or did they not teach that in the Horde?"

Adora and Kyle glanced at each other and then asked, "Are we supposed to know about this?"

"When we win this thing, you guys need a serious lesson about love," said Bow, shaking his head in disappointment.

Glimmer separated from her mother's arms and glitched again. "Take your friends to the room where you hoard your weapons. They need to defend themselves, too," said the Queen.

"You knew about that?" Glimmer mumbled sheepishly after she recovered.

"Of course I did. I'm the Queen!"

Then they all went to the armoury — as Glimmer called it. Bow squealed over some arrows, Swift Wind picked up a giant mace and declared that he was going to "defeat those damn fascists" and Kyle took a slingshot and a bag of steel balls. They also put on some armour for protection. Adora reluctantly got her sword from her room and they headed out.

"Are you ready?" Swift Wind asked everyone, his speech slightly muffled from the handle of the mace in his mouth.

Kyle shook his head. "I'm scared," he muttered. "I don't even know what I'm doing. I hate fighting— Wait a second, why is this dog talking?"

"Don't assume my species! I'm a horse!" Swift Wind corrected.

"To answer the first question, I am not ready!" Bow cried.

"Well, I'm ready to kick ass," Glimmer said, before glitching for a few seconds. "I'm okay."

Adora didn't say anything.

Outside it was dark, but occasional flashes of crimson in the sky lit up the area. Hundreds of guards stood in formation below the castle in the surrounding lake.

"Come on, let's go to the village. Knowing the Horde, they'll attack that, too," Glimmer said and they followed her down to the nearby village on the ground, and they were there in fifteen minutes.

"This place is pretty cool," Kyle said. "Why do you live in the woods?" he asked Bow.

"Eh, ask my dads."

"You have _two_ dads?" Adora asked, confused. How could somebody have two parents of the same sex? Was Bow an alien or something?

"Yeah."

"Lucky. I don't even have _one_ dad," Kyle sighed.

When the villagers saw Glimmer, a few came forward. "Princess, what brings you here?" one of them asked.

Glimmer nodded to the sky. "The Horde is coming. They found a way to get through the Whispering Woods by freezing it. You have to leave now and hide in the castle's basement," she explained.

Soon, the word had spread and people were packing up their important belongings. But the sounds of tanks in the distance got louder and the first ones broke out of the woods. "Run!" Glimmer yelled, and groups of villagers started to flee in panic.

"Let's stop these guys before they kill anyone!" Bow cried. Just then, one tank shot down a house with the blast of a laser. "Darn it!"

Kyle pulled his slingshot and launched a steel ball at a tank to test it out and gulped when it left a noticeable dent in the tank's armour. Bow shot an explosive arrow at the tank just as it shot another laser, the explosion creating a huge blast of wind. Skiffs flew in too and Horde soldiers jumped out of the tanks, chasing after the villagers. They were probably planning to capture or kill them. Either way, Glimmer couldn't let them do that.

"Bow, Kyle; you guys get back and damage the tanks, skiffs and robots as much as you can without getting shot. There's only two tanks and two skiffs, since most of them will be attacking the castle, so focus mostly on the robots. Adora, Swift Wind and I will go after the soldiers," Glimmer explained, having to shout over the commotion. Everyone seemed to agree and they split up.

"Hey!" Adora yelled, just as a soldier tased an old man. "Why don't you fight someone who's not running away?"

"Cool. Get ready to die!" yelled the soldier, putting the taser in her pocket and pulling out a knife.

Adora jumped back just as the soldier stabbed forwards where her stomach was. She managed to hit the soldier with the flat part of her blade and knock her helmet off.

The soldier's weapon was smaller but she would be faster, while Adora's sword was large and heavy, and the ache in her body wasn't helping. The only advantage she had was her range. The length of her sword meant she could hit from further away while the soldier would have to be closer to her to land a blow. It looked like Adora would need to keep her distance.

"Is that it? Not gonna stab me?" asked the soldier, miraculously recovering from her daze, shaking the hair out of her face. "That's what'll get you killed!" she roared and slashed at Adora with the knife. Adora raised her sword to block, but the soldier's attack was a feint. She punched her in the stomach before kicking her to the ground.  "Sorry, kid," she said, kneeling down and holding the knife to Adora's throat, preparing to slit it.

Crack.

Adora opened her eyes. Something was sticking out of the soldier's forehead. Something round and shiny. Dropping the knife, the soldier fell onto her back, staring into the dark sky with empty eyes as blood dripped down the sides of her head. Adora stood up and realised that the object in the soldier's forehead was a steel ball. It had hit her with such force that it cracked through her skull and partially embedded itself in her brain.

She turned to see Kyle a few metres behind her holding his slingshot, tears welling in his eyes. "Thanks," Adora muttered, going near him and putting a hand on his shoulder, unknowingly gripping too tightly. She then helped the injured old man to his feet. "Can you walk?" she asked and he nodded, hobbling away. Adora looked around.

More houses had been destroyed. She clenched her fists. This couldn't happen. It was playing out just like in Thaymor. Glaring, Adora ran after another soldier, who had caught up to a fleeing villager, and passed Swift Wind on the way.

It looked like he wasn't hesitating to attack at all. He kicked one soldier in the head with the hooves of his back legs and smashed through the skull of another with the mace. For a horse, he was really violent. "For the rebellion!" he neighed.

Boom. Another explosion rocked the ground beneath them and made the air cut into them.

Adora kept running after the Horde soldier.

Slash.

But she wasn't fast enough.

The villager had a cut going across her throat and she fell down, gasping and drowning in her own blood. Her baby had dropped from her arms and was crying while the Horde soldier stood over them both.

Before he could kill the baby, something tore through his wrist and his severed hand dropped to the floor with a wet thud. The soldier screamed as blood poured from the wound.

Adora stood a metre away and menacingly raised her bloodied sword. "Get out of here," she hissed. "Or I swear on Etheria I'll chop your head off next." That soldier was smart. He picked up his hand and staggered away, tripping a few times. Adora picked up the baby and cradled it in one arm, carrying the sword in her other hand. She didn't know what to do. The Horde didn't prepare her for dealing with babies, especially babies who had just had a parent killed in front of them. Thankfully, two women who were running with a little boy offered to take the baby to safety and thanked Adora.

Glimmer ran up to her. "I think they're leaving," she said. The tanks were driving away and almost all the robots were broken. "They probably didn't expect anyone to defend this place." Bow and Kyle met with them, but Swift Wind was nowhere to be seen.

Then they heard him screaming, "Vive la révolution!" while he chucked his mace at the retreating tanks.

Adora looked around once more. The skiffs were still causing trouble and were trying to block the villagers from leaving, while some soldiers were jumping off. "I'm going to transform," she said resolutely.

"What?" Bow screamed. "But you hate it!"

"I have to. I have to stop innocent people from dying, even if I end up killing Horde soldiers."

Glimmer put both hands on her shoulders, making sure not to press down too hard. "Are you sure? I don't want you to regret this," she said.

Adora sadly smiled at her.

"I'll have regrets no matter what I choose to do," Adora stated. "But I'll be more regretful if any more villagers die. Besides, I don't want any of Queen Angella's guards to die either. Even though it's their job to fight, they don't deserve this. If I kill a Horde soldier there'll be one less soldier that a guard or villager has to face."

She wasn't going to change her mind.

"Okay," Bow sighed. "We'll check if the people on the floor are dead."

"Be careful, okay?" Glimmer said.

"Thanks, you guys," Adora murmured, hugging them all tightly. Then she stepped forward and raised her sword into the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!"

Glimmer and Bow quickly covered their eyes but poor Kyle was unused to She-Ra and was almost blinded. When he regained his vision and saw the princess in front of him, he fell back. "It's her!" he shrieked in terror.

She-Ra stared at him for a moment before turning and walking to the skiff. Glimmer thought there was something strange about her — stranger than usual — but couldn't put a finger on it. "Come on, let's get to work," she said in an unenthusiastic voice.

She-Ra approached the remaining Horde soldiers, who gasped once they recognised her. "Shit! It's her!" one yelled. "Get out of here before—" With a swing of her sword, She-Ra sliced through the soldier's head, cutting one side of it off. The inside of his skull was exposed from one side, and the remaining bits of his brain fell out. One eye had also been removed in the slice and the gap in his skeleton was visible. The soldier's tongue hung out limply from his half missing jaws and he would have screamed if his head had not been chopped off. Blood shot from his severed neck like a fountain, spraying the other frozen soldiers nearby.

"Run!" They all sprinted to the skiff. She-Ra walked behind them and impassively stabbed a soldier in the back, the giant blade protruding from her chest. She ripped the sword out, the soldier falling to her knees, and went for the skiff instead, chopping off the laser cannon and slicing open a giant cut in its metal surface, making it explode.

Three soldiers were left in the village. "Please... have mercy on us!" one of them pleaded.

But She-Ra didn't have mercy.

In a few seconds they were all dead.

Automatically, her feet carried her away from their corpses. Away from the village. And to the outside of the castle where the battle was raging. It didn't take her too long.

The lake had patches of red in the water near the bodies of fallen guards and Horde soldiers. The number of weapons was much higher than in the village. An almost endless amount of tanks, skiffs and robots, all shooting at the castle, slowly breaking it down while guards and Horde soldiers were locked in combat, though once the guards saw She-Ra their fighting spirit grew stronger. On the other hand, the Horde soldiers seemed to back away.

So many soldiers. So many. Which one should she kill first?

She-Ra stepped out of the way as a blast from a tank flew past her, then she jumped up and stabbed her sword deep into it, all the way to the hilt, before tearing it out. Smoke poured out of the cut. A bright blast knocked the sword from her hand and she was just about to retrieve it when she felt a presence.

Catra stood atop a tank, staring down at her, wearing the silver, horned mask Hordak had given to her when she was first promoted to the rank of a force captain.

"Hey, Adora," she greeted, looking into She-Ra's glowing, red eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be She-Ra vs Catra! I've been waiting to write that for a while.


	13. Dance with the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and She-Ra fight and Bow unites the Princesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this chapter to be this long. Hope you enjoy!

She-Ra launched herself at Catra, ignoring her sword in the water. Catra simply laughed and jumped backwards, landing on another tank, while the Princess smashed her fists into the one the feline was previously on, warping and denting the metal out of shape.

"Is that it?" Catra asked, sneering. She didn't want anymore tanks to be destroyed, so she'd have to lure She-Ra to the mountain area. Catra jumped back one more time, acclerated by her new powers, and landed on a rocky ledge. As expected, She-Ra followed, landing in an unexpectedly graceful way. For such a giant person, she was fast. "Hey, dumbass! Can you understand me?" Catra yelled. She-Ra was quiet. "I've gotten you further away from your sword! What you gonna do, now?"

The Princess suddenly sprinted forward. Catra had never seen her do that before and was caught off guard, unable to dodge properly. She jumped. Thankfully, She-Ra missed her but the side of her fist grazed Catra's shoulder and sent her flying. She rolled on the floor and came to a stop without taking too much damage. This Princess was no joke — it felt like she'd been hit by a tank. She could already feel her shoulder bruising. What would have happened if her fist fully collided?

Catra's thoughts were interrupted as rock fragments flew all over the place when She-Ra pulled her fist out of the cliff. Swiftly, she turned and stared intensely at Catra, who wondered if her eyes had always been bright red. She shrugged it off. She-Ra was a Princess and all Princesses were evil. Of course her eyes would be red.

"Guess I should quit playing, now," Catra chuckled and jumped to her feet, stretching her hand out and feeling the lighting crackling before shooting it forward. "Die!"

She-Ra's entire body was immediately surrounded by the red sparks and something resembling a facial expression formed on her face: her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly. But that seemed to be it. Twitching, she tore herself free and stomped out of its clutches, blowing away the lighting and creating a gust of wind. Catra felt it ruffle her wild mane and growled. "Why isn't it working?!"

This time, she climbed higher up. She-Ra didn't wait to see what was going to happen and continued to punch the cliff multiple times, breaking it down. Catra jumped off just as it collapsed and flew at her, taking advantage of the situation.

Bang.

She-Ra backhanded Catra in the chest as if she was simply swatting away a fly. To Catra, however, it felt like her heart had stopped.

But that wouldn't stop her from getting a hit in before she soared backwards.

Slash.

Four red lines formed on She-Ra's cheek, all the way from under her eye to her lower jaw. She bared her teeth but was once again mostly expressionless.

Dust clouded the air, muffling everything, and she looked around, ignoring the blood staining her white uniform. She could feel Catra's erratic heartbeat getting further away and took a few steps in the direction she thought the feline was travelling. Digging her hands into the rubble she had created, she picked up a paticularly large piece and threw it down.

Meanwhile, Catra was also listening and trying to ignore the sharp ache in her chest. She felt like she'd been run over by a tank, but brushed her thoughts aside and followed the sounds of the battle, narrowly avoiding being crushed by a giant, falling rock. Catra hopped back down to the lake, seeing something glowing in the water.

_There it is. That damn sword._

She swiped it and headed back up to the lower part of the cliff, and unsurprisingly, She-Ra landed from the ledge above, carrying a boulder as large as two round Horde robots combined. In one hand.

 _Wow, she's really not giving up on me, is she? Guess that's the difference between Adora and this... this damn freak,_ thought Catra.

"Hey, Adora," Catra said, hiding her anger and tauntingly waving the sword in the air. She-Ra was quiet and hurled the boulder at her but Catra rolled away, feeling it pass only a few centimetres away from the top of her head. She cringed at the sound of it crashing and her back was pelted with smaller pieces of rock. Then she sat atop a small pile of rubble in an oddly relaxed position. "You got a pretty cool sword. I kinda wish I didn't give it back to you at the Fright Zone," she murmured, knowing She-Ra could hear, tracing the patterns on the flat part of the blade with a claw.

Instead of throwing another boulder, She-Ra slammed her fists into the ground, cracking it open. Catra quickly climbed a wall before she could get swallowed into the ground, and jammed the sword into the wall to pull herself up.

"In fact, I should have just handed you and your little pal over to Hordak instead of letting you escape. Would've made life easier for me!" she laughed, though there was no joy in it. "So, why did I let you escape, you ask?"

She-Ra's face was blank as usual but Catra could tell she was growing angrier at being unable to kill her. She leaped up and landed a few metres away, her bright eyes reminding Catra of a pair of rising suns.

"Don't think it was because I like you! I just wanted to keep my rank as a force captain. If you stayed, Shadow Weaver would have demoted me and made you force captain instead, 'cause you're so much better, aren't ya?"

She-Ra began walking toward her.

"But now we're in battle. And I'm gonna kill you. _Both_ of you."

Catra ducked just as She-Ra threw a punch at her and scampered out from between the Princess' legs, dropping the sword and ending up behind her.

It was now a test of speed. Would She-Ra get the sword and stab Catra? Or would Catra manage to attack before she could get killed?

Catra, wasting no time, dug her claws into the Princess' skin, tearing them down the length of her back. Simultaneously, she released red lighting from her palms. Catra hadn't practised much with her new powers at such a close range so all the lighting burst out like water breaking through a dam.

She-Ra made a loud, pained sound, falling to her knees as the high voltage lighting coursed through her very being, voice echoing in the cliffs for miles.

Catra froze and the red sparks disappeared.

She-Ra sounded... just like Adora.

Catra was expecting her to sound more demonic. But she didn't. It was jarring.

She shook her head, angry at herself for feeling... feeling _what_? She didn't know. But she didn't like it.

_Why should I care who she sounds like? I won't fall for this trick._

That small, second long pause was all the time She-Ra needed. Grabbing the feline from behind with her large hands, she flipped Catra over her head and slammed her into the ground, the force making Catra's mask fly off her face and hit the floor, cracking it in half. Suddenly, she felt depleted of her strength.

Catra was sure she also heard some bones crack in her collision with the ground and gasped in agony, blinking away tears. The sword came flying down at her. Using all her remaining scraps of energy, she rolled away, the sword missing her throat and slicing open part of her upper arm. Warm blood pooled on the floor and Catra groaned quietly as the pain in her arm and bones mixed together into one constant burn. Looking into the sky, the dark grey clouds twisted in a nauseating dance, as if mocking her from above, and the sounds of battle were drowned out by the ringing in her ears.

Something scraped right near her. It was the sword, scratching the ground as She-Ra stepped over the puddle of blood and stood over the feline's body, the shadow blotting her already blurry vision. She pressed one shoe on Catra's chest. Catra cried out. She-Ra raised her sword and held the bloodied point of it directly above her throat.

Something knocked the sword out of the Princess' hand and it fell to the floor with a clang. That something also grabbed Catra and she felt the heavenly hands of the wind stroking her fur. She opened her eyes, not even realising they were closed, and saw that she was flying through the air. But who saved her? Catra's eyes scanned past the blurry expanse of the sky, past the hand gripping her forearm, and stared directly into the eyes of that girl. The Princess that Adora rescued. She was pulled up onto whatever they were flying on and almost blacked out when she bumped her ribs against it.

_Shit. It hurts. It hurts._

_Wait a minute._

They were on a large, four legged white animal with wings. "What the fuck is wrong with your dog?" Catra shrieked, but just the act of breathing in itself made her twitch and curl in on herself in pain.

"I'm not a dog! And I'm not hers. Nobody owns me!" the animal replied.

Catra ignored him and growled at the girl in front of her. She blinked away the fuzzy edges in her vision. "Put me down, Princess! Don't think I'm not going to kill you!" She shoved Glimmer in the back of her shoulder, though there wasn't much strength in it and she winced, grabbing the cut on her arm and trying not to let Glimmer know she was hurting.

"Shut the hell up, okay?" Glimmer snapped, not bothering to shove Catra back, though she couldn't even if she wanted to, since Catra was sitting behind her. "I only saved you because Adora wouldn't forgive herself if she killed you. So hold on and make sure you don't fall off."

Catra didn't say anything for a moment and reluctantly wrapped her tail, which was bent at an odd angle, around Glimmer. "Really?" she scoffed. "Is that why she decided to fuck off? 'Cause she _cares_ about me?"

"Stop taking everything so personally and open your damn eyes! The Horde literally burns villages to the ground. What kinda sicko would stay there once they found that out?"

" _Adora's_ a sicko but she still left."

"Damn it! Are you even listening to me? I wanna punch you so badly!" Glimmer said. Suddenly, she glitched for a few seconds and Catra shuddered at the feeling. Even though it wasn't directly happening to her, she felt the pain, too. She probably shouldn't have been leaning her head on Glimmer's shoulder like that. Wait... Leaning on— _Shit_! Catra scooted away from the Princess, ashamed of herself.

_What the fuck is wrong with me right now? I don't need to be assisted. Especially not by a Princess._

"Punch me, Princess, or are ya too weak?" Catra taunted, bringing an arm around Glimmer and lightly pressing her claws to her neck, though she seemed to contemplate her actions for a second.

_Why am I goading her? One hit could end me in the state I'm in, and if I fall off this damn thing I'm fucked._

"I mean, I would punch you, but we're on a flying horse and you're bleeding to death. If you try to stab me Swift Wind will throw you off," Glimmer warned and Catra pulled her hand back.

"I can do it now, sis!" the flying horse offered.

"No! We need her alive!"

"Oh, right, I— Holy haystack!" Swift Wind screamed and flew downward just as a tank-sized boulder flew through the place they were a second ago. It landed and crushed a tank down below, the resulting explosion sending a blast of warm air at the trio. "She's really pissed off! I can practically feel it!"

"You can?" Glimmer asked.

"Yeah. Even when Adora transformed in the village, I felt something weird."

"Weirder than usual?"

"Well, I haven't seen her much..."

Catra's eyelids drooped and she struggled to keep them open, the conversation between Glimmer and Swift wind fading, their voices growing indistinguishable. Why was she so damn tired? Was it that stupid mask that had sucked out all her energy?

_I can't fall asleep! Not right near an enemy! Shit, shit, shit!_

"We have to stop She-Ra. Right now," Glimmer decided. Swift Wind agreed and they landed in a grassy area. A few seconds later the giant Princess was standing only a few metres away from them, tightly gripping her sword. She was fast, but it wasn't that surprising, seeing as she was almost the same size as Swift Wind. Glimmer, holding her staff in one hand, slipped off his back and Catra slowly did the same, feeling light headed. It was hard to breathe. Every time she inhaled and her ribcage expanded, she felt a sharp pain and would have to breathe less deeply.

"You're making a big mistake," she muttered, trying not to look like she was going to fall any second from now. "She's gonna fuck all three of us. You know that, right?"

"Uh... I thought we landed here to _fight_ her, not—" Swift Wind began.

"Shut up! Both of you! Don't you want to stop her?" Glimmer asked.

Catra tried to think. "Not really. I just wanna destroy Bright Moon."

"But she's killing your soldiers! Isn't it going to be harder for you to win?"

"Oh," Catra simply replied. She couldn't care less what happened to the soldiers, really. But Glimmer was right. Hordak was not going to be happy if they lost.

Glimmer took in a deep breath. "Hey!" she yelled at the glowing giant in the distance. "It's time to stop, Adora! You don't have to do this anymore!"

"You can't win against her!" Catra hissed but started to cough, the pain in her ribs intensifying.

She-Ra approached them, her footsteps making the ground vibrate. Once she got closer, the trio noticed that she was glaring. That — combined with her strange, now red eyes and the jagged scratches on her face — was an unholy abomination. Glimmer felt anger bubbling inside her. Catra must have inflicted those on Adora, but even so, she stepped in front of her as if she was trying to protect her. Catra, suppressing a growl, stepped aside. She didn't need help.

She-Ra pointed the sword at them but stayed still as if waiting for a good reason from Glimmer on why she shouldn't murder them. It wasn't a completely peaceful action, but it was less brutal than she usually was.

"Don't do this," Glimmer pleaded. "Adora, if you're in there, try to wake up. I don't want you to hate yourself for hurting one of us."

Shouts. Explosions. Splashes in the water.

She-Ra was quiet and focused as if she was trying to decipher Glimmer's words.

Then she swung her arm and the sword flew through the air towards Glimmer.

Everyone froze — Glimmer and Swift Wind out of fear, and Catra out of weakness, her complete lack of strength making her unable to move. She was surprised she was still standing. It looked like the lull of unconsciousness hadn't seduced her yet and she was still being fuelled by pain.

Nothing happened. They were all alive and not feeling worse than usual. Turning around, they saw the sword impaling the chest of a Horde soldier who had snuck up on them, raising a knife directly behind Glimmer's head. More Horde soldiers were arriving in the area with a robot in a brave but stupid attempt to fight the warrior Princess, but she was unfazed and strode past the trio to retrieve her weapon. She pulled it out of the soldier by lifting it up instead of pulling it out toward her. Consequently, she completely tore open the soldier's shoulder and they slumped to the floor, bleeding out.

Before Glimmer could yell at her to stop, She-Ra swiftly walked to the other soldiers. A robot attempted to shoot at her but she stabbed it and smoke erupted from its now destroyed innards. For a moment, the soldiers hesitated, both at the sight of the Princess and the sight of their dead comrade. In an almost carefree manner, She-Ra lunged forward and stabbed her sword into the guts of a soldier who had unfortunately been too close by.

Glimmer put a hand over her mouth and turned away from the corpses, but managed to call out. "Adora! That's enough!" Her eyes widened once she saw She-Ra's back. The white fabric of her uniform was red and torn, exposing deep scratches in her skin. Glimmer hadn't really noticed before because She-Ra's long hair and cape were hiding it, but they had both shifted in her sudden movement. She would have murdered Catra right there and then for what she'd done, but begrudgingly stayed still for Adora's sake.

"Force captain Catra?" a soldier gasped once he noticed her. "Why are you— " In a blink, his head rolled off his shoulders as the sword sliced into his neck, and blood began spurting from it. He stumbled then hit the floor, lying in a puddle of his own blood.

She-Ra's arm moved as if she was preparing to do the same to the last terrified soldier but Glimmer was ready and grabbed She-Ra's arm with both hands.

Catra mentally face palmed.

_That's it. The little Princess is dead._

She couldn't keep standing. Her legs gave up and she began to fall, but Swift Wind managed to grip the collar of her top with his mouth and lowered her to the ground. Catra didn't have the strength to get angry at him. She could barely breathe and the cut on her arm burned like hell. Everything was starting to hurt. Her head pounded like someone was repeatedly punching it and her vision was growing black at the edges.

Glimmer glitched and that seemed to distract She-Ra from her bloodlust, letting the last soldier flee. "Please... don't do this," she said. Her reflection shined back at her in She-Ra's red eyes. She frowned. Was she glitching,  too? Was it caused by Shadow Weaver? Or did her own glitching cause She-Ra to get like that? Was that why she wasn't breaking the transformation? Was Adora trapped in there? She wasn't sure.

Swift Wind shouted, staring into the distance, "Uh, Glimmer! I think your mum needs help! I'm gonna go!" Then he flapped his wings and rose into the air, soaring away.

Glimmer was locked in a silent staring contest with She-Ra. "I know you don't want this," she said, moving one hand to place it on hers, the one holding the sword. No reaction. "Please. Just say something. I don't even care if you start spouting Horde propaganda! Just say anything!" She-Ra was infuriatingly quiet but part of Glimmer felt sad. She looked lost — as if the only thing she knew how to do was kill.

A giant wave of water splashed in the distance and a tiny voice from afar screamed, "Adventure!"

Glimmer almost smiled. Right now she had to deal with Catra and She-Ra, though. She walked to where Catra was lying half-conscious. "Can you stand?" she asked.

"If I could stand I'd be fucking standing up, Princess," Catra mumbled, but bit her lip as another wave of pain washed over her. Glimmer grabbed her forearm to help her up and Catra managed to stand. She wrapped an arm around Catra's back, who this time couldn't hide a small yelp.

Glimmer was about to ask if she was okay but decided against it. When they turned, She-Ra had disappeared. "Shit!" she said. The pair stumbled down the grassy hill, Glimmer glitching a few times and Catra often involuntarily squeaking in response, leaving the dead Horde soldiers behind and heading closer to the heart of the battle.

Sea Hawk, Mermista and Perfuma had arrived, and oddly, Frosta, too. Glimmer was still not sure what to do about Catra. She would have to watch over her to make sure she didn't escape, but Glimmer was worried about her mum, and worried that She-Ra was out there hurting people and getting hurt. Thankfully, Bow, Kyle, Spinnerella and Netossa also arrived. Unfortunately, Scorpia, also known as Lobster Lady, was close by, and her tank began chugging towards them.

Glimmer hugged Bow once they reached each other. "You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. Can you watch her for me?" Glimmer asked, pointing at Catra.

"Sure. Leave it to us!" Bow said enthusiastically, taking hold of Catra's forearm. Kyle still looked a bit shaken.

"We'll take care of that Horde soldier," Netossa said, glaring at Scorpia, whose tank was getting closer and closer.

"Be careful. Lobster Lady's probably strong," Glimmer warned. "Thanks for the help."

Catra mumbled, "The fuck is a lobster?" then fell to her knees, pulling her arm free from Bow's grip and clutching her side.

"Come on, guys, we have to end this together!" Bow yelled at the Princesses. Everyone nodded in agreement, except Perfuma, who looked strangely worried. "Hey, what's up?" He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"She-Ra's not here. And even if she was, she's... not normal. How are we going to beat the Horde?" she said.

"Look, nobody on Etheria's seen her for like, a long time," Mermista said. "We had to make it through that and we can totally do it again now." Everyone stared at her. "What?"

"I kinda expected you to be all like: _Ugh, we're so dead,_ " Bow impersonated.

"Ugh. Why did I even bother speaking?" Mermista sighed.

"That's more like it!" Sea Hawk heartily patted her on the back and Bow stretched out a hand. One by one, everyone placed theirs on top of his.

Meanwhile, Glimmer rushed to the castle, pausing when she saw a shadow, then jumping when Swift Wind landed near her. "Hop on," he ordered. She climbed on and soon they were right in front of the Moonstone, where Queen Angella was using all her strength to keep her connection with it.

"Mum!" Glimmer landed on the platform and stood beside her mother, Swift Wind following. "Are you okay?"

Queen Angella smiled through gritted teeth. "I'm fine, Glimmer—"

"For Etheria!" Bow and the Princesses shouted and a bright light enveloped everything. Catra, taking advantage of the situation, escaped from the group. The light died down. Glimmer opened her eyes to see her mother directly in front of her.

"Go on," the Queen encouraged. Glimmer, feeling the sparkles returning to her body, smiled and wrapped her arms around her mother before teleporting to Bow, squeezing him tightly.

"Let's do this!" Bow cried and everyone separated, helping Queen Angella's guards fight off the Horde soldiers. Despite the disappearance of Catra and She-Ra, they were optimistic. Glimmer still couldn't see She-Ra anywhere, which was strange. She was usually impossible to miss.

Mermista pushed a group of soldiers away with her waves, Perfuma tied them up in vines and Netossa trapped them in her nets, while Frosta, Bow, Kyle and Spinnerella attacked the tanks. Scorpia shot at them, but a giant wave blocked the laser beam. The group nodded at Mermista in thanks. Meanwhile, Glimmer telelorted to the Horde soldiers and knocked them out by hitting their heads with her staff. Still, She-Ra was nowhere to be seen.

Finally, the Horde began to retreat. The tanks that could move crawled away and the soldiers were climbing in, knowing they'd lost, and another tank drove past. Standing on it were Catra and Scorpia, the former being supported by the latter. Catra shot Glimmer a glare and turned away. Something exploded. Then the broken, abandoned tanks, skiffs and robots self destructed one by one — someone must have prepared for a situation where they were losing.

"Get down!" Sea Hawk roared and everyone started running. Glimmer teleported Bow, then Kyle to safety. Mermista propelled herself, the others and the remaining guards on a wave.

After a while, the smoke died down and the Horde was gone, leaving only the dead soldiers and burnt machinery behind. Queen Angella and Swift Wind landed beside the group and scanned the area. Swift Wind shook his head sorrowfully, his red mane flowing. "I can't feel her," he said.

"She-Ra?" Glimmer asked.

"Yeah."

"So Adora's back," Bow contemplated. "But then..."

"She must have been injured or something," Glimmer muttered, worry clenching her heart. "So where is she?"

"Do you think," Kyle started, "she got captured by the Horde?"

That question only made her more frantic. Glimmer teleported around the area, looking around, but found nothing. She stared up at the sky, still dark and cloudy, as if asking for guidance. Ten minutes of extra searching later, she teleported back to her mother, who was standing with Bow, Kyle and Swift Wind.

Mermista was using her water powers to put out the fire from the destructed machinery, with Sea Hawk singing a song behind her, while Spinnerella and Netossa were securing the Horde soldiers they'd captured. Frosta had departed during Glimmer's absence and Perfuma was talking to one of the Bright Moon guards.

"I think Kyle's right. She's been taken," Glimmer said, clenching her fists. "Damn it! I should have tried harder to stop her! We have to help Adora!"

Queen Angella pulled her close. "This is not your fault," she assured her. "But as much as it breaks my heart to say this, we must focus on rebuilding Bright Moon and healing our own soldiers. The Horde army could come back any time they want now that the Whispering Woods has frozen."

Glimmer gritted her teeth and stared at the floor. "But we beat them! They can't possibly come back so soon!" she objected.

"Glimmer, we have no idea if they sent every soldier and every tank or just a large group. There is a possibility that the Horde army is larger than we think."

"But... Adora's my friend! And she messed herself up to save me and Bow! She couldn't break out of She-Ra in time! It's the whole reason why the Horde took her!"

"Do you think this is an easy choice?" the Queen raised her voice. Bow, Kyle and Swift Wind flinched, but were surprised once they saw tears in the woman's eyes. "I know this is hurting you. However, I too have grown to care about Adora and I can't thank her enough for saving you. But we must focus on Bright Moon and the village within it first. Many people were killed and even more are injured," she explained, her voice almost wavering. "I'm sorry, Glimmer."

She left to visit the villagers. Bow took a step closer to the trembling Glimmer before hugging her, placing his chin on her head. Kyle rhythmically patted Swift Wind.

"Bow," Glimmer half said, half sobbed into his chest. "Why does my mum always have to be right?"

"Well, she _is_ immortal," Bow said, chuckling, though it was half hearted. "Look, we'll get Adora back. Who knows, maybe she'll escape before we can rescue her," he tried to comfort Glimmer, despite him looking like he was a second away from bursting into tears.

Glimmer sniffed, looking back up into the dark clouds. "I hope so."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Best friend squad? I only know the Swift Wind, Glimmer and Catra squad. Anyway, putting that aside; Adora will be missed.


	14. It's hard to walk when you can't even crawl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora fights a familiar friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if this counts as canon divergence. But I hope you enjoy the thicc drama.

Noises.

She tried to open her eyes but it was too much work, and kept them shut. Something hurt really badly but she couldn't exactly determine where the pain was coming from.

With a creak, something opened and the sound pierced into her ears, snapping her into consciousness.

_Where am I?_

"Come on," said a voice from above that she didn't recognise. "Get up, traitor. I'll give you a minute and nothing more." The person walked off, though not very far.

She forced herself to sit up, limbs trembling, gasping as fire shot up her back, which her t-shirt seemed to be stuck to. Then she stood up, wincing when she felt tears stinging the cuts on her face, though she quickly wiped them away and tried her best to ignore the pain. Her limbs felt as heavy as lead but she managed to take a few shaky steps.

_What happened to me? What happened to Bright Moon?_

It was dark. She raised both arms, despite it hurting her back, and glanced at her shaking palms, but couldn't distinguish much. Only their outlines.

Her hands flopped to her sides, and she climbed up out of where she was being contained, her body burning. A tank. She had been inside a tank. A Horde tank.

One Horde soldier approached her as she emerged, taser in hand. "Walk, or I'll fry you," he ordered. She didn't know where to walk to. The soldier turned the taser off and nudged her back with it. She held back a cry of pain but couldn't stop herself from tensing up. "Come on. Do you want to make this harder for yourself?"

She stumbled forward, often turning into darker and darker corridors with the soldier's guidance. She had a feeling she knew where she was going. Not Shadow Weaver. Worse. Though she couldn't imagine what could be worse than Shadow Weaver.

After a painfully long time, they arrived in an even darker room, a few people gathered inside and looking up at none other than Hordak himself. She didn't even know what exactly he did, just that he was the leader of the Fright Zone and the Horde, but seeing him was enough to instill fear into her soul.

"Bring the traitor here," Hordak commanded.

Her arm was grabbed and she was pulled along to ascend the steps leading to his throne. Catra, looking equally injured, was kneeling before it, holding She-Ra's sword. Scorpia and Entrapta were standing back, along with some soldiers.

_Why does Catra look like that?_

_Is it my fault?_

"Force captain Catra," Hordak said. "One of the surviving soldiers has informed me that you were spotted with the Princess of Bright Moon and her winged beast."

Catra's tail twitched, but she was silent.

"You watched as She-Ra stabbed two soldiers to death and decapitated one. Tell me. Why didn't you stop her?" Hordak asked, though he didn't sound like he was very surprised.

Catra gritted her teeth. She couldn't stop She-Ra because she hesitated to kill her, which led to her getting injured and being too weak to even stand properly. But Catra couldn't admit that. The value of a Horde soldier was determined by their rank and strength, not because of their individuality. And if Catra said that she was too weak to fight she'd be done for. Demoted at best. She didn't want to think of the worst outcome.

"Well?" Hordak pressed, an edge to his voice.

"I..." Catra began.

"Something tells me that you weren't completely serious about this attack," Hordak tutted. "Could it be that you still have some... _attachment_ to the traitor?"

"No, sir!" Catra said, looking up at him.

"Good," said Hordak. "Because she's going to be executed."

Adora didn't seem very shocked. She shut her eyes for a moment then stared at the ground.

Catra, on the other hand, almost jumped. "What?!" she snapped, but, remembering who she was talking to, quickly bowed her head. "What's Shadow Weaver going to say?"

"It is of no importance what she thinks. I am in charge here," Hordak stated. "Do you have a problem with this arrangement?" Despite his polite words, his voice made it clear that he wasn't going to let anyone disagree with him.

"No," Catra muttered. "I just... wanted to kill her myself."

"Good," said Hordak. "Because you will."

Scorpia, a few metres away, nudged Entrapta. "Damn, Lord Hordak's really dropping bombs on us every second, ain't he?" she whispered.

Entrapta looked up, puzzled. "No?"

"What do you mean I'm going to kill her, Lord Hordak?" Catra asked.

"A fight to the death. Prove to me that you're worthy, and that all of this was just a mistake. If that traitor gets rid of you then I'll know you were never fit for the job."

Scorpia anxiously spoke up. "Lord Hordak, is this really necessary?"

"Silence," he ordered. "I gave Catra a promotion because the force captain of her unit defected. Now she can truly prove to me if she is worthy and should consider this a blessing."

"Yes, Lord Hordak," Scorpia and Catra said in unison.

Throughout the ordeal, Adora was silent, but Hordak finally addressed her. "And you. Will you admit to your crimes, war criminal?"

She nodded, and forced herself to speak. "Yes... Lord Hordak."

Hordak began listing all the soldiers that had been killed in the battle. Their names, their faces, their families. Adora recognised one — the woman who Kyle shot with his slingshot — but that was all. Everyone else must have died when she was She-Ra.

_Just how many people did I kill? When is it going to end?_

_What's wrong with me?_

Adora didn't have the strength to raise her arms and keep her hands over her ears. So she listened. It kept going and going and going. And it hurt again. Just like every other time. Why was she sad? She wasn't the one who was killed.

But every time she heard of each of the latest deaths, she felt like she'd murdered a piece of herself along with each person she'd killed. Torn it to shreds. Crushed it. Set it on fire.

Every time. She thought she could help, but only made things worse.

Was leaving the Horde a blessing or mistake? Choose to live protected and unaware of the atrocities, trapped in a cruel hierarchy where you could be kicked to the bottom in a matter of seconds, or find out the truth, and be free, but always in danger of being attacked by the Horde? Was all the freedom in the world worth fighting for? Was she even free?

Did she even want to save people? Or did she feel like she had to?

"Alright," Adora said, quietly. "Kill me." If her head wasn't bowed, she would have noticed Catra's mismatched eyes lingering on her, and maybe even the red light flickering from the shadows in the corner.

"It is decided," Hordak announced. "Catra will fight the traitor to the death."

Catra stood up purposefully and bowed before descending the steps and trying not to look like her wounds hurt. On the way out, Scorpia's pincers grabbed her hand, taking the sword from her. "Good luck," she said.

"Thanks," Catra said, then glared at the ground. "But I don't need it."

"I would like to give some advice," Entrapta spoke up. "Don't die."

"I won't."

She left to prepare. She didn't have long. Maybe ten minutes. Probably less.

Adora was grabbed by a Horde soldier and led to a cell.

_What do I do?_

Nothing.

She stood in the centre of the cell; if she sat down she'd probably be too weak to get back up. And waited. Waited with a beating heart.

She was scared but didn't know why.

Scared of death?

Scared of Catra?

_I don't know._

Later, a Horde soldier came to pick her up. Strangely, he kept his distance. Was he afraid of her? She wasn't She-Ra anymore. Adora was led down some stairs. And more stairs. Deeper and deeper into the belly of the Fright Zone. It was warmer down there, and the entire place seemed to be pulsing with hidden energy.

She entered an area she had never seen before. There were more cells here, all surrounding a large cage. Adora was pushed into the cage and the door locked behind her, and Catra stood a few metres in front of her. It was loud. Shouts and screams were coming from the cells. But who were in the cells? Adora didn't recognise any of the people inside. _Couldn't_ recognise. They were all so... deformed. Missing body parts replaced with metal contraptions, the people wearing them more metal than flesh; as if they had been saved from the brink of death by a sloppily done surgery, like a tank being repaired, over and over and over again with lower quality metal than the last time and growing weaker and weaker and weaker over time. And then made to fight again and again and again. Who was this torture reserved for?

Every time she came into contact with the Horde she didn't think she could feel more sickened. But they managed to prove her thoughts wrong.

Then again, who was she to talk?

_I'm a killer, too._

She stared at the floor.

Hordak, whose face appeared on a large screen, spoke. "Begin." The screen went black. He wasn't even bothered to watch.

Catra pounced. Adora reflexively dodged even though she didn't really have much desire to.

She deserved to be hit and she would take it all.

Adora didn't move when Catra turned and punched her in the face. She reeled from the hit but her body was too tense to fall, so she stood still, somehow. Catra kept punching wildly, often, accidentally or purposefully, tearing new cuts into Adora's skin. Adora didn't care.

Neither did Catra.

_I hate you!_

Catra punched her again with her other hand. Droplets of blood lay on the floor and more spilled as the large cuts on Adora's face began bleeding again. Adora didn't care.

_Why aren't you fighting back?!_

Catra punched her in the stomach and she stumbled, landing on her back and staring into the fluorescent lamps on the ceiling as the screams grew louder. Blood seeped from her back. Adora didn't care.

"Get the fuck up and fight me, damn it!" Catra growled, grabbing her collar and pulling her into a kneeling position before roughly shaking her. Up close, Catra looked more injured than she was letting on and the cut on her arm had reopened, though her eyes burned bright with rage. "You're gonna fight me with all you've got, and I'm gonna kill—" She paused, staring at something behind Adora. For a second, she looked worried, but refocused on Adora. Grabbing the back of her head, she slammed Adora's face into the floor, leaving a bloody stain behind.

Catra took some time to quickly think things over. She was sure she had seen Shadow Weaver lurking in the darkness, staring right at her as if threatening her. But why was she there?

Adora weakly pushed herself up, arms trembling, before she stood up with the help of the bars of the cage.

 _She's still not even trying to fight back? Pathetic,_ Catra thought, strangely angry. _I should just put her out of her misery._

_But..._

_Shadow Weaver!_

Shadow Weaver hated Catra and loved Adora. If Catra killed Adora in the fight, Shadow Weaver would not rest until she had revenge and wouldn't care what happened to herself anymore. She would play Catra's death off as an unfortunate accident, whether Hordak believed her or not.

Maybe Hordak was never giving her a chance to prove herself. Maybe this stupid stunt was his plan to kill Catra, even if she won, because she had failed and so many soldiers and machines were destroyed. He wasn't watching the fight, which indicated that he didn't really care who won. And if Catra let herself lose, she'd still be killed by Adora in the fight, and if not, she'd be punished by Hordak. Probably death.

Catra wanted to live. Find a way out. But there was no way out. She would die no matter what she did.

She chuckled mirthlessly.

_Means I have to take someone down with me._

_But who?_

_Adora?_

_No. She's almost dead anyway. There'd be no fun in it._

_...Shadow Weaver._

_But how am I going to get her in here?_

Catra had to make her angry. No, more than that. Enraged. Disgusted.

Shadow Weaver didn't want _her_ Adora to be corrupted by anyone anymore.

And Catra was going to do exactly that.

"Hey, Adora," she said.

Adora glanced up, but couldn't reply because Catra was suddenly kissing her, one hand tightly gripping her t-shirt while the other pulled her closer. Catra bit her lower lip. It hurt, but felt good, strangely. She was too stunned to jump back from the sudden warmth buzzing through her face and chest, and by then it was too late.

The cameras shattered and the guard standing outside the cage passed out. Then they were surrounded by darkness, a soft red light pulsing from beneath the shadows. "How dare you!" Shadow Weaver roared in a demonic voice.

Catra stumbled back, ears flattened on her head, shaking, morphing into the frightened child from all those years ago. Adora also stumbled onto the bars of the cage, watching as Shadow Weaver materialised before them.

"You filthy animal!" she yelled, red lightning crackling in her palms before engulfing Catra, who screamed, hair standing up on end. "You're going to Hell for this!"

Adora burned with fury. She wanted to kill Shadow Weaver more than anything. For hurting Catra, hurting her, and then trying to hide it from her by removing memories, good and bad. But she couldn't move. Her limbs trembled from aching so much and her body had cuts all over it, some deep, some not. If she let go of the bars and stepped forward she'd fall. "Shadow Weaver!" she shouted, but was ignored.

Catra groaned. _I need Shadow Weaver to get closer!_ she thought. _Closer!_ She muttered something through gritted teeth.

Shadow Weaver leaned forward. "What did you say? Make it meaningful, because it'll be your last words before you die!"

Catra grinned.

"I said... you're going down with me, _bitch_!" she growled. She managed to break her arm out of the clutches of the lighting, stabbing her claws up into Shadow Weaver's neck. The screams from the cells died down and a hum of shock spread through the room. The lighting faded. Thick, dark blood dripped down Catra's arm, splattering to the floor. Shadow Weaver let out one last primal roar, before slumping to the floor, almost melting.

Catra took in deep, shuddering breaths, blinking away tears as she smoothed her fur down. It was over. Shadow Weaver would never zap her again. She would die knowing she'd killed the person she hated most. Satisfied. Then, whether it was coincidence or magic, the lights went off and the doors of the cage unlocked.

_A way out._

_I can't stay in the Horde anymore. I'm screwed if Hordak sees what I've done, and he will, soon._

_I'm out._

Catra shakily took a few steps and grabbed Adora with her less bloody hand, beginning to pull her out.

"What are you doing?" Adora asked.

"Just run! If we stay here, we're dead!" Catra snapped.

The pair staggered out, falling sometimes but getting back up, fuelled by adrenaline and not really knowing where they were running to. Up. Out. Away from that sick place. A siren began wailing throughout the building. They reached the ground floor and kept moving, but were suddenly grabbed and pulled into a storage closet. Catra almost bit the person but stopped herself when she realised it was Scorpia. She relaxed slightly. "I saw what you did," Scorpia said seriously.

"How?" Catra frowned.

"Entrapta snuck in a robot with a camera so we could watch you. When we saw you kill Shadow Weaver, she hacked into the system to get you out. But you need to get the hell outta the Fright Zone. Like, right now." Scorpia handed her a backpack and She-Ra's sword, looking cleaner than it did before. Catra reluctantly took the objects. "We didn't have much time, but Entrapta and I got some stuff ready for you. Hordak's noticed something's gone wrong. Go to the garage now before the guards catch you. Entrapta's waiting," she said, trying to sound authoritative, but failing.

Catra looked at her. "Thanks," she said quietly.

Scorpia couldn't hold back her tears and hugged Catra tightly, who winced but stayed quiet. "Hope I'll see you again," she sobbed, wiping her face with her pincers. Catra turned to exit, dragging a dazed Adora with her, but paused. A question was nagging at her and she needed an answer.

"Why are you helping me? And how are you going to deal with Hordak if I escape?" she asked.

"Because," said Scorpia. "We're the Super Pal Trio. And we'll find a way."

Catra blinked away tears, unsure of how to react.

_Stupid injuries._

Then she and Adora ran as the siren squealed louder and red lights flashed in the dark hallways. She could hear guards all the way from the next hallway, and quickly entered the garage. Entrapta was crouched near a skiff and jumped as the pair dashed in. "Get on this skiff," she said, tapping the metal surface of the one she was sitting next to. "I patched this one up. It's currently the best one in here."

"Thanks," Catra muttered. She was surprised how many times she'd said that in a day.

"It's no trouble!" Entrapta said, grinning, but it faded, and she pulled her goggles over her face. "Now, go. I'll open the doors." She hopped up near a keypad and pressed a few buttons with her hair. Fresh air burst into the large room and Catra stared into the darkness of the night with wide eyes. She looked back at Entrapta, confused as to why she was taking such a big risk to help her, then the skiff sputtered to life and hovered upwards slightly. Entrapta gave her a thumbs up and they were out, the wind making their hair fly wild.

Catra drove the skiff out of the Fright Zone and steered it into a random direction, not caring where it went. She just wanted to get away. Miles away. Escape all the painful memories.

But that wouldn't happen. Because now she was stuck with the person who'd fucked everything up for her by simply existing. Adora.

Catra sighed. She thought she was escaping the painful memories of the Horde, but they were following her, right behind her, right near her, still churning within her as if branded deep into her skin and into her mind. Now that she was too exhausted to be angry, all she felt was a hollow sadness.

She didn't know what to do, or where to go, but most of all, she didn't know what she would — _should_ — do to Adora.

Her eyes flitted to Adora, who was facing the opposite direction. Her hair waved softly, but all Catra could stare at was the deep cuts in her back. She shook her head.

_Don't feel guilty._

Catra gritted her teeth.

_I just want her to admit how much she tore me apart. How much she took from me. How she made me think I was insane. Is it that hard?_

_Why did I want her to come back so badly?_

_Why can't she just own up to everything? Shadow Weaver's dead. There's nothing to hide._

Catra didn't know what to do. Her anger had faded into nothingness and she lacked the rage she had before. Would killing Adora make things better?

"Catra," Adora spoke up. Catra turned her head slightly to see Adora staring right at her with empty eyes. "I need to tell you something. Something about Shadow Weaver."


	15. I hate everything about you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora have a calm and respectful discussion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter is boring. There's not really any action.

The only sound was the whirring and clunking of the skiff. No pursuers behind them. At least, not yet. An odd, almost ethereal silence blanketed the muddy plains on the edges of the Fright Zone as they left behind the industrial rumbling, and the sky seemed stuck between dark and dawn. So far, it was a smooth ride and no steering was required. Catra was escaping the pollution of the past but she couldn't take a deep breath for the freshness of the future — her ribs hurt too much for that. Adora stood facing her like a crumbling statue, showing only a fraction of the power She-Ra radiated.

"What makes you think I want to listen to you?" Catra growled.

Adora was unsure of how to start and her previously solemn look faded. "Because...I want to apologise."

"For what?" Catra stepped forward in a weak attempt to intimidate her. "Say it."

"I'm sorry," Adora said, quiet and expressionless. She wanted to cry it out but she didn't feel like she deserved forgiveness. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't know—"

"Didn't know _what_?" Catra's rage suddenly returned and her blood boiled so much she was surprised it wasn't leaving her as red steam. "That Shadow Weaver was hurting me almost every fucking day? You saw it! You saw it a lot! And then you lied to my fucking face!" Catra took a few breaths as if just the act of shouting had worn her out. She placed her hands against the edge of the skiff behind her to hold herself up. "Tell me. What did she offer you so you'd keep quiet and not hate her? I wanna know. What did she give you that was so... so _amazing_?"

"She didn't give me anything." _I had no idea it was that bad. Every day? And I only saw it... I don't know. I have so many new memories_. Adora clenched her fists so hard that her palms began hurting again.

"Don't lie to me! I can tell you're lying!" Catra was lying. She could usually read Adora's face pretty well — they had grown up together, after all. But now she couldn't. Adora was no different from the robots at the Fright Zone and it was as if she was staring right through Catra at something a million miles away.

"I'm telling the truth. She erased my memories."

"What the hell are you on about?"

"Every time I saw her hurt you. With her lighting. In my head."

"What?" Catra shook her head. "That's..."

"You don't believe me?"

"Why _should_ I?!" Catra snapped. Adora suddenly grabbed her wrist and pulled her close so they were staring at each other. Catra winced as the wound on her arm stretched from the motion of being pulled, but made sure she glared into Adora's vacant blue eyes, which were betrayed by the furious tension in her grip. "The fuck are you doing? Let go of me!" She tried to pull her wrist back but she lacked the strength, cursing internally.

"Listen to me," Adora said, her hand moving to hold Catra's upper arm, pulling her closer. When she spoke, her voice was low. "She tied me to a table." Her free hand moved up to clutch at the side of her head before clenching into a fist. "And then... I don't know how to explain. It felt like— like she took a burning red knife and stabbed it into my brain. Again. And again. And again." She hit her head each time, grimacing as if there really was a knife piercing into her, but still making an eerie eye contact with Catra, not blinking even once. "Has she ever done that to you? Did you ever feel like your eyes were going to explode? Did you want to bite your own tongue off and break your bones? Did you beg her to kill you and then wake up and forget everything that happened?"

Catra slowly shook her head. Shadow Weaver had never targeted one specific area like her brain with her all lightning. And it hurt like she'd had all her skin torn off and was then set on fire. If Adora was telling the truth, then she didn't even want to imagine how it felt all in her head. Catra shuddered. She was always glad that Shadow Weaver hadn't fucked with her head as much as she did with her body. But losing her own memories and having her mind warped all the time? Catra wouldn't know who she was anymore and would rather take a beating than be a fractured mess. No wonder Adora was such a total psycho.

"Well, she's dead now," Catra grumbled. "No more lighting. Hooray."

"I just wish I could have killed her myself," Adora said, sounding uncharacteristically vengeful.

_For what she did to Catra. And what she did to me._

Catra managed to tear her arm out of Adora's grip and growled. "Alright. I get it. Shadow Weaver's messed us both up." She was still angry at Adora but, strangely, her hatred of Shadow Weaver had multiplied by a million. "I should have killed that bitch slowly and painfully instead of giving her a quick—"

Adora stumbled forward and Catra instinctively caught her, worry shrouding her face. But only for a second. Catra separated from her, dropping her into a seated position before dusting her hands off with a look of disdain.

_Is that why she grabbed me? To keep herself standing up?_

"I hate you. You understand?" Catra said, looking down at Adora, who was quiet. "I still _hate_ you." She appeared to be unconscious. Catra didn't know why she felt like she had to say she hated Adora, but it didn't make her feel better.

"I know," Adora muttered, surprising Catra after a few moments, her head still bowed in submission.

Catra felt even more infuriated and crouched down near her, grabbing her by the throat and shoving her back against the wall of the deck. Adora held back a hiss of pain as her wounds collided with the metal. "When did you get so _weak_?" she asked, squeezing tightly with both hands and ignoring Adora's struggling. "You hold some stupid sword and all of a sudden you're some giant crazy Princess, and now you can't even stick up for yourself! Fucking hell, what happened to you? You used to be strong! Better than me! Aren't you going to get angry? Tell me you hate me? Say I deserved to be hurt by Shadow Weaver? What's wrong with you? Say something!"

Adora, unable to pull Catra's hands off, kicked her in the stomach and the pain radiated all the way up her body, making Catra gasp and clutch her sides, curling in on herself as her vision went black for a few moments. Shit, shit, shit. It felt like she'd been hit by a skiff. Clutching her head, she waited for the blackness to fade.

She blinked away tears and noticed the red marks forming on Adora's neck, but her gaze quickly shifted once Adora started coughing and taking in deep breaths.

_What have I done?_

_I'm not as bad as Shadow Weaver!_

_I can't be._

_Otherwise she's won._

_She's messed me up and made me just like her._

"What do you want me to do?!" Adora yelled, grabbing the edge of the skiff and shakily pulling herself up, her voice rough but rejuvenated by emotion. "What am I supposed to do?!"

Catra stood up as well and opened her mouth to reply, then paused.

_I... I don't know._

"Alright. I hate you too," Adora said, glaring at the metallic floor. "I hate _everything_ about you! I've always hated you since we were kids! I'm glad Shadow Weaver hurt you! And I wish She-Ra killed you! Is that what you want to hear? Are you happy now?" she cried, but was unable to hear Catra's reply as her blurry vision blurred further and she was unable to support herself anymore. She crashed down to her knees, fatigued by blood loss and pain, and fell on her side.

 _What_?

Catra was frozen in place. Something about hearing the real Adora — not the one in her nightmares — say that to her face made her feel like she was being repeatedly stabbed in the heart with a rusty spork and her blood was slowly seeping out into the rest of her body, drowning her. It was already hard to breathe and now it was worse. Her heart felt like it had stopped. She would take Shadow Weaver's red lightning if it meant she'd never feel that... feeling again. What was that?

_I don't know._

But she felt relieved, too. Her worst fears weren't irrational. She was right. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't crazy. She wasn't crazy.

_I'm not crazy. I knew all along that she hated me! Take that!_

Catra chuckled, "Wow. You've finally been honest, for once." It was pointless, though. Adora was out. Catra began cackling loudly now despite the pain it caused her and tears sprang to her eyes from how intense her laughter was. Her shoulders shook violently, and she didn't know when it happened, but her laughs became sobs and tears warmed her cold face.

"Shit! The fuck is wrong with me?" she muttered a minute later. Ashamed, she rubbed her tears away with the back of her more clean hand — the one that hadn't been used to kill Shadow Weaver — and forced herself to stay calm despite her urge to cry.

Leaving Adora lying on the floor, Catra stalked off as far as she could. Not that far. The skiff wasn't large. She grabbed the backpack Scorpia gave to her when they escaped and opened it. Rummaging through it, she pulled out a bottle of water and stood at the edge of the skiff, trying to wash the blood off her hands — annoyingly, it had stuck to her fur. She had contemplated on whether or not to use it to wash her hands, but she didn't want anything belonging to Shadow Weaver on her anymore. And if she was going to patch herself up she needed to not be covered in blood. She had more water in the bag anyway. Soon, her hands were looking more recognisable, though unfortunately, she couldn't bandage the wound on her arm properly and gave up. Worn out but feeling more calm, she sat near the steering wheel.

Shutting her eyes for a few minutes and listening to the whistles of the birds outside, she tried to take some deep breaths without hurting herself too much. One eye cracked open and looked at Adora, her still form covered in early morning light. Catra then opened both eyes, watching Adora's body rise and fall as she breathed in and out, her wounds visible through the torn fabric of her t-shirt. When Catra inflicted those wounds on She-Ra it felt justified — just the sight of the giant Princess was enough to enrage her — but now, looking at the normal sized Adora, Catra wondered if she'd gone too far. It was painful.

_No. Shut the fuck up. She deserves this!_

_Why haven't I killed her yet? I hate her. And she hates me._

Adora would be a liability if kept alive and Catra had no idea where she was going. But that was why she wanted her to stay. A small part of her was glad she wasn't alone and had her friend with her.

_But why?_

"I don't understand," she murmured, looking up into the pale blue sky.

A few hours later it was bright. Golden light bathed everything beneath it and Catra squinted up at the cloudless, deep blue sky in awe. In the Fright Zone it was always so shadowy, sullen, dismal and dull. She stopped the skiff, as they had headed toward a forest and she wasn't bothered to start steering yet.

Adora had woken up an hour ago, her hand immediately reaching behind her in a defensive way, but finding no sword. She stumbled over to where She-Ra's sword was propped up and shining in the sunlight. Adora picked it up with trembling arms and ran a hand over the smooth, flat part of the blade. When she saw Catra holding it in front of Hordak it was covered in blood.

The blood of all the people she killed. She shuddered, remembering the long list of names Hordak had read out.

The pain of remembering her experiences with Shadow Weaver made her temporarily forget the battle at Bright Moon, and now she was shaking with worry. Judging by Hordak's and Catra's reactions back at the Fright Zone, it looked like they weren't very happy, so the attack had been unsuccessful. But she still didn't know if her friends were okay.

And Catra. Who injured her? Did Adora do that?

The hands of guilt crushed her heart and she dropped the sword to the floor, flinching at the clanging sound. "Catra?" she called. Catra was facing away from her, crouched on the edge of the skiff, and her tail lashed like a whip. Adora noticed that the tip of it was bent at an unnatural angle. She sighed. "Catra."

"What?" Catra turned and glared at her, though it lacked energy. Adora finally noticed that she wasn't wearing her mask. She looked different without it. More... soft. Though that wasn't a bad thing. "What do you want? Don't you have better things to do, like hating me? Or are you going to deny everything you said?"

Adora cringed. "Catra, I didn't mean that! I don't hate you and I don't want you dead," she said, taking a few steps closer to Catra, who scooted away like she had some contagious disease. "I thought... I just... didn't know what to say."

_Why did I say all those things, damn it?_

_I hurt her. Like I always do. I hurt her just as much as Shadow Weaver hurt her. Maybe more._

_She'll never forgive me._

"Whatever. Now what do you want?"

"What happened when I was—"

"A giant killer Princess? Well, you killed a bunch of Horde soldiers and you broke my mask and tried to kill me, your girlfriend and her dog. You caused a lotta trouble."

_So it's my fault she's hurt._

_What's wrong with me?_

But Adora didn't understand what Catra meant by her 'girlfriend'. "Who's that?"

"The short sparkly Princess!" Catra snapped, omitting the part where that short, sparkly Princess saved her from being decapitated by She-Ra. It made her look pathetic.

"Glimmer?"

_How could I do something like that to my friends?_

"Whatever."

"I'm so sorry," Adora muttered, unsure of who she was apologising to, sitting down near the wall Catra was on and making sure her back didn't touch it. She pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them. "Why does this always happen? Why can't I control She-Ra? Why is it so difficult?" Then she heard Catra hop down and land beside her.

"It's your fault," Catra said, grinning as she shuffled closer. Adora looked up as Catra wiped a tear off her uninjured cheek. When did she start crying? "You probably don't have a good connection with the sword because..." Catra placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed tightly. "Deep down, you still hate the idea of being a Princess." Her grin was wider now.

Adora slapped her hand away. "No! That's not true!"

"You're lying," Catra said. "You're not even fucking looking at me." When she said that, Adora avoided looking at her even more. "So, what are you? A double traitor?"

"No," Adora said, sounding uncertain. "Just because... That doesn't mean I'm against the rebellion!"

"Do you betray all your friends, or was it just me?" Catra wasn't smiling anymore.

"Catra, shut the hell up," Adora said bitterly.

But Catra was right about how she felt. Despite Glimmer and the other Princesses' kindness, Adora was still reluctant to call herself a Princess or transform into one. She felt guilty about it, but growing up in the Horde made her hate Princesses before she even met one in person. Of course, she didn't feel that way anymore, but she still couldn't completely let go of old feelings.

Just like how she was an enemy of the Horde, but felt immensely guilty and ashamed every time she killed a Horde soldier as She-Ra.

Just like how she was Catra's enemy, but...

"Language, Adora," Catra growled, annoyingly unaware of the fact that she swore every few sentences. A tiny flicker of relief sparked inside her, though. She had grown tired of Adora acting like nothing in life mattered and was strangely glad that she had said that to her. And Catra hated that she felt that way. Her ears twitched and she grumbled.

"I'm sorry."

"Forget it. Turn around."

"Why?"

"Calm down. I'm not gonna kill you or anything. I'm gonna bandage your back, since you can't do it yourself."

"But..."

"I'm not going to offer again."

Adora swivelled around so her back was facing Catra. "Why are you doing this?"

"'Cause you look like an idiot."

"That doesn't— never mind."

A few seconds passed as Catra took a few rolls of bandages and a water bottle from the backpack and came back.

"Uh..."

"What?"

"Your clothes are kinda... _stuck_... to your skin."

"Just do it."

Catra suddenly pulled her t-shirt up and Adora couldn't stifle a yelp. She covered her mouth with one hand while the other squeezed her own knee.

"Looks bad," Catra murmured. "How the hell do I fix something like this?"

"You should know," Adora groaned. "It was—"

"—Covered in force captain orientation. I get it," Catra said, reminded of Scorpia, a grim smile forming on her face for a brief moment. "I didn't go but your nerd ass did, right?"

"What's a n— _Ah_!"

"Sorry," Catra mumbled, moving the water bottle away.

"You're not supposed to pour water directly into my cuts," Adora said through gritted teeth.

"If you know better then why don't you do it?"

"You offered!"

Catra was silent and tore off a piece of the bandage, pouring a few drops of water on it and trying to rub the blood off Adora's back without touching the deep scratches.

"Hey, Catra. Are you the one who did this to me?" Adora weakly asked after a few minutes. She was already ninety nine percent sure it was Catra, but she just wanted to check.

Catra was quiet for so long Adora thought she wasn't going to reply. "Yeah, it was," she finally said. "I made the ones on your face, too."

There was silence for a few more minutes.

"Why didn't you kill me back in the Fright Zone?" Adora spoke up again.

Catra sighed as she rubbed hard at a blood stain. "I had bigger things to worry about. If I killed you Shadow Weaver would kill me." Her blood boiled at the thought of that woman. "It— It wasn't because I liked you."

Adora was quiet for a bit but continued. "Um..."

"What?"

"What did you do to me? In the cage?"

"I kicked your fucking ass, that's what I did," Catra stated the obvious, tilting her head, making one ear flop to the side.

"No. Not the violent stuff. You did this weird thing with my face... and your face..."

"Huh?" Catra thought for a moment, her hands stopping in their movement, and her eyes widened with shock. "Holy shit. Are you brain damaged or something? Wait, don't bother answering. I know you are."

"Hey! I'm not brain damaged—" Adora began, twisting her upper body to face Catra, but flinching at the pain of it. She gave up and moved to her old position. Catra started to wrap the bandages around her back and she shivered every time Catra's fuzzy skin made contact with her stomach. It was really ticklish. She didn't say anything for another few seconds. "So, what was it?"

"Fuck. You're serious, aren't you?" Catra sighed.

"Of course I'm serious."

"I kissed you," Catra grumbled, and carried on, "but not because I liked you! Don't give me that look! I just wanted to piss Shadow Weaver off so she could get close and I could kill her. I can't fucking believe you didn't know what a kiss was."

"So that's what it's called," Adora muttered, remembering when she saw Glimmer kiss Bow on the cheek in Plumeria. At the time she didn't really question it because she assumed it was something only Princesses did.

Bow. Glimmer.

Adora had to get back to her friends. But she didn't know what Catra was planning — if she even had a plan. They'd have to think about that. And they'd probably disagree on things. Well, she'd deal with that later. "Hey," she said.

Catra's ears twitched. "What do you want now?"

"Do you want me to bandage your arm after this?"

Catra was thankful that Adora couldn't see her face as she anxiously chewed her bottom lip. "If you insist," she muttered. "But I need to fix your damn face, first. Why are you trying to help?"

"Because... we're friends."

"I thought you hated me."

"I didn't mean it! You practically _begged_ me to say all those things." Catra was about to retaliate but was interrupted. "And _you're_ the one who hates me."

Catra smiled ruefully. "'Guess you're right, for once," she said, shrugging and tying the bandages together. "It's done. That's the best I can do," she continued as if nothing had even happened and squeezed Adora's shoulder before releasing her, not noticing her bowed head and shaking shoulders. "Now turn around."

*

Machines hummed, lights flickered and electricity pulsed throughout the Fright Zone. A nervous tension hung in the air after the events that had taken place merely a few hours ago. Two guards on patrol traipsed around, their shoes tapping on the metallic floors inside.

"Did you hear?" one said. "The force captain who led the attack on Bright Moon defected and took the traitor with her!"

"So that's why the alarms went off. Man, I wish we coulda been the ones going after them," the other sighed. "It'd be more exciting than walking around in this shithole."

The pair turned a corner, not noticing the dark clump looming above them from the air vents. Once they passed, the dark clump materialised into a more humanoid figure, wrapping dark tendrils around the bars.

"Soon..." it growled feebly. "I will get them back and make them mine _forever_."


	16. Hold me now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swift Wind mourns and She-Ra is still evil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. This chapter was kind of painful to write. I don't know why.

Swift Wind neighed mournfully as he stood over the charred remains of a stable in the village. Head bowed, wings folded, tears falling from his closed eyes. Kyle watched him in wonder, still unable to comprehend his existence. "How?" Swift Wind muttered. "How was I foolish enough to not set you all free before you burned to death?" He stomped a hoof into the ground. "The next time I see those Horde scumbags I'll avenge you, my brothers and sisters!"

"Kyle!" Bow called, carrying a box of small wooden logs. "Stop staring at Swift Wind. He's been standing there for like, five hours. Come help us!"

"Oh, right!" Kyle ran back to Bow after his short break, who looked considerably less cheerful than he did a day before. He placed his hands under the box Bow was carrying and managed to raise it to the height of their waists, shaking with the effort. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm not injured or anything. I'm just worried for Adora," Bow sighed. "What about you?"

"Huh?" Kyle blinked a few times and almost tripped over, since he was walking backwards, but regained his balance. "Oh. I haven't told you this before, but I killed someone," he said in a very quiet voice.

"What?" Bow gasped, looking around. "Who?"

"No, not today! Yesterday. A Horde soldier. I almost threw up," Kyle said, leaving out the part where he didn't sleep at all that night. "I'm just so confused. And scared. Why did I even leave the Horde?!"

Bow placed the box on the floor and wiped the sweat off his brow, before distributing some logs to villagers who were planning to use them for their campfires. "You said nobody really cared about you."

"Oh. Yeah. That's true. I don't even know if they've noticed I'm gone."

"Hey, Kyle? What do you think about Princesses?"

Kyle thought for a moment. Why was Bow asking that all of a sudden? Whatever. It didn't matter what he asked — being talked to was enough. "I don't really know much about them. The Horde said they were violent and stuff and they killed a lot of our soldiers, but most people in the Horde aren't really any better," Kyle explained. "But I'm scared of She-Ra. That Princess is pure evil. No offence."

"That's not what I expected you to say," Bow said, in deep thought.

"What do you mean?"

"When we captured— I mean, met Adora, she was all like: Princesses are monsters!" Bow imitated in an angry voice.

"What's this about Princesses being monsters?" Glimmer asked. Bow and Kyle jumped. She must have teleported to them without them noticing.

"It's what Adora said a while back," Bow said.

Glimmer's smile faded slightly. "Yeah... I'm worried about her. I just wanna find her as soon as possible."

"Me too, Glimmer. But your mum has a point. We need to get this place looking somewhat normal again before the Horde strikes back."

"Right. I just wanted to let you know, but almost half the tents have been set up," Glimmer said.

Bow looked up at the orange sky, squinting as the last rays of sunlight shone into his eyes before the sun could completely sink away. "That's good. We might be able to get them all ready before tomorrow."

"Yeah, but then we have a whole bunch of other stuff to think about. Like the crops, and the water supply, and—"

"Hey, relax. The guards and other Princesses have helped a lot. We're working quicker than we thought we would."

Sea Hawk sauntered toward them. "Greetings! Have you forgotten about me?" he asked.

Mermista and Perfuma also followed, looking exhausted. "He didn't forget," Mermista said in a dead sounding voice. "He just knows you're useless."

Sea Hawk's moustache drooped and he started mourning with Swift Wind.

"Thanks for helping," Glimmer said to Mermista and Perfuma. "You didn't have to do this. How can we repay you?"

"You don't need to!" Perfuma said with a weak smile.

"Yeah," Mermista said. "All I really wanna do is take a nap."

Then they prepared to leave and everyone said their goodbyes. "Send a letter when you're ready," Perfuma said.

"Ready for what?" Bow asked.

"To get our friend back!"

"Oh. I will!" Bow smiled, waving as the two Princesses went their separate ways. Sea Hawk hopped into Mermista's arms and shouted a hasty farewell, then they faded into the distance. Glimmer got a bit closer to Bow and wrapped an arm around him. "What's up?"

"I'm just scared."

"Yeah. Me too. But I'm sure she's okay."

*

"We're dead!" Catra shrieked, ducking as a ball of electricity flew past her head, making her hair stand on end. She steered the skiff to the side as another skiff attempted to crash into them, but almost ran into a tree. She was surprised the Horde soldiers had taken so long to reach them — not that she was happy they were there.

"Catra, be careful!" Adora warned, trying to steer, but Catra was hogging the stick and ignored her, violently steering to the left. The skiff frighteningly lurched to one side and Adora held on to the closest thing nearby. Catra's tail.

"AAAAAAHHHHH—"

More electricity zoomed past them and the skiff really did crash, spinning around until it came to a stop. The pursuing skiffs slowed down and circled them. Catra, not knowing what to do, grabbed She-Ra's sword and thrust it handle first to Adora. "Hey, Adora. Turn into that psycho Princess and kill them all!" she yelled.

Adora took the sword, eyes wide, frowning with distress. "Are you _insane_?" she asked. "I'm not going to hurt them!"

"So what are we gonna do, huh? Persuade them to leave us alone?" Catra rolled her eyes, watching as the Horde soldiers cautiously approached, tasers and knives in hand. They were afraid of being killed by She-Ra, which was buying some time, but soon Catra and Adora would be captured or killed. Catra didn't know what Hordak wanted to do with them. And she didn't want to find out. But their skiff hadn't been blown up yet, so Hordak probably wanted them alive so he could punish them. "Give that!" She grabbed the sword from Adora's hands.

"Hey!"

"What's the password?" Catra asked, glaring at the engravings on the sword, only noticing the knife flying towards her face until it was too late. Something knocked into her and she fell, dropping the sword, the knife narrowly missing her and burying itself into the skiff. The impact with the floor sent a shock through her ribs and spine and she cried out in pain. Her vision was almost black but she saw a dark, fuzzy figure looming over her, and she curled up, terrified.

_Fuck. It's Shadow Weaver._

_And she's here for revenge._

_I don't want her to hurt me again._

"Catra! Are you alright?"

But it was just Adora, sounding terrified.

Despite Catra's hatred of her, Catra was glad it was her and not Shadow Weaver.

_Why am I happy? I hate them both!_

She couldn't say anything, though. She couldn't move. Fire burned in her lungs. Her limbs ached. Her tail ached. The cut on her arm burned under the bandages. And she was staring up at the orange sky, fighting the blackness in the edges of her sight.

"Catra! Please don't die!"

Adora's voice sounded like Catra was hearing her from under water and she couldn't open her mouth to reply or she'd drown. A warm hand clasped her own and squeezed. It felt nice. Like it was trying to let her know she wasn't the only one drowning. But it hurt, too. Like a reminder that Catra was sinking deeper and deeper.

Catra didn't seem like she was going to reply and Adora finally stood up, clutching the sword tightly with one hand and glaring ahead. She held the sword up and stared at it for a second before whispering to herself. "Please don't let me kill anyone." Then she raised it with a shaking arm. "For the honour of Grayskull!" she yelled, using all her strength to keep control over herself.

Gone was the girl and in her place stood She-Ra, also wearing bandages like Adora, but that was where the similarities seemed to end. She stepped up onto the edge of the skiff, her glowing blue eyes locked in a piercing stare, looking right at one of the pursuing skiffs. Freezing in terror, the Horde soldiers lowered their weapons. But they quickly remembered their original mission and charged forward. She-Ra jumped, dodging knives and crackling balls of electricity before stabbing her sword into the ground, making the earth below them wave like a stormy sea. Skiffs fell on their sides and soldiers were unable to balance.

She-Ra hopped onto the deck of one skiff and jammed her sword deep inside it before tearing it out, feeling something move behind her. She stepped away before a knife could stab into her and it harmlessly sailed past her, hitting the floor with a thud. Then a ball of electricity slammed into her stomach and she fell to her knees, letting go of her sword. A Horde soldier stood before her and pointed their knife at her throat. She-Ra wasn't afraid. She grabbed the soldier and lifted them into the air like it was nothing, before spinning them around and chucking them so far away it was like they'd disappeared. Dead or alive, she didn't care.

Another soldier stabbed at her from behind but she twisted in time, the knife only piercing a small hole into her red cape. In a second, She-Ra grabbed her sword and swung it down onto the soldier, slicing them cleanly in half. Blood splattered and organs spilled out. Screams from the other soldiers echoed. But they just kept coming. She swung again and ignored the new cuts on her body. More blood. She couldn't tell if it was hers or the soldiers'. Her sword was red. The ground was red. And it was silent. Until her shoe splashed as she stepped into a puddle. That was red, too.

She-Ra looked up. The sun was gone and its only remnants were the orange-pink clouds, swimming in the deep blue of the night sky, their glow fading. Then her glow faded, too, and she was gone.

Adora looked down. Her sword dropped into the blood enriched soil. "What..." She brought her hands up, inspecting them. There was no blood. But she felt like she'd never be clean again. Morbid curiosity made her look around despite her terror and crushing guilt and she saw corpses littering the floor. Some were intact while others were slashed beyond recognition, becoming a mangled mess of meat and metal.

Adora took a few weak steps forward, her head swimming, before stumbling and falling against a skiff. It was the only thing keeping her upright. Her entire body shook and she slid to the ground, unable to breathe and unable to get back up, her ears ringing insistently as if trying to keep her awake and suffering.

Part of her wanted Shadow Weaver. Most importantly, her red lightning. Adora wanted to forget everything that happened.

But at the same time she didn't want to forget. It was her fault people had died and she deserved the punishment.

_I knew this would happen._

_But I still did it._

_Why did I do it?_

_Catra..._

_Is she okay?_

She couldn't move. She feared that if she tried to stand she'd fall down. Her teary eyes watched blankly as it got darker and darker. Finally, her limbs stopped trembling and she pulled herself up, wiping her tears away, hating how weak she was. Adora quickly examined the new, painful cuts on her arms and torso. They weren't deep, and must have been inflicted on She-Ra by the Horde soldiers. Then she trudged over to the skiff Catra was on and climbed in.

Catra was now sitting on the deck of the skiff, eyes shut, but the sound of Adora landing near her made her open her eyes. "Are they all dead?" she asked, but noticed the dead bodies after looking around. "Holy shit. Okay."

"Aren't you sad?" Adora asked after a long pause, not looking at her and instead focusing on her own upturned palms.

"About them dying? Nah. They would have killed us or taken us to Hordak so he could kill us even more painfully. I would've killed them myself if you hadn't knocked into me like that. Think you cracked my ribs even more," Catra said.

"Sorry. I didn't know."

"Really?" Catra raised an eyebrow. "Well, let me fill you in. Back at Bright Moon, your crazy giant Princess mode threw me into the ground!"

Adora was quiet and momentarily pressed the heels of her palms into her shut eyes, trying to focus on the dark, swirling colours in her head.

"Hey," Catra said. "What's wrong? Don't tell me you're sad about killing—"

"Of course I'm sad!" Adora snapped, moving her hands from her face and taking in a shaky breath to stop herself from full on sobbing in front of Catra. "More than that. They had lives, too. And they didn't know any better. I was just like them."

Catra condescendingly shook her head. "Oh, Adora," she sighed. Her tail, which was bandaged at the end, curled around Adora's wrist. "You know that there's no good side or bad side, right?"

"What?"

"The rebellion killed Horde soldiers, too. Lots of them. You probably don't remember, since you're _you_ , but there were lots of dead Horde soldiers who were killed by the Bright Moon guards. Just lying there in the water."

"Catra, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that nobody knows better. There's death everywhere. Killers on both sides."

Adora stood up and Catra's tail unwrapped itself from her wrist. "Okay," she said, barely audible. "Let's get out of here."

"Why? I'm fucking tired," Catra rubbed her blue eye. "Haven't slept since... yesterday. I think." Got up, went to Bright Moon, fought She-Ra, went back to the Fright Zone, escaped the Fright Zone at night and travelled in the skiff until it was dawn. Then travelled until sunset without rest and got attacked. Here she was.

"Don't care," Adora said, starting up the skiff. "I can't stay here." She shook her head, wanting to be as far away from the grisly scene as she could.

"Aren't you going to take your sword?" Catra grumbled, pointing at the sword lying on the ground a few metres away. Adora didn't say anything and Catra sighed, sluggishly hopping out of the skiff and gingerly picking up the sword before returning.

The skiff rattled to life and left the area, barely lifting itself from the ground. After a while they came across a river and jumped off to refill their water bottles and wash off as much dirt that they possibly could. Catra was hungry. They had eaten some energy bars from her backpack but that was a few hours ago, and she quickly stalked off to find something.

"I need to pee," Catra called over her shoulder.

Adora didn't acknowledge this and looked up at the trees, trying to check if the fruit on them were safe to eat. It was too dark for her to see them properly, though.

Sighing, she went back to the skiff and opened Catra's backpack, sorting through it. She pulled out a small, blue blanket and shoved it back in before finding a matchbox.

When Catra returned, out of breath, she slumped down beside the small fire Adora had set up and plonked a dead bird down to the floor. Adora had some apples. "Do you want one?" she begrudgingly asked.

Catra shook her head. "Nah, I got myself this." She then proceeded to stuff the bird into her mouth. Well, she would have, if Adora hadn't yelled at her.

"Don't eat it raw! There's a fire here."

"Okay, okay. What are you? Shadow Weaver?"

Adora visibly cringed but straightened herself in an instant.

Once they were ready, they went back to the skiff. It was better than lying on the floor because the grass was kind of damp and bugs would crawl on them. At least, that's what Catra said.

On one side, Adora curled up into a ball, as there wasn't much room on the skiff, and on the other side, Catra tried to do the same. Tried. It was agony to lie down no matter what position she was in and she kept twisting and turning every few minutes. Time passed in an endless silence. Occasionally, she heard some animal chirping and the bushes rustled. It felt like she'd been trying to sleep for hours and she wanted to tear her hair out from discomfort. Catra then tried to sit up and sleep, but leaning her back on the small metal wall hurt too much, and if she didn't lean on anything she'd slump forward and hit the floor after dosing off. She didn't want to go through the pain of falling again.

Growling, she rubbed her eyes with her fists and looked around, noticing something moving. Her eyesight was still good in the darkness. Adora was lying with her back facing Catra, shaking. Was she still awake? How had Catra not noticed that before? Catra shuffled towards her and tapped her on the shoulder. Adora looked up but rubbed her eyes with her forearm before sitting up.

"Did I wake you up?" she asked, her trembling voice sounding loud in the dead of the night.

"No. I wasn't sleeping," Catra answered.

 _I can't_.

Then she noticed that Adora had been crying. Her eyes were very shiny, despite her efforts. "You cry really quietly," Catra said.

Adora sighed, staring at the floor. "I _have_ to."

"What's wrong?"

Adora hesitated. Why was Catra asking? Was she trying to get information? Unlikely. She'd defected, too. After a few seconds, she decided to speak. "I was just remembering something. In Bright Moon, when I wasn't She-Ra, I saw a bunch of people die. Villagers and— and Horde soldiers. A woman got her throat slit and he— a soldier — was gonna get her baby, but then I cut his hand off and he ran away, but that wasn't even the worst one I can remember."

"Huh?"

"A lady. Yeah. She was going to stab me, and then she just stopped moving, and Kyle shot— and she got shot right in the head with a metal ball and I heard her _skull_ just— just _crack_. And she fell and lay there and stared up into the sky and blood came out of her head and... fucking hell," Adora muttered, covering her mouth. "I didn't think it could be worse than Thaymor. I'll never forget that. Never."

Catra was quiet.

"You know," Adora continued, "part of me is glad I don't remember anything that happens when I'm She-Ra. But I also want to know. I can't just brush aside all the people I killed."

"Want me to tell you what I saw you do?" Catra asked her.

Adora thought for a while and then slowly nodded.

"Well, I was with your pal Sparkles and her dog, and then you walked up to us, and these Horde soldiers were there and you straight up stabbed them all," Catra said, shrugging. "I think you cut off a dude's head, too. That's all I saw. Then you got captured. It's funny. I'm the bad guy, but I've killed less people."

"I see."

A pain that almost felt good stirred within Adora. But at the same time, she wanted to tear her skin off. Catra had already torn her back and her face but it wasn't enough. She deserved to be tortured for her sins. Her hands clutched the sides of her head and she leaned her chin on her knees, which were pulled up to her chest. Her body shook harder.

Catra felt a flicker of guilt. She was aware of how affected Adora was by killing others and had purposefully tried to rub salt into her wounds. It didn't feel as good as she expected it to. Catra shuffled around a bit more, growling a few times, and Adora lifted her head to watch her.

"What?" Catra asked once she noticed.

"Does— Does it hurt?"

"Course it does. I'm in fucking agony just trying to sleep."

More guilt boiled inside Adora. It was her fault Catra was in pain. "If you want..." Adora began, suddenly shy, unsure of how to phrase her offer. She lowered her knees and placed her hands on the floor. "You can—" She stopped and grabbed Catra's uninjured arm, tugging her closer until Catra's hair was tickling her face and their bodies were touching.

Catra unconsciously moved closer to her warmth, glaring half heartedly. "Okay," she muttered, adjusting herself so she was sitting between Adora's legs and leaning against her, forehead resting in the crook of her neck. It was less painful this way. And much softer than leaning on cold metal. "This is not because I like you," she said into the fabric of Adora's t-shirt. She closed her eyes, lulled to sleep by the sound of Adora's heartbeat.

"Okay. Good night," Adora mumbled into Catra's hair, hoping she wouldn't have nightmares and wake her up. It just felt nice. So nice to hold someone. Even though she didn't deserve to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora: she-ra please don't kill anyone  
> She-Ra: please kill anyone?  
> Adora: no I meant-  
> She-Ra: iF yOU sAy sO


	17. Back in Bright Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More deep, thicc and philosophical discussions. Kyle and Adora question the production of apple juice and Catra is slightly less mean.

"This is a most interesting predicament," Hordak said, resting his cheek on a clenched fist, elbow leaning on the arm rest of his throne. His voice chilled the group to the bone. "The former force captain and the traitor fled after killing Shadow Weaver. How they did that, I do not know." He paused for a few moments, tension rising. "But that's not what the focus is. Yesterday, I sent a group of my soldiers to capture them."

"And what happened, Lord Hordak?" one soldier, who was standing guard, asked with worry in his voice.

Hordak glared. "It is most likely that they are all dead. Massacred by that Princess. She-Ra." What a nuisance. He should have taken the sword from Catra the moment she entered his room instead of letting her give it to the other force captain, Scorpia. When the sword and Catra mysteriously disappeared, Scorpia was his first suspect. Unfortunately, the security cameras had stopped working and he had no proof of what happened. Entrapta said she'd been trying to fix a broken camera but accidentally cut off all the power, and Scorpia said the sword was stolen from her room.

A screen behind him started playing a sound recording. Zaps of electricity were heard and then screams echoed throughout the room, footsteps pattering and metal being destroyed. Something fell with a wet thud. More screams. Silence. The recording ended.

The group of soldiers in the room stared at each other in horror. But Hordak's goal wasn't to scare them. No. He wanted them to be angry. "Your fellow soldiers fought bravely for a better Etheria," Hordak began. "But that Princess murdered them in cold blood. She is the face of the rebellion and represents everything we fight against!"

"Yes, sir!"

"I fixed this wasteland, I wiped out those... _beasts_ , and I turned the Fright Zone into the place it is now. And I want to do the same to the rest of Etheria. Under my rule, this world will be one of order and prosperity! That is why we must stop those Princesses. And whoever brings the traitors back alive for execution will be greatly rewarded."

"But, Lord Hordak, who is going to become the next force captain of their unit?" a soldier asked.

"Someone who can be more ruthless than the traitors ever were."

*

The sweet whistling of birds filled the air. Apart from that, it was mostly quiet. Adora and Catra stood — well, Catra was standing and Adora was pacing around — beside the river, half watching the golden rays of the rising sun shine on the smooth surface of the water, half arguing. It was still cold, but the light warmed them up a bit. Catra wasn't in a good mood after being woken up so abruptly less than half an hour ago. Adora had apologised profusely for suddenly waking and jumping up in fright, knocking the feline over and grabbing the sword, which she then pointed at her.

"I'm not joining that stupid rebellion!"

"Then what are you going to do? Where are you going to go?"

"Away. I wanna get away from this."

"What's _this_?"

" _All_ of this!" Catra raised her arms and spun slowly for effect. "The Horde! The rebellion! This stupid fucking war! I'll spare your life and let you go back to your dumb friends, but I'm out!"

"Catra... You could—"

"No. I'm not interested," Catra snapped. "Especially not after you fucked everything up for me. It's your fault I can't go back to the Fright Zone."

"How is it my fault?" Adora asked and stopped walking, trying not to get angry. " _You_ failed to destroy Bright Moon." She stepped closer to Catra. "And _you_ offered to execute me. And _you_ killed Shadow Weaver, which is the reason why you had to run away and why Hordak's after us."

"Alright! Sorry I didn't kill you! Don't make me regret it," Catra muttered. "But Shadow Weaver was a bitch. She deserved to die."

"I'm thinking about your safety," Adora said, going back to what they were previously talking about. "You'll be safer if you go to Bright Moon. The Horde could get you if you're out alone and injured."

"I'm not injured!" Catra growled, but had to take a moment to breathe. "Fine, let's say I did decide to go to that stupid place. Light Moon or whatever," she sighed, deliberately pronouncing it wrong to annoy Adora. "The place I led an attack on? The attack that killed a buncha people? Does that ring a bell, Adora?" Catra tapped the side of her own head with a claw. "I'd be fucking executed!"

"Oh, yeah. But—"

"Maybe you should just let me do what _I_ want. I'm perfectly capable of fighting!"

"Fighting a group of soldiers? That's really dangerous!" Adora replied.

Catra glared at her for a moment and then her face went almost expressionless, though her tail whipped from one side to the other. "What are you trying to say? You think I'm some kind of _weakling_?" she said in an eerily calm voice. "I don't want your help. When are you going to get it through your head— "

"I don't think you're weak," Adora interrupted. She jerked her thumb over her shoulder, trying to point at her back. "You did that to me." Then she pointed at her face. "And that. And you bit me, too. And it all hurts like hell. I wish we didn't have to be in this situation, but we have to deal with this — I have to fight. I don't want to fight _you_ , but I can't just _leave_ the rebellion either."

"But you want to, don't you? You're tired of it," Catra got closer, looking into Adora's eyes with her own hypnotising ones.

Adora looked away. "What I want doesn't matter. All I need to do is fight."

Catra scoffed and turned away, crouching down beside the river. She picked up a stone and chucked it into the water, making a small splash. "You know what?" she grumbled, her tail curling around herself. "You left the Horde because you found out you were being manipulated into doing bad things, but you're still just a tool. Nothing's changed. You're just... working for someone else."

"Huh?"

"Risking your life for some stupid cause," Catra hissed, throwing another stone. "Those Princesses don't care about you!"

_Not like I do._

_Wait, no!_

_That was an accident. I don't like her._

"That's not true—"

"If you didn't have that sword—"

"I know," Adora admitted. Although she had become friends with Glimmer, Bow and the others, she probably never would have gone to Bright Moon in the first place if she couldn't transform into She-Ra.

"You're so easily manipulated," Catra said after a few seconds. "It's almost pitiful."

"Catra, the only one manipulating me right now is you!"

"I'm not!" Catra turned, but shrieked when she saw something on the floor and crawled away into the shade of a tree, her fur standing up on end.

"What?" Adora looked down to see a rock. "It's just a rock." She crouched down and shuffled past it, getting closer to Catra. "Are you okay?" she asked, anxiously looking Catra up and down but hesitating to touch her. Was Catra hallucinating? Was it caused by a lack of oxygen because she couldn't breathe in deeply enough?

Catra felt some sort of relief that Adora seemed concerned for her, but wasn't going to admit that. "I'm fine," she muttered, not angry enough anymore to say it meanly. "That rock... A second ago it had legs. And a head. And it was moving." She shuddered.

"There's nothing there now," Adora said, picking up the strange, domed rock and placing it back down. "Really?" She turned to Catra. "Being scared of mice is understandable, but a _rock_?"

"That was one time! Shut the fuck up!" Catra said, thankful that the burning of her face wasn't visible. "I'm telling you, it was crawling!"

Adora got closer and sat beside her, their shoulders almost touching. Catra didn't make an effort to move away. "Okay, I'll wait," Adora said, and after a while, a small, grey head and four short limbs extended from inside the rock. And it began crawling, to her surprise. "It's... it's a _rock_ horse," she whispered, ignoring how Catra was tightly squeezing her arm.

"I don't give a fuck what it is. It's absolutely disgusting," Catra murmured, eyes shut and ears flattened.

"You're not even looking at it." Adora's eyes then caught sight of something more interesting. "Woah! Look over there," she said, pointing.

Catra opened her eyes. And she regretted it. On the other side of the river was a furry creature standing on four legs, its coat a dusty, light brown colour. A long, rounded tail lay on the ground behind it. She was slowly becoming less enthusiastic about staying alone outside. She didn't want to admit it to anyone or even to herself, but she was hurt. She couldn't run as fast as she could before without losing her breath and feeling the familiar ache in her ribs. She was exhausted. And if she got hit there by an animal like _that_ she'd probably die.

_Fucking hell. Why is hiding in some dumb Princess town starting to sound less shitty the more I stay here?_

Meanwhile, Adora was trying to hypothesise what the animal was. It had a tail like Catra's and according to Glimmer Catra was a cat. But she didn't walk like a horse, like this big animal with a cat tail that walked like a horse. And her ears were more pointy. This strange animal was also significantly furrier than Catra. "It's a fuzzy horse," Adora said, nodding intellectually.

"I want to get out of here," Catra said through gritted teeth, trying to smooth down her puffed up fur before Adora could properly notice. "This entire place is freaking me out."

Adora just stared at her.

Catra growled. "Take me wherever you want to, damn it." She scampered to the skiff a few metres away and climbed on. They were low on fuel, but she was sure there was a back up somewhere in a compartment — there usually was — and she began poking around.

"Oh," Adora said despite the fact that Catra was gone. Then she too scrambled into the skiff, wincing at a sharp sting in her back. She shouldn't have moved so quickly. "What you said before was right, though. The Queen would want to punish you really harshly if you came back with me." She dusted her hands on her t-shirt. Nothing changed.

"But you have an idea."

"Yes. I'll... I'll sneak you in."

Catra pulled a face. "Huh. It's not like you to break the rules. Usually you're such a people pleaser," she muttered to herself but made sure she was loud enough for Adora to hear. "Why are you going against your new pals for an ex-Horde soldier?"

Adora didn't know how to answer that but finally mumbled, "Because. I want to. You're my friend. And I'm an ex-Horde soldier, too."

"Alright," Catra sighed. "I have some conditions, though." Her face grew serious. "I am _not_ going to help you fight the Horde. And I'm certainly not going to side with the rebellion. And once I feel better I'm gonna _leave_. And I still..." A long pause.

"Still what?"

"I... Nothing."

_Damn it, am I getting too soft?_

"Alright," Adora said, turning away from her.

The skiff rumbled to life and the pair departed from the area, heading to Bright Moon and hoping they were going in the right direction. Catra curled up and let Adora steer. She was too tired to care. Annoyed at her discomfort, she shifted around every few seconds and gave up, standing at the very front of the skiff.

No more words were exchanged on the way to Bright Moon, not even on the breaks they took every few hours. One time Adora noticed a group of horses — normal looking horses — galloping along a field. Neither of them knew what a group of horses was called. It didn't matter to Adora, though. She watched in awe as they passed by, and they were gone. Meanwhile, Catra shuddered at the sight of them, but also confusingly felt a twinge of irritation.

_What's so appealing to her about those stupid things? They're creepy as shit._

By dusk, they had travelled far, entering the frozen remains of the Whispering Woods and stopping before they could reach Bright Moon. They had to stay in the woods or the Bright Moon guards would notice the skiff and get suspicious. The skiff crawled to a stop and Adora stood still. Catra yawned and tried to stretch but suddenly tensed up, remembering that she was injured. "Why are we just standing here?"she asked.

"I think I should tell my friends the truth."

"What?! You said—"

"I did. But I'd feel bad about lying to them."

"You didn't feel bad about lying to me," Catra muttered, crossing her arms. " _I'll be back soon,_ " she mimicked. " _You won't even notice I was gone_. And the next thing I saw was that you joined the Princesses."

"Are you going back to that?" Adora asked, clenching her fists, though it wasn't out of anger. "I'm sorry, Catra, but I didn't know that the Horde attacked innocent villagers. Lots of people got hurt. I _had_ to leave."

Catra scoffed. "Yeah, but you didn't care when it was me getting hurt."

A very long pause. Adora looked away, the energy leaving her body.

_So that's how she felt. Like I ignored her. Abandoned her._

_Even though I couldn't remember anything, she did. She felt it all for her whole life._

"Catra..."

Remorseful wouldn't even begin to express how she felt.

"Doesn't matter," Catra said, dismissively waving a hand. "Just try not to get me executed." Adora gave her a look and jumped off the skiff, investigating the area. She walked off somewhere. Catra sat down and waited, her tail waving side to side in... boredom? Agitation? She lightly dragged a claw over the bandage on her arm and listened to the little scraping sound it made.

_For the first time, I actually wanna shower. Plus, it's fucking cold here._

She shut her eyes and listened. Chirps and flaps and fallen leaves crackling and rustling. After a while, she heard footsteps. Definitely Adora's. That idiot could be heard from a mile away. "There's a way to get in without the guards spotting us," she spoke without getting into the skiff. Catra picked up her backpack and was about to get out when she noticed She-Ra's sword. Groaning, she grabbed the handle and began pulling it along with her.

"Do I have to do _everything_ around here?" she muttered, following Adora.

After a mildly annoying climb they peeped through a window. "This is a Princess' room?" Catra mumbled. "It's..." She didn't know why she was surprised. She always knew the Princesses were ridiculous.

"Uncomfortably large," Adora continued quietly, pulling herself into the room. "Glimmer? Are you in here?" she called. Silence. She was about to pull Catra up, but when she turned the feline had already managed to get in. The pair entered Adora's room after checking that the hallway was empty.

"This is fucking weird. I can't believe I'm in here," Catra said, standing beside the door, glancing around at everything. She placed the backpack and the sword down. "It's so damn..."

"Pink?"

Adora initially perched on the edge of her bed as if she was afraid of getting it dirty, but stopped caring and flopped onto her side. It wasn't as good as her old bed in the Fright Zone, but compared to the small, cramped interior of the skiff it was like lying on a very soft cloud. She sat back up and sighed. "You're right. This _is_ weird. You wanted to destroy Bright Moon and now you're here," she muttered.

Catra blinked and noticed that she'd been staring. "Well, I'm on nobody's side. Not the Horde, or the rebbelion," she replied. "But I'm gonna destroy this place for _real_."

"Yeah, well, I'll just have to stop you when the time comes," Adora sighed, not understanding why Catra still wanted to attack Bright Moon. She wasn't bothered to ask, though, and didn't want to argue again. She forced herself to stand and went to her table, looking in the mirror, not knowing what to make of the claw marks on her cheek. It looked just as painful as it felt, but fortunately it looked to be healing. Too bad it would leave scars forever. Behind her, she saw Catra still near the door, who looked away. "You know, you can sit down if you want," she said, walking to a sink. She began washing her hands and face.

Catra raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. I knew that. It just feels better like this."

"Okay," Adora said and grabbed the hem of her t-shirt, before pulling it up to wipe water droplets off her face. Catra tried not to stare. "I'm gonna find Glimmer. Stay here, okay?"

_Still, how am I going to explain to Glimmer?_

_"Hey, I got kidnapped and then forced to fight my best friend to the death but then she did a kiss on me and killed Shadow Weaver and then we ran away but I'm back now!"_

_Well, I'll think of something._

Then Adora walked past Catra and left the room without a word. The door shut behind her and Catra's ears twitched at the sound. She was alone. Completely exposed in the large, quiet room. Vulnerable. Like she was being watched from all around her.

Almost an hour later Adora returned in a flash of sparkles with Glimmer, who disappeared and returned with Bow and then Kyle. Adora looked around, noting that Catra was nowhere to be seen.

"I still can't believe this," Glimmer muttered, teleporting and landing. "How did you get back?"

"I told you this would happen. The other Princesses are gonna be so happy when they receive our message," Bow said, arms shaking. He grabbed Adora and squeezed the life out of her. She fortunately didn't flinch from the pain too much. When she found Glimmer she was able to get her wounds looked at by a healer and she'd been given some pills too, though she forgot what they were for.

Adora sat on her bed and prompted the others to do the same. "Well..." she began, nervously scanning the room. "I could go into more detail."

"Yeah! All you said to my mum was that someone helped you escape," Glimmer said, lying on her back while her shoes were still touching the floor.

"Hey, where's Swift Wind?" Adora suddenly asked.

Kyle laughed but it quickly ended, and a guilty look flashed across his face. "He was really sad about a bunch of other dogs— I mean, _horses_ dying in a barn fire, so he stole some villager's bottle of whiskey and got drunk. Then he started screaming that he was going to set himself on fire for retribution. But he's okay now," he explained. "It's sad, but kinda funny. I know I shouldn't laugh, but..."

Adora almost chuckled. _I think I wanna set myself on fire for retribution, too,_ she joked in her head.

"I don't think it's funny," Bow said, holding both hands over his heart. "That's so... _tragic_."

Everyone was quiet and they looked at Adora so she could tell her story. "Uh..." she said, swinging her legs back and forth as they hung over the edge of the bed. She looked around with worry evident on her face, loosely gripping the bedsheets in her hands.

"You okay?" Bow asked. "You don't have to tell us if you're uncomfortable."

"It's fine. I got put in a cage with Catra and we had to fight to the death—"

"What!?" Glimmer suddenly yelled and sat up, making Kyle and Bow raise their eyebrows. "Did she hurt you? I'll find that rabid little pest and skin her alive!"

"No!" Adora shook her head. "Actually, she did scratch me a bit and she strangled me, but I'm okay now. It's thanks to her I escaped. She killed," she hesitated, "Shadow Weaver."

Bow and Glimmer gave each other a strange look. Kyle was confused.

"That's still not okay. You can't let her hurt you just because she killed Shadow Weaver and let you escape," Bow said, shuffling closer to Adora.

"Yeah," Glimmer said, crossing her legs. "I'm glad Shadow Weaver's gone, though. She seemed like an abusive asshole."

"Abusive?" Adora mumbled. She scrambled to her feet and frantically shook her head. "No. That's— That's a little extreme. It's not like she was— It's not like she was beating me up every day."

_That probably happened to Catra, though._

Glimmer sighed, rubbing the sides of her head with her palms. "You know, it doesn't have to be super violent to be abusive. It sounded like she'd been hurting you for years! That fucking bitch... No offence."

Adora shrugged and was quiet for a few moments. "Um... I need to tell you something," she said in a small voice. "I brought Catra with me."

"What?!" everyone screamed.

"Where is she?" Kyle asked.

"I don't know," Adora said, unnaturally calm. "I left her here and she's gone."

Bow and Kyle looked around in panic and Glimmer teleported multiple times, screaming. "Crap! Why would you do that? What if she's escaped and she's killing people or something? You should have told my mum about her so she could get a proper punishment."

"Catra's my _friend,_ " Adora said, surprised at the conviction in her voice. "If I told your mum she was here she'd be executed."

"Yeah, well, maybe she deserves it! It's thanks to her that so many guards and villagers were hurt and killed!" Glimmer said, crossing her arms. "Why are you defending her?"

"Hey!" Bow placed both hands on her shoulders and squeezed tightly, but not tightly enough to hurt her. "Execution is a _Horde_ thing. It's what they tried to do to Adora. We're not going to be like that. Never," he said solemnly, staring into Glimmer's eyes. Glimmer relaxed slightly.

"You're right," she muttered. "But I just... don't want to start lying to my mum again. And I'm never going to forgive Catra. If it were up to me, I'd kill her." Bow gave her a look. She turned to Adora. "But you care about her and I care about you, so... I guess we have to try to not let her get killed. I still don't get why you want that, though."

"Oh, well... me too," Adora said, then she panicked for a moment. "I mean, I care about you too."

Bow smiled. "I'm gonna pop out for a moment. You're probably hungry, right?" he said. Before she could reply he had left the room and soon returned with a tray. "The chef is here!" he announced and placed it on the floor. They sat down. "Have you found any sign of Catra?"

"I know she's in here. She's hiding, though," Adora said. She'd spotted Catra's tail almost poking out from between the back of the closet and the wall. She had no idea how Catra managed to squeeze herself into that gap but stayed quiet. If Catra was hiding she definitely didn't want attention. "Trust me."

"Okay," Bow said, nodding nervously, but trusting his friend. He picked up a bottle and started filling the cups on the tray with a strange liquid.

"Is that beer?" Kyle asked.

"It's apple juice." Bow poured for everyone and put his cup to his lips.

Adora thought for a moment. "I know apples exist, but apple _juice_?" she commented. "Do you have to milk the apples or something?"

Bow started coughing and his apple juice dribbled down onto his clothes. " _Milk the apples?_!" he gasped. Glimmer laughed and she didn't know if it was directed at him or Adora.

"No, that's not how it works," Kyle quietly corrected. "Apples aren't mammals, so they can't make milk. Therefore, apple juice is apple blood."

Then Glimmer started laughing and slapped her knee. Bow joined in and Kyle and Adora stared at them.

"So, how is apple juice made?" Kyle asked once their rambunctious laughter had died down.

"I dunno. Just squeeze out the juice," Bow said.

"But what's the juice?" Adora asked.

"The apple juice."

After that, Bow handed Adora a packet containing something called "cookies" and apologised for not being able to find anything more filling. He then gave everyone a bear hug goodbye and left with Kyle. Glimmer was next and said that if Adora needed anything she would be in her own room. Just as she was about to teleport away she noticed the movement of a tail from behind the closet, and rolled her eyes as she disappeared.

Adora was now alone. "Hey, Catra," she called. The tail moved but she got no reply so she kneeled near the gap. Catra was there and crawled out, coughing and shaking the dust out her fur. "Do you wanna wash?" she asked.

"Course I do," Catra mumbled, standing and patting herself down. "But there's only a waterfall."

"Yeah, you're gonna have to use the tub. You can go first."

"Okay. But what do I do with my clothes?"

"I could try washing them with soap and then let them dry, if you want to keep it. But for now you could wear some of mine. Well — they're not mine, but Glimmer gave me clothes she never wore because she wears the same clothes every day—"

"Alright," Catra sighed and walked off as if that was the end of it, but stopped. "Hey," she said, not turning to face Adora.

"What?" Adora tensed up, worried that Catra was going to insult her or make her feel guilty about something.

"I don't regret attacking Bright Moon or hurting you during the battle," Catra began. "But. well." Her tail lashed out a few times and she clenched her fists. "When I strangled you on the skiff. I didn't enjoy it. I felt like _her_." They both knew who that was and they shuddered. "Fucking hell... In fact... I felt disgusted at myself." Those last parts were forced out from between gritted teeth, so quiet that it almost sounded like a low growl. "And I shouldn't have kissed you without asking," she said, even more quietly.

Adora blinked.

_Is Catra apologising?_

_I don't know if I should be happy or hurt._

"Well, it was kind of good—" She was unable to continue because Catra pulled off the upper part of her outfit without warning. Adora almost teleported from her shock and placed her hands over her eyes. "You could have warned me," she muttered.

"You're acting like you've never seen me naked before. Calm down, dumbass."

Later, they were both done cleaning up. Catra, smothered by towels to dry her fur, reapplied bandages and took one of Adora's pills. Adora felt much better than before and stared out the closed window into the dark sky. She'd had to shut it because the wind was freezing them half to death, and Catra curled up on the edge of the bed.

"Good night," Adora said quietly. She lay on her side, watching Catra's ears twitch in her sleep as time passed. She hadn't moved much. For once Adora was glad the bed was so squishy.

Adora didn't know what tomorrow — or the days following — would bring. But she knew that she was going to work as hard as she could to protect people. From herself and from She-Ra. And whatever the Horde was going to throw at her, she'd have to be ready for. But that wasn't the most important thing on her mind, now. She needed to sleep and be energised. Stretching a bit, she shut her eyes and focused on the warmth beside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that this chapter was boring. The next chapter will have more action. Thanks for reading!


	18. Out from under

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Glimmer get chased by giant boars, Catra gets possessed, Adora gets lowkey crazy for a moment and Lonnie takes on a new role.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to come out.  
> Anyway, there's a time skip of a few days between this chapter and the last one.

Thaymor looked like a wreck. A complete and utter wreck thanks to the Horde. Obviously, Adora saw herself responsible for the tragedy that occurred not long ago, and was trying to help get the village back to normal. Or at least somewhat normal. Being in Thaymor again brought back memories but she pushed them down and focused on the tasks at hand. In the short time it had been unoccupied, giant animals began claiming the place as their territory and breaking down the houses each time they got repaired. The villagers were pacifists and wouldn't fight. Queen Angella, seeing no better options, decided to send Adora (who of course accepted now that she was somewhat better) there with her sword to chase the animals away. Glimmer accompanied her just in case they needed to speedily teleport out of a situation. Bow, Kyle and the other Princesses were helping out in the Bright Moon villages, a few miles away from where the two girls were. Catra remained hidden in Adora's room for the past few days. Apart from an argument with Glimmer, she hadn't spoken to any of the other Princesses.

"Where are they?" Adora muttered, hiding behind a bush and scanning the area. They'd been searching for hours and consciously staying so still for so long was beginning to annoy her. Glimmer, who was beside her, teleported around to check. When she came back she was shaking her head.

"Nothing," Glimmer grumbled. The pair crouched there scratching their heads like numbskulls. If Bow was with them he would have noticed the glowing red eyes in the dark forest behind them and screamed, but unfortunately he wasn't. The ominous creatures began trotting closer, the leaves rustling as they snorted out through their large snouts. Finally, Adora noticed and turned to stare right into the crimson eyes of a huge boar with tusks the length of her body.

"What... _is_ that?" she whispered.

_Demon horse._

"Holy fuck!" Glimmer shrieked and grabbed Adora, teleporting away before the large jaws could clamp down on them. Once they were at a safe distance Adora pulled her sword from her back and glared at the boars running towards them.

"Sorry, but I might kill you," she muttered, raising the sword. The wounds on her back protested as she moved but she ignored it. "For the honour—!"

"Wait!" Glimmer yelled and grabbed her arm, teleporting them even further away. "Are you _sure_ you want to do this?"

"Huh?" Adora lowered her sword and stared at Glimmer's sparkly eyes. They looked more concerned than usual. "What do you mean?"

"Whenever you turn into She-Ra you come out more messed up than you were the last time. And the last time you were She-Ra you got kidnapped by the Horde!" Glimmer said seriously.

Adora blinked. "Yeah. I know," she said. "But it's my fault this place got messed up so bad and those animals came here. So I need to—"

"Ugh!" Glimmer groaned like Mermista. "Can you stop saying it's your—"

Another boar crashed through the trees, sending branches, twigs and leaves fluttering all over the place, and Glimmer was caught off guard. She was unable to teleport them both away because she had jumped back to avoid a flying branch, and a boar was rushing straight at her. Fortunately, Adora tackled Glimmer out of the way. Unfortunately, they tumbled down into a ditch. Adora groaned as pain shot through her back but quickly managed to scramble to her hands and knees to look for her sword, which she dropped when she jumped Glimmer. After finding it and grabbing the handle, she shakily stood up. The boar wheeled around to face her, but was blinded as She-Ra appeared.

In an instant, the boars changed their demeanor, stopping in their tracks to stare at the glowing Princess. One boar's snout was only a few centimetres away from her and Glimmer watched with her hands over her mouth to silence herself. Slowly, She-Ra stretched out a large hand and placed it on the top of the boar's snout, looking like she was trying to communicate somehow, but was unable to do it verbally. It slowly trudged away and its companions began to follow. Whether it was out of respect or fear of She-Ra was unknown.

Glimmer teleported to She-Ra and tapped her arm. A few seconds later, Adora was back, nervously looking around. Glimmer quickly explained to her what happened in that brief moment and Adora chuckled. "What's so funny?" the Princess asked.

"A beast talking to another beast," Adora muttered, stabbing her sword into the ground and staring forlornly as she leaned on it to support herself.

"Hey. You okay?" Glimmer asked, placing a hand on Adora's forearm.

"Yeah. Just worried about stuff."

Worried about leaving Catra in Bright Moon alone. Worried about the Horde. Worried that she'd never control She-Ra and be stuck hurting people forever.

"Uh... Adora. Your face," Glimmer pointed out.

Adora brought a hand to her cheek and winced, noticing that her plaster had fallen off, exposing the deep scratches on her face. "Sorry," she mumbled, turning away and pulling the sword out of the ground before beginning to walk off. Glimmer, puzzled, followed her.

"Seriously," Glimmer said from behind her. "You can be honest with me. You were fine before you transformed—"

"Of course I was!" Adora whirled around and snapped, but froze, shocked at the way she'd reacted. "I acted like I was fine with it, but— I'm not. But I do it anyway. Damn it, I'm such a monster the only thing I've ever talked to as She-Ra was a bunch of... A bunch of _demon horses!_ " She flung her fist out into the trunk of a tree and the sound made Glimmer flinch. "And... I'm scared." She pulled back her hand, staring blankly at her bleeding knuckles, and then lowered it. "I should be getting better at this, but you know... I feel like I'm getting _worse_. I killed people. I could have hurt you. And I hurt Catra," Adora muttered, staring up into the pale blue sky through the leaves.

Glimmer straightened herself, unsure of what to say. "You convinced a pack of wild boars to leave without attacking a single one, and I'm really glad you were honest with me, for once. So don't you dare call yourself a monster," she said sternly. Adora was silent like the Princess she had previously transformed into and Glimmer sighed, hesitantly taking Adora's uninjured hand. "Come on. Let's get back to the village." They slowly walked off without speaking.

*

Catra was going insane. At least, she thought she was. In the room was a dark, blob-like creature, and it was talking to her in Shadow Weaver's voice.

"Where is Adora?" the blob roared in a surprisingly loud voice, expanding. Catra rubbed her temples. Maybe she was sleep deprived? Did she catch some weird Princess illness and it was making her hallucinate? "Where is she?!" it roared louder, growing taller until it finally had the form of Shadow Weaver. Of course, not the real Shadow Weaver body — Catra had killed that one — but the ancient, decaying soul that had inhabited that body, now desperately clinging to life.

 _Holy fucking shit. It_ is _her._

Catra's body shook but she glared defiantly. "You know, I thought you were dead—" she began, but Shadow Weaver roared like a thunderstorm and her shadows engulfed the entire room

"Tell me now!" Shadow Weaver screamed.

"I ain't t-telling you shit. P-Pick a Hell and— and rot there, you _whore_ ," Catra said through chattering teeth, grinning as she said so. She was mad at Adora but Shadow Weaver was the bigger enemy; Catra wouldn't let her get what she wanted.

With a shrill scream, Shadow Weaver lunged forward too quickly for even Catra to react. The girl was coated in a black, tar like substance. Suffocating, Catra tumbled to the floor and frantically clawed at it, but her hands simply went through it as it seeped into her body, soul and mind.

_Fuck! I'm losing it! I can't die! Not like this!_

_**I will find Adora no matter what,** _the deep, ceremonious voice echoed in her head as if it was reciting something holy.

_No!_

**_She belongs to me! You both do! Accept your fate!_ **

Catra struggled more but her efforts were in vain, and after a few minutes, the shadow had completely entered her body. She lay on the floor, body limp, eyes shut, when they suddenly opened and she confidently rose to her feet. She inspected her claws and grinned as memories flashed in her mind. "So... Adora's in Thaymor? I guess I'll be paying my pet a visit," she cackled.

Then she hopped out of the broken window and ran in her new vessel, still laughing maniacally, entering the woods. It was time. Time to get Adora back and own her forever. Shadow Weaver thanked Catra's body for making this possible. For once, the feline had been of use in her pitiful life.

*

Glimmer saw a light in the distance, her eyes widening in terror once she realised what it was. A Horde tank trundling towards the barely recovering Thaymor. Gripping her cape, she gritted her teeth so hard that it hurt. Adora had seen the tank too but her face was lacking an expression so far. "It's okay," Glimmer said, trying to reassure the both of them. "It looks like there's only one. Let's get the villagers to safety before it can attack, and then we can confront it."

Adora just nodded and helped Glimmer herd the villagers back to their temporary camp a bit further away, before staring right at the tank through the silhouette of the trees with conflict swimming in her eyes.

"Adora?" Glimmer asked, glancing up at her. Adora's face relaxed and her glare disappeared.

"I'm going to do it. I'm going to kill them," she stated plainly.

"Wait! They might not be looking for a fight!" Glimmer argued.

"They're the _Horde_ ; they're always looking to fight," said Adora, shaking her head. "And since when did you get so against me transforming? You were fine with it before recently."

Glimmer frowned. "I was an idiot and... well, before you got kidnapped, I didn't think enough about how it affected you. I'm sorry I made you feel like you had to transform to help us," she said.

Adora shook her head. "No, you didn't force me. I forced myself." It was clear that arguing was getting them nowhere, so she began walking towards the tank, a bandaged hand gripping her sword like it was her life. Hesitantly, Glimmer followed.

"Look, I get that it sucks to kill people. But all those times before, if you hadn't killed Horde soldiers then they could have killed more innocent villagers," Glimmer said, still trying to persuade her.

"Doesn't matter. I'm just as shitty as they are." Adora kept walking.

Glimmer groaned. "I don't freaking get you!" She teleported in front of Adora but was gently nudged away by her. "You're guilty about killing Horde soldiers... so you're going to kill _more_ of them?!"

Adora stopped walking. "Yeah. I've tried not to hurt anyone. Believe me. But the more I try the worse things get," she said, staring Glimmer down. "So I'm going to stop caring." Glimmer wasn't going to budge though. Adora stumbled back after feeling a stinging sensation on her cheek, ears ringing, and realised that Glimmer had slapped her. "What was that for?!"

"I haven't known you for long, but I'm disappointed," Glimmer spat. "Not caring about anything is the worst thing you can do! That's why those Horde soldiers are bad! They don't care about what they do as long as long as it benefits them!"

Adora sighed, suddenly looking guilty. She slouched, too tired to look confident. "Glimmer—"

A fiery blast would have scorched them if Glimmer hadn't teleported them away and the grass they were standing on was black and burnt. The pair nodded at each other, agreeing to work together to stop the tank, and ran forward, taking cover behind trees every so often. The hatch at the top of the tank popped open and a few soldiers jumped out, including Lonnie. Adora internally cursed.

It was just her and Glimmer against them. Adora stepped out from her hiding space and Glimmer slapped herself on the forehead.

"What are you doing here?" Adora asked, threateningly pointing her sword at the group. The soldiers got into fighting stances but Lonnie raised a hand and they lowered their weapons.

"Heard about how this place was being rebuilt. Just wanted to destroy it for fun," said Lonnie, shrugging.

Adora shook her head. "Hordak wouldn't waste time and soldiers for destroying an already demolished village," she said. "Why're you _really_ here?"

Lonnie raised an eyebrow. "To take you back, traitor," she growled. "I got that weird Princess to make us some spy birds so we could find you. And now you're all alone. We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. I don't mind."

Glimmer suddenly teleported into the area. "We're not doing it any way!" the Princess roared, showering everyone in sparkles. Adora took her chances and lunged forward to the nearest soldier, avoiding their punch and jabbing the handle of her sword into their gut. Winded, the soldier fell over. Nearby, Glimmer also teleported to a soldier and kicked them in the head. Lonnie growled, not sure who to attack. She decided to jump Adora, pulling out an electric baton and swinging it, though it narrowly missed and Adora's hair only stood up on end.

"Lonnie, I don't want to hurt you," Adora said, raising her sword to guard herself.

"Good," Lonnie mumbled, swinging again, hitting the sword and sending a jolt up Adora's arm. She dropped the sword and it hit the grass with a thud and Lonnie found her chance. Glimmer was preoccupied with distracting the remaining two soldiers and was unable to help.

"Why are you even doing this?" Adora asked, jumping back and feeling the crackle of electricity brush against her stomach.

"Cause I'm the new force captain! And I gotta prove myself," Lonnie growled, charging wildly and throwing multiple punches now that Adora was empty handed. "Let's see how good this rebellion has been training you!" For a few seconds, Adora managed to knock Lonnie's fists away until a sting of pain in her back made her tense up and Lonnie punched her face so hard that even her own arm hurt from the impact. Colours exploded in Adora's vision and she stumbled into a tree, having to hold onto it so she didn't fall over.

Something attacked Lonnie before she could get in another hit. Catra, fur bristling and teeth bared, crouched over the girl, slashing at her with her claws. Lonnie screamed.

"Catra!" Adora yelled and tried to walk, but fell to her knees because everything was spinning.

Glimmer teleported and grabbed Catra, pulling her away. "What the hell are you doing?!" Glimmer cried. She'd planned to knock Lonnie out, not completely disfigure her! Her arms, which had been protecting her face from Catra's claws, were torn up and bleeding badly.

Catra hissed and Glimmer let her go, deciding to check on Lonnie. Adora was injured, too, but she wasn't bleeding heavily and wasn't as much of a priority. Catra went to Adora and crouched beside her, cupping her cheek and gently stroking her thumb over where a bruise was forming.

"Catra?" Adora asked, confused, staring up at her with unfocused eyes.

"It'll be all right, my darling," Catra muttered, a big grin on her face.

"What—" Everything went black. At first she thought she'd fainted, but something was engulfing her and she was too weak to fight it. Adora heard a faint voice, Glimmer's, shouting and felt hands trying to free her. It didn't work. Before she blacked out completely, she heard another familiar voice, loud and clear in her mind.

_**You are mine. And you will be mine forever.** _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit's probably gonna go down in the next chapter.


	19. You're not you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof. I'm back from the dead! Sorry this took long to come out. I've been working on another story at the same time as this so the progress was a bit slower.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Glimmer groaned, frantically running her hands through her fluffy pink hair, making it stand up at odd angles. It would have been funny if she hadn't just seen a demon possess Adora. She shook Adora a few more times and turned to Catra — who was sitting nearby and coughing — with venom in her eyes. "What the hell did you do to her?!" Glimmer grabbed Catra's shoulders and shook her hard. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't fucking kill you right now!"

"Easy, Sparkles!" Catra snapped, but with genuine, underlying terror in her voice. She shoved Glimmer off her and scrambled closer to Adora's still form, eyes nervously scanning over her body. "It was that fucking piece of shit Shadow Weaver!" Glimmer's blood went cold at the mention of that woman. "I don't know how, but she just jumped into my body! Fuck!" Catra lowered her head and pulled at her own hair.

Glimmer grumbled to herself but decided that Catra was probably telling the truth. After all, who else could manipulate darkness but Shadow Weaver? She glanced back and forth between Adora and Lonnie — who had managed to sit up but was still hunched over in agony, blood dripping profusely from her wounds. Shit. The giant scratches on her arms looked serious and Glimmer had to help somehow, but bandages weren't enough; Lonnie needed to be stitched up.

"Adora!" Catra yelled and shook the motionless girl, growing more panicked as each second went by. "You can't let her get in your head! Please!" Adora's eyes opened and the pair watched each other for a few seconds, then she jumped up as if she wasn't even hurt, making Catra stumble back slightly. She also stood up, with her fists clenched and shaking, her tail anxiously whipping from one side to the other. Adora examined herself and finally looked back at Catra with an expression of pure evil. Catra couldn't exactly explain it. It was kind of like the look you'd make when you knew you'd done something fucking wrong and would get away with it. She turned her head away, shaking with pent up rage. That face... It didn't suit Adora at all. No. This was definitely Shadow Weaver, and Catra wouldn't hesitate to kill her. If... If she wasn't in the body of her... Enemy? Friend? Whatever.

"Perfect," Adora said with a hint of incredulity. No. That was not Adora. But it sounded just like her. Catra watched in astonishment. Even Lonnie and Glimmer looked nervous. "This is just the body I need."

 _Wow. The old hag's fucking demented,_ thought Catra. If Shadow Weaver possessed Hordak she'd have full control over the Fright Zone. But she Weaver wanted  _Adora_? Wanted to  _be_  her? Now that Catra was thinking about it, that was really creepy. "You fucking psycho bitch," she hissed. Her claws extended, her fur puffed up and her tail seemed to grow more violent in its wagging. "The fuck are you trying to do? What do you  _want_  from her?!" Not receiving a reply, she pounced at Not-Adora in a fit of rage, but was grabbed with surprisingly strong hands that didn't disguise their intent. She was chucked to one side but thankfully landed on all fours, unhurt. Well, unhurt physically, at least.

"Calm yourself, beast," Not-Adora said, dusting her hands off. Catra grimaced like she'd just been stabbed by her. Hearing Adora's voice saying Shadow Weaver's cruel, cold lines pierced right into her heart. "The child was getting too rebellious and forgot who she belonged to."

"Fuck you! She doesn't belong to anybody!" Glimmer, who was trying to put pressure on Lonnie's wounds, yelled as if she had just read Catra's mind. Lonnie wondered what the hell was going on and groaned as the fiery pain in her arms refused to fade away.

Not-Adora laughed like she'd told Catra there was a mouse nearby.

Catra couldn't bear to watch. Somehow,  _somehow_ , Shadow Weaver had adopted Adora's mannerisms — the way she shut her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself and hunched over just a tiny bit. Catra almost missed it. When was the last time she heard that sound? She could listen to it all day, but she knew it was just a hollow, lifeless imitation — a cruel parody of the original. She didn't know if this behaviour was a result of Shadow Weaver being in a body that was not hers, or if the woman was purposefully trying to confuse her, but she hated— no,  _that's not enough_  — she despised it. Who did that monster think she was? Taking away the only person that had ever given her a fraction of... affection? Care? Tenderness? She couldn't find the word.

"Incompetent fools," Not-Adora chuckled in response to the long silence. "With the potential of this body, I have the ability to take over the whole of Etheria!"

Catra and Glimmer glanced at each other in confusion.

_Take over Etheria?_

Then their eyes widened in horror.

_She-Ra._

But it was too late.

Not-Adora dashed past Glimmer, who was preoccupied with Lonnie, and Catra followed. Not-Adora grabbed the sword of protection before raising it into the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!" she declared just as Catra jumped at her. Catra flew back and landed in a bush, hissing in pain, and she blinked, disorientated, afraid of what she'd see once the light faded. She-Ra: down right terrifying and completely malicious.

The large, bright figure suddenly jumped at her with a wild grin on her face, teeth bared, blonde hair chaotically flying about. If Catra knew what a lion was she would have called She-Ra just that. A demonic, rabid lion which had crawled straight out from the depths of Hell. But at the moment she had to focus on dodging, and hopped out of the way just as a giant sword slammed down into the place she was a few seconds ago. "Fuck!" Catra spat, feeling the blade chop off a few inches of her hair.

She-Ra would have attacked again if a ball of sparkles hadn't just hit her in the face, and turned to see Glimmer holding out her palm with a smouldering glare. Still grinning, She-Ra rubbed her eyes with one hand and dragged her sword with the other as she stomped forward. Glimmer nervously pulled Lonnie closer and teleported them both away just in time as the sword embedded itself into the ground and the impact sent leaves fluttering all over the place. While the giant Princess was trying to pull the sword out the ground, Catra and Glimmer shot each other worried glances. They had no idea what She-Ra was going to do.

Would she attack them again?

Or charge into the camp of villagers from Thaymor?

Neither.

She-Ra turned away. "I'll deal with you both later," she said without looking back. There it was again. Adora's voice. Quiet, yet it reverberated through the area. So familiar, yet it sounded so  _wrong_. Catra was further infuriated and clenched her fists, drawing blood from her palms.

"How did you..." Glimmer began, eyes wide, but was interrupted.

"Just be glad, child," She-Ra ordered. "You will only die. Catra, on the other hand, will not have the same fate." She turned her head slightly, showing one more sick grin, her icy blue eyes freezing the pair. "But first, I'm going to take care of something else." Then she ran, covering a surprising distance in only a few seconds, heading to Bright Moon.

"Shit!" Glimmer cursed. What the hell was she supposed to do? She turned to Catra. "I need to get this Horde soldier to Bright Moon and warn everyone before Shadow Weaver gets there," she said, pointing at Lonnie.

Catra slowly nodded. "I'll try to catch up to her," she grumbled.

Glimmer stared at her for a moment, speechless. "Thanks. What you're planning to do is really, really dangerous."

"What?" Catra spluttered. "I'm not trying to  _help_  you! Or Adora! I just— I just wanna kill Shadow Weaver!"

Glimmer sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Don't die." She teleported herself and Lonnie away.

Catra stood there for a moment then began running, feeling leaves and branches whip past her fur, and swiftly scaled a tree. She surveyed the area and hopped onto another tree nearby, seeing a small speck of golden light glow in the distance. Catra growled and jumped onto the next tree, steadily catching up to She-Ra.

_I have no idea how I'm gonna fight that thing without dying. Fuck, why did I decide to do this?! I shoulda just let the Princess take care of it!_

In around ten minutes she was only a few metres behind She-Ra. Holding her breath, she slowly crawled along the branch of the tree she was on, trying to be as quiet as possible, but it wasn't enough. "That desperate to die, child?" She-Ra asked, turning slightly but not completely, showing that she didn't view Catra as threat.

Catra froze in her hiding place. "How in the hell did you..." she began in astonishment.

"Don't you understand?" She-Ra asked, fully turning and shaking her head in mock sympathy. "You will never be able to hide from me or defeat me."

"We'll see about that."

"Oh?" She-Ra asked, pretending to be taken aback. "Do you  _want_  me to end your pathetic life?"

Catra shuddered. Shadow Weaver shouldn't have sounded so intimidating since she was speaking in Adora's significantly less ominous voice, but if anything, it was just more terrifying that way. Even so, she hopped to the ground from the branch she was perched on, looking up at She-Ra with fire in her eyes. "You're not going to destroy Bright Moon," she said with as much determination as she could muster. She personally didn't care about Bright Moon but she figured it'd annoy Shadow Weaver if it looked like she did. "And you're gonna get the fuck out of Adora's head right now."

"Oh, Catra," She-Ra tutted, taking a few soft steps closer, the point of her sword scraping against the floor. Catra tried not to back away and stood tall. Well, tried to. She was dwarfed by the Princess. "You can't make me do anything. Face it, you have no power. I know you cruelly betrayed the Horde— no, betrayed  _me_  after all I've done for you, but defending  _Princesses_? That's appalling, even for scum like you." She-Ra finally stood directly in front of her but Catra remained unfazed, even as a large hand reached down and petted her hair.

"You didn't fucking do anything for me. You hate me," Catra said quietly, ears twitching. "So why the hell aren't you killing me right now?"

She-Ra laughed again. "When did I say I was going to  _kill_  you?" she asked darkly. Before Catra could reply, she tightened her grip on Catra's hair, lifting her up.

"What the fuck!? Put me down!" Catra hissed in pain, trying to scratch She-Ra's wrist, but the gold cuff she was wearing deflected her claws. She tried to scratch She-Ra's hand instead but then the sharp edge of the sword was pressed against her throat.

_Shadow Weaver's already pulled a stunt like this before. I shoulda seen it coming, damn it._

She-Ra pulled her closer so they were almost face to face. Catra was glad her eyes were shut because she didn't want to let any tears out. "Listen carefully," the Princess said, her voice low. "I could dispose of you if I wanted to and leave you lying in a place that never sees the light of day. Do you want that?" The point of the sword slowly trailed down from Catra's neck until it was above her heart.

"No..."

"Good. Once I'm done with Bright Moon I'll have the time to beat you until you're on the cusp of death," She-Ra explained. "But... I'll stop." She lowered her sword. "I'll wait for you to get better, or maybe even heal you if I feel generous, and then I'll do it all again. And again. And again. You'll be  _begging_  me to kill you. Just like Adora did."

Catra's eyes snapped open. "What?" she growled. She-Ra didn't seem to pick up on the cold fury emanating from her and just grinned. Or maybe she did. "What do you mean?"

"Adora might have told you already. It probably caused her significant pain every time I erased her memories," She-Ra said nonchalantly, rapping her knuckles on the side of Catra's head, who was silent. Yes, Adora did tell her. But she wasn't sure if she should have believed it. Now, hearing Shadow Weaver confirm that she'd been erasing Adora's memories seemed to ignite a bitter flame in her heart. "Although it pained me to do so, it was completely necessary if I wanted her to—"

"Shut up," Catra muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"I said shut the fuck up!"

She-Ra let go of Catra's hair and instead grabbed her throat, raising her even higher into the air. Catra's vision immediately started to go black and she felt her heartbeat pounding in her head. Suffocating, she furiously dug her claws into the Princess' hand, but She-Ra didn't seem to acknowledge the pain and squeezed harder. "I think I've heard enough from you," she growled. "Now be a dear and wait for me." She tossed Catra away like she was a broken object and walked away. Catra flew back a few metres and hit the ground hard, gasping at the sharp ache in her ribs at the impact. She didn't have the strength to move an arm, let alone get up and chase She-Ra, so she lay there, rapidly breathing in and out. She hoped her encounter with She-Ra would give Glimmer enough time to get to Bright Moon because as much as Catra hated to even think about it, she didn't want Adora to be all miserable. Hearing Not-Adora laugh heartily like that, despite how unnerving it was, made her miss the sound.

*

Glimmer was relieved that Bright Moon wasn't destroyed when she got there and half-dragged half-carried a pale Lonnie, whose arms were still bleeding, with her to the castle. She told her mother everything that happened and Lonnie was taken somewhere, protesting weakly and mumbling about how she wasn't going to yield to their torture methods. Queen Angella immediately spread the news to the uninjured guards, the other Princesses, Bow and Kyle, and soon they'd congregated in the war room. There were varying reactions to Glimmer's account of the story. Bow looked angry and Kyle looked terrified. Spinnerella and Netossa just hugged each other and vowed to defend Bright Moon. Perfuma started to meditate and Mermista sighed. Sea Hawk offered to duel She-Ra one on one but that idea was quickly shut down. After the initial shock faded they began planning how to fight She-Ra, but Glimmer was still unsure. Shadow Weaver wasn't stupid enough to think of attacking Bright Moon by herself, even if it was in the process of repairing itself. So what did she have under her sleeve?

They went outside. "Do you think Catra's okay? What if She-Ra killed her?" Bow asked as they all stood around the castle. Glimmer blinked, unable to comprehend what he was saying.

"I dunno," Glimmer mumbled, feeling a bit guilty for leaving Catra behind. "She offered to distract her." She felt even more guilty when she saw tears in Bow's eyes and got a bit closer to him. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"How are we gonna get Shadow Weaver out of She-Ra?" he asked. "Do we hurt her enough so she jumps out? Or kill She-Ra? Is that even possible? And if you kill She-Ra does Adora die too?"

Glimmer hugged him and Kyle anxiously gave him a pat on the shoulder. "I don't know," she mumbled. "We have to hurt her, unfortunately, but not enough that it'll kill her."

"I see something!" Sea Hawk yelled, pointing at the woods in the distance.

"Why are the trees moving?" Perfuma asked.

Then, out of the dark woods stepped a glowing She-Ra. But she wasn't alone. Behind her was a group of giant bugs and hogs.


	20. Bright Moon vs beasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dang, I'm finally done. This chapter's a bit longer than the last two so I hope it's enjoyable.

The giant, nightmare inducing creatures led by She-Ra descended on Bright Moon with ear piercing shrieks and thunderous roars, while She-Ra herself proudly stood back with her arms crossed, admiring her small army.

Glimmer stared at her in disbelief and frustration, searching those eyes of ice for any remnants of her friend. Her friend who was so much more than this simple vessel filled with cunning and malicious intent, which was now regarding her with as much indifference as if it were looking down at an ant. There had to be something. Something she could find. She didn't know what. Even if it was just a scrap, a tiny sliver of inner light shining back at her, Glimmer would dig it out with her bare hands if she had to.

But she was unsuccessful in her search.

Tearing her eyes away from the golden Princess, she focused on the creatures rushing out of the woods, eyes glowing red in the darkening sky. Half of them seemed to head towards the group — Bow, Kyle, the Queen, Swift Wind, the guards and Princesses — while the other half appeared to be charging for the castle, veering off to one side.

Mermista manipulated the water nearby to create a large wave, pushing the creatures back a few metres and slowing them down. Kyle, Bow and the archer guards shot at them, trying to hit them in places where the damage would be felt most. Arrows bounced off the hard exoskeletons of the bugs and the coarse fur of the boars but a few miraculously embedded themselves into their eyes. Consequently, the beasts were further enraged and charged with a newfound vigour, dashing forward and forcing the Bright Moon defenders to split up to avoid them. Netossa, who had jumped further back than the others, captured two beasts, one bug and one boar, with a net, but she wasn't sure how long it would last, seeing as the gargantuan animals were ramming their skulls and tusks into it. She estimated that it'd take around a minute or two for them to break out so somebody needed to destroy them quickly. But who?

Nobody possessed the raw strength capable of crushing stone with their fists. Not like She-Ra did, and she wasn't on their side anymore.

Bow, Kyle and the archers were too busy running for their lives to stay still and aim properly, feeling the gusts of wind created by the snorting of the boars and the cacophonous chattering of the bugs merely a metre behind them. If they stopped they would be turned into snacks. Kyle resisted the urge to look back and sprinted the hardest he ever had in his life, arms rapidly swinging back and forth, his floppy hair waving frantically. He could feel the breath of the boars warming his back as if he was running from a raging inferno.

Glimmer teleported out of the way just a pair of boars thundered past, trotters kicking up bits of rock, crimson eyes locked in on the distance. She cursed internally as she watched them head to the barely refurbished village, confusion wriggling inside her like an evil group of snakes. Glimmer needed someone to help her take the boars down but she didn't have the time to weigh the pros and cons of everyone's abilities, so she grabbed the closest Princess nearby: Perfuma. Glimmer trusted that everyone else there could keep an eye on She-Ra. Just before she and Perfuma could teleport away, Queen Angella landed beside them, giant wings folding back into their usual position.

"Glimmer," she began solemnly, keeping her distance for a moment, as if she was afraid she wouldn't be able to let her child go if she held her. But she discarded those feelings and tightly wrapped her arms around Glimmer, pulling her close and running a hand over her hair. "Be careful."

"I will. Love you, mum," Glimmer said before moving out of her mother's arms and disappearing with Perfuma.

They reached the village in a few minutes, Glimmer scanning the area. Perfuma, looking confused, asked, "So, why'd you bring me here?"

Glimmer looked back at her. "The boars. I saw two of 'em heading this way. We have to stop them," she explained. "I mean, they could even be in here right now." She turned to a few puzzled looking villagers. "There are giant, bloodthirsty animals on the way!" she yelled, not bothering to be tactful. "Leave this place!"

The villagers seemed conflicted between panicking and sighing about the bullshit they had to put up with. Immediately, they began to spread the word and families were rushing uphill away from their homes once again.

Perfuma was in the middle of a breathing exercise when Glimmer interrupted her. "I need you to restrain them with your vines," Glimmer said, watching the horizon and listening for the telltale rumbling sound of the boars running.

"I'll do my best. But what's gonna happen after I capture them? I don't think it'll hold out for long," Perfuma said, wringing her hands together and shrugging.

"I'm gonna find a big rock and teleport it so it lands on them. Keep an eye out, will you?" Glimmer teleported away before Perfuma could even reply.

"Heck!" Perfuma cursed. She was alone.

Soon, the boars arrived in a cloud of dust, their deep grunts making the surrounding air almost vibrate. Perfuma raised her arms and the plants followed, growing like towers from the soil. One thick length of accumulated vines draped itself over the back of one boar and another wrapped around its front leg, tripping the animal and resulting in it falling to the ground with a resounding thump. The vines over its back tightened and secured it to the floor, having no regard for its enraged roars. More vines managed to grab hold of the back leg of the other boar and it fell uselessly on its stomach, trying to stand up and failing, pawing at the ground. The vines had successfully caught both boars but Perfuma knew it wouldn't last long when in contact with their bulky bodies. She could practically feel the straining and stretching of the plants in the way her magic was flickering inside her and feared that they would snap at any moment. Brow furrowed and fists clenched, she reinforced the vines with yet another onslaught of plants, hoping that Glimmer would arrive soon.

A few seconds passed, though to Perfuma it felt more longer, and a boulder appeared a few metres up in the air with a sprinkle of glitter before plummeting down onto one of the boars with a nauseating sound. Perfuma had to look away or be sick. She was sure she heard bones cracking and blood splattering on the floor. In the moment she lost focus the remaining boar managed to tear itself free and clumsily stumbled to its feet, almost glaring at her. Of course, the beastly creature didn't have eyebrows so it couldn't really glare, but it felt that way to Perfuma after its friend had been brutally murdered in front of it. It lowered its head, tusks pointing forward, and then bolted right at her. Perfuma was in serious danger. She wouldn't be able to outrun the boar but she had an idea of how to avoid it — she just hoped it would work. The boar got closer and in a second it was less than a metre away and Perfuma could see the individual hairs on its snout and the little scratches on its tusks. She could feel the ground shaking underneath her and her hair blowing back when the boar exhaled. Then she dived out of the way, feeling it rush past in a giant, blurring mass of fur.

Then it squealed and the sound of its trotters hitting the floor abruptly came to a halt. Perfuma stood up and turned to see Glimmer teleporting off the boar's back, carrying a boxy looking object in one hand. "What did you do?" Perfuma asked, glancing at the boar to see a puddle of blood forming under its head. Glimmer just shrugged, looking uncomfortable, but then replied.

"I stabbed it in the neck. Some villager had lots of kitchen knives in their house," she said, holding up a briefcase. She took one knife out and slipped it into her pocket before leaving the briefcase on the floor. Glimmer felt a little guilty about teleporting into a bunch of houses and stealing from them but she didn't have the time to search for another boulder large enough to use. Even if she did get one, she would most likely miss the boar because it was running.

"What are we gonna do with the... bodies?"

Glimmer shrugged again. "Didn't think about that," she admitted. "Well, I guess the villagers will have a lotta food when they come back here." She dusted her hands off once again and began walking. Perfuma couldn't tell if she was being serious or not and also started walking, catching up with Glimmer almost immediately thanks to her longer legs. "Man, I'm tired," Glimmer sighed after a few minutes. "I just hope everyone's doing alright. Probably are, I guess."

"But aren't you scared of the She-Ra? I mean, she was kind of scary before, not gonna lie, but now she's extra scary," Perfuma said, gesturing wildly.

Glimmer was scared. But there was no benefit to letting her fear control her. "Yeah. Shadow Weaver's an evil bitch and when you combine that with She-Ra's strength it's terrifying," she said, ignoring the way Perfuma gave her a chastising look when she cursed. "But we've also got some powers and there's more of us than there is of her, so we might have a chance of beating her and not dying."

"A _chance_?"

"Yeah. I don't think trying to get through to Adora is safe. Not when Shadow Weaver's in control. We're gonna have to be the ones attacking."

"Are we... gonna have to _kill_ her?" Perfuma hesitantly asked.

Glimmer was quiet for an absurdly long period of time. "I hope not," she finally answered. "I don't even know if that's possible. She's super strong anyway and now that Shadow Weaver's in her..." She shrugged in an almost hopeless way and Perfuma firmly clasped her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. It didn't really seem to help, though, and Glimmer still looked down. "If I'd paid more attention to Adora maybe I could have stopped Shadow Weaver from... possessing her."

"It's not your fault. Even if it was, we can't change the past," Perfuma said softly.

"You're right, I guess," Glimmer said, hastily rubbing her eye with the back of her hand. It felt strange since she wasn't wearing her gloves — she had removed them back at the castle because they were covered in Lonnie's blood. She was going to miss those gloves but soap was more important. "Now let's speed this up a little." She teleported herself and Perfuma as far as she could go and they arrived closer to the castle.

"Careful! You might need to use your magic for another fight," Perfuma warned.

"Yeah, but there might not even be a fight if we get there too late."

Once they appeared outside the castle, Glimmer looked around. The distress beacon was lit up. Most of the giant beasts were still running around and were locked in combat with the group defending Bright Moon, while a few others were lying in the water, unconscious or dead. Glimmer couldn't tell and she didn't really want to know. For some reason it looked like there were more of them than there were before. Nearby, Netossa's nets trapped a large group of giant beasts and Mermista filled up the inside of the net with water, though it quickly burst from the pressure and the beasts were free, boars shaking water off their fur and coughing up water, while the bugs chirped angrily. The Bright Moon guards jumped at them, wielding swords and spears, but were batted away before they could get close. Closer to the woods, Queen Angella and She-Ra were facing each other, though it didn't look like they were fighting.

Glimmer was unsure of what to do. Help her friends or help her mother? Just as she was about to start walking she saw Sea Hawk rushing towards her. "Shimmer, come quick!" he cried, waving his arms like a mad man.

"What's wrong?" Glimmer asked, teleporting to him.

"It's Bow," Sea Hawk said, looking panicked, breathing heavily like he'd run a marathon. His clothes and face looked slightly damp and Glimmer didn't know if that was because of the lake or because he was sweating. "He's hurt."

Bow was lying near the entrance of the castle with a few injured guards. Some looked worse than others. Spinnerella was sitting beside them with some medics, her hair looking a bit dishevelled due to using her wind magic a few times to keep the beasts away. Glimmer took a closer look at Bow to see that his right arm was bent at a strange angle and a bloodstained bandage was shoddily wrapped around his forehead. "Bow!" she exclaimed and teleported to him. His eyes fluttered open slightly but they were unfocused and glazed over as if he was half-asleep. He had probably been injected with some sort of sedative or he was drowsy from blood loss. "What happened?" Glimmer asked, eyes watering from seeing her best friend in such a state.

"He got ambushed. One of those giant pigs whacked him with its tusks," Sea Hawk said, tears running down his face.

Glimmer tentatively reached out and took Bow's left hand. She squeezed softly. "Is he gonna be okay?"

Spinnerella gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Once the medics get to him I'm sure he'll be fine, dear," she said. Glimmer knew his injuries weren't too serious compared to some of the ones the guards near them had, but she'd never seen Bow look so frail and it was terrifying. Part of her wanted to stay with him and the other part wanted to run. She stood up and turned, also intending to see how the others were doing against the giant creatures and She-Ra.

"I need to check on the others," she said quietly, blinking away tears. Sea Hawk nodded as if he understood and Spinnerella wished her well. Then Glimmer went back down to the heart of the battle to see Perfuma trying to lure the bugs into her giant flytrap with fragrant flowers while Netossa and Mermista were focusing on the creatures trapped in the nets. Some of the Bright Moon guards stood near the nets, weapons raised and ready for when the beasts would break out, while Kyle and the remaining guards targeted the creatures ramming themselves into the castle walls, keeping their distance as some of the brickwork looked ready to crumble and fall.

Glimmer decided to go to her mother's side and ran there to save magic, hearing She-Ra talking as she got closer. "Do you think that low of me?" the giant Princess asked, sounding amused and offended at the same time. "Maybe that foolish child was unable to do so, but I, a powerful sorceress of Mystacor, am perfectly capable of taming this wild beast." At this point both Queen Angella and She-Ra had noticed Glimmer's presence but She-Ra kept talking. Meanwhile, Angella stepped in front of Glimmer, unfolding her wings slightly to not only shield her child but to look more intimidating. "Do you have any idea who I am? Who I _was_?"

"Light Spinner," Angella murmured, not feeling as surprised as she thought she should have.

She-Ra just nodded. Glimmer thought it was odd how she wasn't silently eying her and her mother like the She-Ra she knew. It shouldn't have been frightening but it was. "Well," said She-Ra. "Now that the introductions are over, it's time for you to—" She purposefully didn't finish her sentence and instead lunged forward, swinging her sword so hard they heard the air whooshing. If Glimmer hadn't quickly teleported herself and her mother away they would have been dead. Chopped to pieces.

"That was a cheap trick!" Glimmer yelled, standing a few metres away from where she was before. She put a hand to her head, beginning to feel dizzy since she'd teleported so many times that day.

She-Ra laughed. "How idiotic," she said to Angella, ignoring Glimmer. "If it hadn't been for the brat you would have been dead. Tell me, why did you come to talk to me?"

Queen Angella didn't reply for a bit. "That is none of your concern," she said, a slight glare darkening her features. "I'm warning you, you have one chance left to let Adora go. Or you'll end up regretting it."

"Why would I let go of something that belongs to _me_?" She-Ra asked innocently. Glimmer felt the urge to slap the shit out of her — well, Shadow Weaver — for saying that, but she stayed still. Too dangerous. Nobody answered She-Ra's question and she raised her sword like it weighed nothing. Before she could swing it Glimmer teleported again and her eyes began drooping from tiredness.

"Mum, fly away and get help. I can't teleport us both anymore," she said, trying not to sound too exhausted.

"Then come with me!" Angella said, clutching Glimmer's arm. "I'm not leaving you alone with her, Glimmer. It's too dangerous." She glanced back at She-Ra, who was sauntering towards them without a care in the world. Glimmer just shook her head. Someone needed to be the distraction. If she left with her mother She-Ra would follow them to the castle and cause more havoc.

"Mum, I can't run. I need to distract her," Glimmer explained.

"I can't have my child risking her life for me. That's _my_ job," Angella said, anxiously but determinedly clasping Glimmer's hands in her own.

"You can fly! Now go!" Glimmer jumped back just as She-Ra's sword swung down at them. Queen Angella decided to act quickly and shot into the air. Glimmer didn't have the strength to get back up after stumbling to her knees, but shot a ball of sparkles into She-Ra's face, who frantically rubbed her eyes to regain her vision. "Hah! Fell for the trick again!" Glimmer chuckled. She-Ra, now looking really pissed off, reached out to grab her. She tried to scramble away but felt herself being lifted and hung upside down from her cape. Then she was dropped and She-Ra stomped on her wrist to keep her pinned down. Glimmer hissed in pain and didn't bother teleporting. She didn't have much magic left to do so and even if she did teleport she'd bring the giant Princess with her anyway.

"You're an annoying brat. It's a good thing you're going to die now."

That was it. Glimmer shut her eyes. She was dead. And so quickly, too. She'd hoped to give her mother more time to get help, but...

No, she couldn't just give up! Glimmer suddenly remembered the knife in her pocket and with her free hand she pulled it out and stabbed it into She-Ra's leg — she could feel guilty later but at the moment she needed to survive and free Adora.

"You impertinent little wretch!" She-Ra roared, irate but also surprised that Glimmer had a weapon. She tore the knife out of her leg and chucked it away before raising her sword above her head, preparing to plunge it down into Glimmer's heart. Glimmer waited. Waited to feel the sword piercing through her heart like it was air, but it never came. She opened her eyes.

She-Ra's arm and her sword were encased in a thick layer of ice which trailed down her back and her leg. Glimmer followed the trail of ice with her eyes to see it lead straight to Princess Frosta, who stood a few metres behind She-Ra. "What?" she mumbled.

"I saw the beacon," Frosta clarified.

"How many of you brats are there?" She-Ra growled, glaring daggers over her shoulder at the child, but she was unfazed. She tensed up and the ice on her arms began cracking and crumbling shards all over the floor. Soon, she was able to move her arms again. "Did you really think your puny snowflakes could stop me?" she chuckled.

"No," Frosta said, almost smirking. "But _she_ will."

"Who?"

A high pressure blast of water suddenly knocked She-Ra off her feet and sent her crashing to the ground. Before she could get up all her limbs were frozen to the floor by another thick layer of ice. "This is sooo tiring," a familiar voice sighed. Glimmer managed to stand, her mother landing beside her, and was relieved to see Mermista. "Can't you just, like, leave us alone?"

She-Ra growled like a rabid dog and tore her arm from the ice, pulling herself out in a matter of seconds, and she charged at the group, wildly swinging her sword. Mermista propelled herself, Glimmer and Queen Angella backwards with a wave which had been frozen by Frosta to speed up their retreat, narrowly avoiding having her head sliced off. She-Ra was too fast, though. Her height meant she could run a few metres in a very short time and she quickly caught up to them, swinging her sword again. She was unable to deal any damage though, as a cluster of giant vines had grabbed her and restrained her. She tried to wriggle free but Frosta froze her once again, this time leaving only her head untouched. "There's more of you?" She-Ra snapped, glaring at Perfuma, who had just arrived.

Glimmer grinned. "You were acting all tough before," she remarked. "But you're just a crazy old lady who has no idea what she's doing!" She walked forward and Frosta made the ice retreat slightly so She-Ra's trembling hand was visible, and the sword dropped and hit the ground. Glimmer picked it up and stepped back. "Now we can do this the easy way or the hard way. You get out of Adora's body and we lock you up, or you stay and freeze until we can beat you out of her," she explained, hoping that Shadow Weaver would choose the first option because she didn't want to hurt her friend more than she already had.

"I can wait," She-Ra hissed venomously. "After all, my beasts are doing a fine job of destroying your castle."

"Okay. I guess you won't mind if I do this then," Frosta said, whacking She-Ra in the head with a club made of ice. Glimmer was about to shout at her for doing that but She-Ra stopped struggling and glowed for a moment before shrinking back into a significantly smaller Adora. Frosta's ice also shrunk to let her out. Everyone watched and waited, holding their breaths. Adora didn't move and her eyes were shut, and a few seconds later a black goop seemed to congeal on her body, reforming in a vaguely humanoid shape before hastily retreating. Everyone stood there in shock, not knowing what to do. Frosta was the first to take action. "I'll go after that thing," she said, nodding and sliding away on her ice without another word.

"Mermista and I will chase off the rest of the animals." Perfuma wrapped an arm around Mermista's shoulders.

"We will?" asked Mermista.

Queen Angella decided to check on Spinnerella, Netossa and her guards, but before she did that she gave Glimmer another hug and told her to take Adora somewhere safer. That left Glimmer by herself with her unconscious friend and she anxiously took a few steps forward. Adora had the injuries that she'd received as She-Ra — the cuts on her hand, the stab wound in her leg and bump on her head she got from Frosta. "Adora?" Glimmer called, kneeling beside her and using her empty hand to tap her arm. A few minutes passed and Adora's eyes opened just a tiny bit.

"Hey," she began, her voice rough, yet faint and trembling. "Where's Catra?"

Glimmer paused. "I don't know," she confessed. Adora tried to sit up but screwed her face in pain. "Shit, don't get up. Here, I'll help." Glimmer grabbed onto Adora's arms and pulled her to her feet, lightly wrapping an arm around her back and letting her lean into her, while her other hand held the sword and dragged it behind them. "Come on, let's get you patched up."

"I have to— to stop Shadow Weaver," Adora said, teeth chattering either from the cold or the pain.

"But you can't," Glimmer replied, pressing closer to warm her up. "You can't even walk properly. It's a miracle you're even awake."

"But I remember! She hurt Catra!" It took a few tries for Adora to get that sentence sounding coherent. "She said she's gonna— she's gonna torture her. What if she's going to get her right now?"

"Well, she's not gonna be doing any torturing in the state she's in. Besides, Frosta's gone after Shadow Weaver."

"Maybe if I use the sword—"

"You need to rest!"

"I can't rest if Catra's not okay!" Adora managed to stutter out, still shaking. "I've already abandoned her enough. I can't do it again."

"Yeah, well," Glimmer began, the fire in her eyes dying down a little. "Your leg. How are you going to get to her? I can't teleport the two of us there, but I could recharge—"

"No time. Just... let me use the sword. Please." Glimmer reluctantly handed it over and Adora momentarily leaned on it to support herself. Finally, she raised it in the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!" She-Ra was back but her face, unlike before, was expressionless yet focused with the intensity of the sun. She gave Glimmer a quick glance and proceeded to dash into the woods, ignoring her injuries.

She was going to find Catra or die trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shadow Weaver: i am the most powerful being. no one can stop me-  
> Frosta: press X to doubt


	21. Your black heart reveals that you'll always stay the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah shit, this took quite a while. Sorry about that. This exchange was really difficult to write for some reason.

She couldn't see five feet ahead. Somehow, while chasing Shadow Weaver, the sun completely melted into the sky and the light faded. How long had she been running for to lose sight of her target? It didn't matter. Not being able to see did not affect her because She-Ra could hear and feel everything. Hear miniscule insects scuttling by on the floor and in the trees, hear the dying calls of the birds, hear leaves crunching and scattering in the distance as the wind pushed them around. Feel the exact temperature of the area as it dropped, feel vibrations in the air hitting her from all around, and above all, she could feel the wound in her leg slowly sapping her strength like ice cold water seeping into dry clothes. She-Ra didn't think. At least, not to a degree that others did and could think. She reacted and she fought and she felt. Felt and existed in a timeless dimension that payed no thought for the past or the future — just the present. And she felt like she couldn't carry on, which was an odd, unfamiliar feeling. Her steady steps slowed to a walk, but it was fine. She was beginning to sense what she was looking for, the memory of her intentions barely lingering in her hollow, incomplete mind. Find someone. An enemy. Kill them. Probably. She could sense someone else too. Someone Adora would recognise. Before she could take another step forward, a warmth spread over her cold limbs and an even brighter light than her usual one radiated from within her, signalling the disappearance of She-Ra and the return of Adora, who had to grab onto a tree for dear life. She almost dropped her sword but clenched it tightly in one hand, turning her head to stare at the misplaced lump of darkness attempting to hide from her scrutinising gaze.

"Shadow Weaver, I know you're there. Stop running from me," Adora said sluggishly, blinking to get used to the pitch black. The dark clump sped away at the sound of her voice and she stumbled after it. "Come back!" she called. It was no use. Shadow Weaver would not come back and Adora didn't have the energy nor the will to transform into She-Ra again. "If you even think about doing anything to Catra... I'll... I'll..." she said, but stopped. She didn't consider herself good at threatening people and it was true for the most part.

"You'll what?" Shadow Weaver hissed from behind her. Adora whirled around and almost fell over, seeing nothing but pitch black. She wasn't sure if the grasping projections waving in the air were tree branches or Shadow Weaver's shadow tendrils. "Deep down, you've always been merciful, no matter how many times I tried to make you like me. You wouldn't dare to hurt an unarmed old woman."

"Don't test me," Adora growled, not caring if she angered Shadow Weaver — or, the darkness that was once Shadow Weaver. She raised her sword so it was parallel to the ground and her arm shook with the effort. Her clothes were wet with melted ice. And she didn't think she could stand anymore. Even so, she said, "It's over. Just give up."

"It's not over until I say it is," said Shadow Weaver. Adora flinched when she felt something cold wrap around her wrist and she shook it off. That wasn't very effective because the feeling returned, but ten times stronger. "Maybe you are weak, but I can help you. If you'd just let me—"

"No!" Adora snapped, trying to pull the shadow tendrils off her, but she fell to her knees. "I'm not letting you mess me up again!" She dug her fingers into where she felt Shadow Weaver and dragged harshly, not caring if she was scratching her skin. But the thick vapour just slipped through her fingers and she stopped trying. At least this way Catra wouldn't be the one possessed. And she would be blissfully unaware of anything. But that wasn't right. If Adora let Shadow Weaver consume her she would be hurting Catra soon and not even knowing it.

She struggled for a few moments, her body growing strangely colder. Something hard knocked her over and she flew into a bare bush. Groaning, Adora blinked away her double vision and managed to sit up, clutching her head with one hand while her other hand pressed on the wound on her leg. Transforming into She-Ra had healed it slightly but it wasn't enough. She refocused on what was around her and gasped once she saw that Shadow Weaver was partially encased in ice. Frosta had caught up with her.

"Do you want me to knock her out again?" asked Frosta, walking closer to her dark ice sculpture. She threateningly clenched a small fist.

"It's fine," said Adora. She looked at Shadow Weaver directly this time and was quiet. Quiet for long, as if she didn't know where to start or what to say or how to say it.

_How do you speak to someone who tortured your best friend and wiped your memories?_

Hesitantly, she shuffled forward. "Why... Why did you do all this?" she almost whispered. It sounded loud in the now dead silence of the forest. "Why did you hurt Catra so much?"

"Yeah," someone — Catra — interrupted. She staggered out from the darkness with a sombre grin and stopped about a metre away from Shadow Weaver. Adora, despite her relief to see Catra, didn't know how to react to her entrance and therefore didn't speak to her, sending one odd glance in her direction before hurriedly averting her gaze. "Why are you such a psycho? I wanna hear it from you."

"I..." Shadow Weaver started, wriggling uncomfortably. "I was hard on you, I won't deny that. But I saw my younger self in you. Ambitious. Rebellious. Power hungry."

"Fuck no," Catra growled and shook her head, but it seemed more like she was trying to convince herself of that instead of Shadow Weaver. The truth was, those words hit too close to home. "Don't compare me to you."

"Deny it all you want," Shadow Weaver sighed, suddenly deflated, as if she believed she was telling the whole truth and had nothing left to offer the girl. "But I didn't hate you. You had to work hard to get where you were, like me, but you weren't accepted and we both knew you never would be. I had no choice but to strengthen you and make you rise up." When Catra didn't reply, Shadow Weaver turned to Adora. "And you, Adora. I didn't wipe your memories for the sole purpose of hurting you, but it was absolutely necessary." One of her shadow tentacles managed to squeeze itself out from the ice and tried to pet Adora, but stopped itself before it could get close.

Adora just shook her head. " _How_?" she finally asked. "No one forced you to be a bad person. Nobody held a knife to your throat and told you that you had to be such a... such a _monster_."

"The same could be said for you," Shadow Weaver said calmly, making Adora hang her head in remorse. "How many Horde soldiers did you brutally murder?"

"I..."

"Shadow Weaver, shut your fucking mouth," Catra interrupted, her tail whipping at the floor. "Don't change the subject."

It appeared that Shadow Weaver's authority wasn't completely wiped out because she started to strain against the ice. "Silence!" she snapped. "Who do you think you—" She gasped as Frosta clenched her fist and the ice around her grew thicker.

"That's better," said Catra, crossing her arms.

"So, what's the plan?" Frosta asked, glancing at Adora, who was across from her. Adora, still on her knees, just shrugged hopelessly, her head hanging low, fists loosely clenching and un-clenching as if she was searching for something to hold on to. Something— Some _one_ that would tell her it would be all over and truly mean it.

"I don't know," she murmured.

"Come on, it's simple," Catra said, resting one hand on her hip. "You lock her up and throw away the key. Wait. Nah, she'd just crawl through the bars of her cells. I've got a better idea," she said, pausing for a few seconds. "We kill her right here."

"I... I can't do that."

"What?" Catra finally looked at Adora, fire flickering in her eyes. "I thought you wanted to kill her yourself, so what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she said, ignoring the fact that Frosta was standing right in front of them and could hear her profanity.

"It means what I meant to say." Adora's fists clenched tightly as she continued to avoid meeting Catra's piercing stare. "I've changed my mind."

Catra threw her hands up in desperation and brought them back down, a resentful look forming on her tired face. She didn't know how to feel? Angry. Hurt. Relieved? "What's wrong with you?! After all she's done— Fuck! She hurt us— and you still _care_ about her?" Damn it, she hated the way her voice cracked. She didn't need to cry. She couldn't. Not in front of anyone and especially not Shadow Weaver.

"No!" Adora defended, shaking her head, though it still looked like she lacked the strength to get up. "I know she said I'm not like her, but she's wrong. I can't punish her. It wouldn't be right."

"Huh?" Catra thought for a moment and her ears perked up. Then flopped down. "Wouldn't be right," she repeated mockingly. "Fuck you and fuck your morals. If you keep her alive she's going to find a way to screw us all over!"

"Catra," Adora said, shutting her eyes for a moment to think. When she opened them a few seconds later she still looked completely exhausted. She stabbed her sword into the ground and pulled herself up, heavily leaning on it, and raised a shaking hand, holding the ends of her index finger and thumb very close together. "I am this close to losing my sanity," she muttered. "Don't make me do this, okay? How hard is it for you to understand that I'm just as bad as Shadow Weaver?"

Catra physically moved back in shock. "Fuck, you really are insane if you think that," she mumbled, staring at the ground, before looking back at up Adora. "You never killed anyone willingly. Shadow Weaver's commanded troops that have slaughtered hundreds! Maybe even thousands!" she continued. "And... I led the battle at Bright Moon. So if anything..." Catra stopped, a frightened look dawning on her face. "I'm the one that's most like Shadow Weaver." She turned to the mostly frozen, diminished goop of a woman. Pitiful. They both were. Shadow Weaver was stuck in ice. Catra was stuck in an incomplete transformation between shouting hateful curses and despairing over the fact that she was like the person she hated most.

A low chuckle rumbled from Shadow Weaver's icy restraints, uncomfortably caressing the ears of everyone nearby. Even the usually severe Frosta looked unnerved. "Ah," Shadow Weaver sighed triumphantly, her voice weak and raspy. "My girls. You've grown so much, but you're both so young. Haven't you learned by now that I know you inside and out? Come here. Both of you."

Frosta, Adora and Catra glanced at each other. Adora was the first to take a few steps forward, just barely dragging her sword behind her, and fell to her knees a metre away from Shadow Weaver.

"Adora," Catra warned and didn't get closer. "Don't go near her."

"What's wrong, child?" Shadow Weaver asked, the smugness not showing on her face (because she didn't have one), but melting her voice and thickening it into a sickeningly sweet syrup. Catra felt it slowly seep into her ears and she shivered.

"You," Catra said, taking a step backwards. And another. And another.

"Scared?" Shadow Weaver asked. "I raised you to be more brave."

"You didn't raise me at all!" Catra snapped. "You treated me like I was a fucking punching bag!" As she was taking another step back she tripped over the root of a tree and tumbled to the ground, groaning at the impact.

"Adora," Shadow Weaver said, looking away from Catra. Adora shivered at the way Shadow Weaver said her name. "Your heart has given up on the rebellion." Adora felt a shadow tendril stroking her cheek. Strange. She didn't remember seeing it go near her, but maybe that was just because of her exhaustion. She tried not to lean into the cold touch and struggled to keep her eyes open. Gods, she wanted to be held so badly. "You don't have to hurt anyone anymore." But that wasn't true, was it? She wished it was. As long as she was She-Ra there would be more blood, death and pain to come. "I'm old and frail. I can't harm anyone when I'm like this."

Adora shuffled a bit closer. "What... What are you trying to say?"

"Leave the rebellion — It's caused you nothing but pain. And let me out of here. I need your help, darling."

Catra scoffed from behind, lying on her back and looking up at the sky from between frozen tree branches and occasional patches of leaves. "Like she's gonna listen to you," she said. She hoped that Adora had more than one brain cell. Adora turned to Frosta, who shook her head.

"I just want you to know that I forgive you," Shadow Weaver said to her former student. The girl looked back at her once again.

"I don't think I have a say in this," began Frosta, ignoring the woman. "You're fighting for Bright Moon and she attacked Bright Moon, so for now, you should decided her fate. But personally, if she attacked my Kingdom, I wouldn't let her go no matter what."

Catra internally cursed at that. _Damn you and your neutral ass._

"Adora, you know I love you," the shadowy woman continued. "I'm the only person who ever has and ever will."

"Really?" Adora mumbled. She remembered seeing Glimmer and Queen Angella hugging. Bow said that was love. But Shadow Weaver never hugged her. Just touched her weirdly, tortured her best friend and erased her memories. But who was Adora to judge? She didn't know what love even was.

"She's lying!" Catra, struggling to stand, said from behind her. Despite being able to walk around before she was now unable to get up; the exhaustion and pain had not been lifted from her body yet. No way. No way was she going to watch her best friend give herself up to an abusive bitch all because of her thinly veiled manipulation tactics and let her, one of Etheria's biggest pieces of shit, escape justice. "She doesn't love you!" Catra propped herself up using her elbows and she was still mostly lying on her back. "I—" She stopped herself.

That was all. "Frosta, let Shadow Weaver out," Adora ordered weakly, sighing and shakily trying to stand.

Frosta hesitated. "But she's dangerous," she protested.

"Just do it."

The ice retreated and Shadow Weaver's black goop expanded. And it kept expanding. Expanding until it was large enough to engulf a person. A thick rope of shadow lashed out toward Frosta and would have hit her if she didn't immediately create an icy barrier in front of herself. Unfortunately, the shadow tentacle shattered the ice upon impact and Frosta flew back a few metres. Shadow Weaver found her chance and descended on Adora, who looked to weak to fight back or even jump out of the way. "Now you're mine!" she roared.

"No she's not!" Catra yelled and jumped at the giant blob. She sank into the centre and frantically clawed at the goop. "Fuck! Not again!"

"Catra!" cried Adora. It looked like Catra was going to be absorbed when Shadow Weaver's black goop partially froze again and she stopped moving. Adora, using all her strength, hauled Catra out of the thick substance and the two collapsed to the floor. Shadow Weaver groaned and shrunk back down to her previous size while Frosta slid in using a sheet of ice, looking really pissed off. "You said you loved me," Adora muttered, disappointed but not very surprised.

"Of course I do—" began Shadow Weaver.

"You don't though. You just want to own me." Adora managed to sit up and and used her sword as a crutch to stand. "I thought that maybe if I gave you a chance, you'd change. But you'll always be like this," she said.

"Why are you doing this to me?" hissed Shadow Weaver. "I took you in when you were nothing! And _this_ is how you repay me?! How... how _dare_ you, you insolent child. I should not have been so kind to you!"

Adora blinked a few times as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing, when a glare darkened her face. "Why am I doing this?" she repeated. "Fuck you." Shadow Weaver gasped and if looks could kill Adora would have been chopped into a million pieces and set on fire, but Shadow Weaver didn't have a face, so Adora continued. "Yeah. How _dare_ I try to punish you for being an abusive narcissist! You tortured Catra for no reason!" She shook her head, blinking away tears. "What did she ever do to you? She was five years old! What did you want from her? And I don't even understand what you did to me. You invaded my mind and took things that didn't belong to you. So stop playing the victim and for once in your life fucking apologise for the shit you've done!" She raised her sword with both hands, breathing deeply to calm herself. "You're never going to change. I'm sorry, but I have to do this."

"Adora! Don't you dare!" Shadow Weaver growled, growing agitated once she realised that Adora was serious. "If I die you'll be losing the only person who cares about you. Your friends are just using you for your powers!" She struggled against the ice and it began to crack, but Frosta just added another layer. "Please!"

"I gave you a chance and you lied." Adora said, eyes beginning to water, and lifted the sword above her head in preparation to swing it right into Shadow Weaver.

"You're going to regret this!"

"Yeah. I know."

After swinging her sword, Adora didn't remember much. She probably cried. Felt someone pulling her close. Buried her face in something fluffy. "I'm so sorry..." she kept mumbling over and over like a prayer.

Someone gently rubbed her shaking back. "It's all right. Just breathe, okay?" Adora wrapped her arms around something warm. "She's gone for real this time. It's over now."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Despite those last lines, the story has not ended yet. There's still stuff to deal with. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!


	22. Are you still lost tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!

She didn't care that the Queen of Bright Moon wanted her to be punished. That meant nothing to her. Bright Moon meant nothing to her. But Adora wasn't nothing. Catra couldn't convince herself of that anymore and wasn't exactly sure what Adora was to her now. She grumbled, hating not knowing how she felt but most of all hating how broken her ex best friend looked a few minutes ago. Fucking Shadow Weaver. Fucking rebellion making her use that damn sword.

Catra, who was letting Adora lean on her, grabbed the girl's arm before it could slip off her shoulder, and Frosta, who was walking on the other side of the blonde, did the same, though due to their difference in height Adora's stumbling was janky and her posture lopsided. After crying she could barely walk and didn't respond much when spoken to and it hadn't changed during the time they'd been walking. "Almost there," Catra muttered, not expecting a reply. "Just keep taking steps and hold on." She didn't know why she was acting so... nice, but hey, Shadow Weaver was dead because of Adora. Catra was just showing gratitude. Yes, gratitude. And that was it.

"Are you going to face the Queen?" Frosta asked a few minutes of undisturbed silence later.

"Fuck yeah I'm gonna," Catra grumbled as she stared right ahead. "I'm gonna hand her my heart." Frosta screwed up her face as if she didn't quite understand, but then her eyes lit up once she did.

"You're going to tell her how you feel?"

"Pretty much."

"But you attacked Bright Moon. Lots of people were killed."

"Yeah, and?" Catra said and finally made bone-chilling eye contact with Frosta. "I know it was a bad thing to do but I don't regret it. Don't fucking lecture me, Frosty."

Frosta stared back at her. "I wasn't going to."

Catra didn't reply to that and returned her eyes to their previous position, thinking that the conversation was over. She exhaled, her ears flopping for a moment and twitching back up, then adjusted Adora's arm once again. Her touch would have been soothing if she wasn't half-dead and freezing.

"So why are you helping?"

"What?" Catra's head turned wildly, revealing her scowling face.

Frosta either didn't notice or didn't care because she elaborated. "Why are you helping She-Ra, and the rebellion, by bringing her back?" she asked, but cringed internally once she realised she made a mistake in calling Adora She-Ra. "You could have left her with me."

"None of your damn business," Catra grumbled, sniffing and shaking her head to rid herself of the dust and frost clinging to her hair. Her vision blurred and she blinked a few times. "You're a kid. You probably can't even look after a fucking rock; how the hell can you be expected to take care of a person?" Insulting and belittling others to mask her crippling emptiness. It always worked wonders because it created the illusion that she actually had some sort of self esteem.

"I'm eleven and three quarters."

"Practically fresh outta the womb. Sit down."

No more words were exchanged following that, Catra getting more frustrated with every step she took, and the trio finally arrived in Bright Moon. Frosta didn't warn her about the risks as they headed for the castle entrance, ignoring the rubble around them; she knew Catra had made up her mind. Glimmer stood inside, anxiously peering out and chewing on her thumbnail. She blinked once she saw the trio walking towards her and teleported to them.

"I'm going in," Catra said, stepping past her and dragging Frosta and Adora along.

Glimmer looked confused as she turned around. "I thought you didn't want my mum to see you," she questioned.

"Changed my mind."

"Hey, wait! What happened to Adora?"

Catra didn't reply and continued on her way. Glimmer sighed and ran after them, wondering what on Etheria Catra was planning. Did that girl have a death wish? A minute later they stood before the Queen of Bright Moon. Frosta looked even smaller than usual in comparison to the tall woman and Adora was kneeling on the floor, shivering, while Catra defiantly glared ahead. Glimmer hovered a metre behind them, unsure of where to stand and what to do. She wanted to check on her friend but felt like she was unable to even take a step due to the oppressing, heavy silence all around her.

"Princess Frosta," began the Queen, looking as as if she hadn't even taken notice of Catra. "I assume that the threat has been eliminated?"

"Yes, your majesty."

"Thank you. I will ensure that your help will not go unpaid." Frosta simply bowed her head in response and Queen Angella turned slightly, staring right at Catra. "So you've shown yourself."

Catra focused on the wall behind the woman, trying to keep her body and ears as still as she could so as not to give anything away. "I-"

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you come back? Are you not aware of the damage and pain you caused?" Queen Angella asked, eyes narrowing.

"Yes, I am," Catra answered quietly, a bit confused. What kind of question was that? Why wasn't the Queen glad she'd dragged herself to Bright Moon and saved them the trouble of searching for her? Her eyes stayed open, unblinking and locked into the wall she was looking at.

Glimmer anxiously cleared her throat to catch the attention of her mother. Frosta turned and Catra's ear instinctively twitched. "Your majesty," Glimmer mumbled and wrung her hands together, slowly swinging her arms back and forth. "If I may add, Catra did try to protect Bright Moon from She-Ra. I left her behind to alert you. She could have died." Her voice grew strident. "You can't execute her!"

Queen Angella sighed and wearily shook her head, unsure of whether to get angry at her daughter or chuckle. " _Execution_? Who do you think I am?" she asked.

 _A dictator_ , Catra thought, trying to build up the courage to speak up and be honest, but held her tongue. Something about the tall, regal woman scared her and she was too tired to deal with the consequences of being disobedient. Lightning. Could the Queen do the same with that glittery stuff?

"The council will decide your punishment later. There is much to attend to," Angella stated, suddenly looking exhausted. She rose to her feet, wings stretching outwards, and two scruffy looking Bright Moon guards approached Catra from behind and ushered her away. Almost certainly to prison. Growling, Catra turned her head back to Glimmer, angry that she had missed the chance to speak. "Damn you!" she snapped, but felt too weak to fight back.

A few minutes later she was lightly pushed into a warm room with a bed, her hands free. Strange. A dangerous criminal wouldn't be given a bed in the Horde. She'd expected there to be torture devices but wasn't surprised that the information turned out to be false. Catra made a note to herself to do the opposite of everything she'd learned from the Horde. Well, not everything. She still needed to know how to fight properly. She blinked, eyelids heavy, and sat on the edge of the bed before wrapping her arms around her knees, which were brought up to her chest. Catra scoffed. The rebellion was stupid. Giving her a bed. A warm prison room. No handcuffs. No torture. She wasn't even in a prison anymore. Sometimes prisoners needed to be put in their places and broken. Made it harder for them to resist. Still, maybe the Queen was saving the torturous interrogation for later. For the moment, Catra tried to get some rest; she'd probably need it.

But she couldn't. Although her body was shutting down her mind was still racing. About a lot of things. Wondering if Shadow Weaver was finally dead. All the things she should have said to her. If Scorpia and Entrapta were safe back at the Horde. But that wasn't all. She wished it was.

 _Is Adora going to be okay?_ she thought.

*

It was really bright. Brighter than staring directly into the moons in the sky during a warm day. Adora squinted, almost as if challenging the light, but in the end kept them scrunched shut for a bit. Where was she? Not heaven. Possibly hell. But she was strangely numb. No. Hell would be worse than that. Her mind was too blank to come up with a proper answer. She needed to move but didn't know why — she just knew that staying still was dangerous. Yeah. She could get caught by the Horde if she didn't get on the move. The Horde? The place she left? Didn't feel like her home anymore. Adora opened her eyes again and tried to get up from where she was lying on, but felt a thrum of dull pain behind her eyes as she was suddenly reminded of the wound on her leg. Rubbing her eye with the heel of her palm, she looked around, trying to remember what happened and why she was on a bed in clothes that weren't hers. She was definitely in bright moon, judging by the elaborately designed room. But why? How?

She killed Shadow Weaver. Plunged her sword into a swirling mass of screaming shadows begging not to be killed. But it was still Shadow Weaver. Adora never really liked her but she had once loved her. If only the woman had felt the same way about her. Maybe, deep down, she did. But Shadow Weaver never respected her as a person. Never respected Cat—

"Shit!" Adora snapped, regaining her ability to speak. She hurriedly attempted to fix her hair before gathering the courage to stand, and slipped on a pair of flip flops that were right near the bed, clenching her jaw in pain as she began walking. She needed to know where Catra was and find her immediately. For a moment, she turned her head and looked at the sword over her shoulder where it stood propped against the wall. Just the sight of it was enough to simultaneously freeze and burn Adora's insides. She stepped out of the room, the door making a painful creaking sound, and looked over the area to see a dark blue shadow cloaking the scene. Night time. The bright light in her room must have been artificial. Adora almost missed it because out in the dark hallway she was alone and vulnerable. If her mind worked hard enough she would be able to feel the shadows of Shadow Weaver wrapping around her, wrapping around her throat and slowly choking her— She blinked, her eyes feeling oddly wet, trying to push the feeling away, and kept going forward.

Her room appeared to be further from the throne room — probably because it would be more quiet and allow her to sleep better, but Adora swore she could hear her own footsteps echoing in the hallway. She continued to walk (more like limp) aimlessly, looking for something she could recognise and gritting her teeth to deal with the pain and fatigue.

"Adora," someone said and she whirled around, almost falling to the floor. Instinctively, she raised one hand over her shoulder and touched the empty air. No sword. She had left it behind. Oh shit, she was weak and defenseless and she was going to die— and it was just Glimmer staring at her with concern. Adora blinked a few times and shamefully lowered her hand. "You shouldn't be up. You're not well," Glimmer said, taking a few steps towards her.

Adora wondered if it was her fault that Glimmer was awake, but chose to ask what had been plaguing her mind since she'd woken up. "Where's Catra?" she asked, turning her face away from Glimmer to hide the scratch marks. How could Glimmer bear to even look at her?

Glimmer leaned against the wall, yawning. "After the the attack on Bright Moon, she got taken to the cells. Handed herself in."

"When was that?"

"Three days ago, I think?"

"What?" Adora mentally berated herself and hung her head. She had been passed out for three days while Catra was stuck in a prison, Bright Moon was being fixed, and Bow was recovering. Useless. "I'm sorry."

Glimmer was confused and didn't know if Adora was apologising to her or Catra. "Don't be," she said. Adora twitched at the sound of her voice suddenly being much closer. Huh. Glimmer was closer, looking up at her. Adora didn't remember seeing her moving. Maybe she was still half asleep. Glimmer glanced at Adora's injured leg for a second, sighed deeply, and looked back up. "I miss you, you know."

Adora looked confused. "I'm right here," she answered. She probably just misheard Glimmer. Gods, she wouldn't  be surprised if that was the case because even after sleeping for three days all she wanted to do was close her eyes and never open them. If she blinked she'd probably pass out.

Glimmer cracked a smile but it faded almost instantly and she shook her head. "Never mind. I wasn't making any sense."

"Is Bow okay?" Adora asked.

"Yeah. He's doing pretty well, but he won't be able to use his arm for a bit."

"And Catra?"

"I haven't seen her myself yet, but I overheard the guards saying they couldn't get her to speak to them," explained Glimmer, stretching her arms up into the air before bringing them down. "Now come on, you must be starving. I'll find something for you to eat and we can see Catra in the morning, okay?"

"How's Lonnie?"

"Oh, yeah," Glimmer said. "Her arms are still healing so we haven't really gotten round to questioning her. She's already stressed out."

"Judging from what you've told me, Bright Moon has the worst prison ever."

Glimmer chuckled at that. Sometimes Adora's honesty was comical — she just wished the blonde was that honest about her feelings. She slowly placed a hand on Adora's back and rubbed soothingly. "Hey, I'm sure the prisoners are grateful."

Glimmer was warm. So warm. Adora missed being warm. Feeling warm. And she missed Glimmer, too. She hadn't seen her much. Perhaps it was because recently she was constantly knocked out, separated from her friends, or She-Ra. She awkwardly patted Glimmer on the shoulder in an attempt to reciprocate, as she didn't feel strong enough to hug her but changed her mind, suddenly pulling her close and pressing her cheek against the top of Glimmer's head. "Shit," mumbled Adora, placing her hands on the girl's shoulders and moving her back. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Can you please stop apologising for everything? If anything, I should be apologising to you. I hurt you—" Glimmer sighed, only pausing when Adora linked arms with her and began walking slowly. It took them a few minutes to travel the short distance from the hallway to the the blonde's room due to Adora's zombie-like shuffling but they finally opened the door and entered. Adora sat on her bed and adjusted her position so she was lying flat on her back, with Glimmer sitting near her.

"Hey. Did I wake you up? Is that why you found me?" Adora whispered sleepily in the dark, her frightened eyes staring up at the ceiling. "If that's—"

Glimmer placed a palm over her clenched fist. "No apologies, remember?"

"But..."

"I'd prefer a thanks over an apology, you know?"

"Thanks... for sticking with me even though I'm a— Fuck, I'm doing it again."

Glimmer was a bit surprised to hear her curse but didn't comment on it; after all, she wasn't exactly a pure and innocent child herself.

"Sleep well, Adora."

"Yeah. You too." This time her voice was slightly rougher, as if she was sinking deeper into unconsciousness.

*

"Adora," said Queen Angella, the early morning light shining on her, giving the appearance that she was glowing. "The Horde soldier has inflicted great damage on Bright Moon, and I have much reason to believe she has some connection to you."

"Yeah, that's one way to describe it," replied Adora, holding onto a crutch. She didn't want to carry it around, fearing that it made her look too weak, but Glimmer pretty much threatened to kill her if she didn't use it. She was kind of grateful because her body was still exhausted from the transformations and her leg wouldn't be feeling well for a while.

"Are you sure you want to speak to her? I don't want you to force yourself. She hasn't said anything since being imprisoned but she hasn't tried to escape either. I will announce the final decision today so you must make up your mind."

"Yes. I want to see her." Adora nodded resolutely, trying to ignore the fearful pounding of her heart. She had visited Bow, and she was going to do the same for Catra.

Queen Angella's guards led the way to the cell — it wasn't really a cell but the smallest room they could find. They unlocked the door and Adora entered, her crutch tapping on the floor with each step she took. Catra, who was sitting on the floor with her back against the bed's mattress, glanced up with a hollow stare.

"Catra." Adora remembered holding onto her and crying after she killed Shadow Weaver. Catra was still staring. Not vacantly but not intently either. "Back then, I'm sorry for—"

_Crying. Looking so weak. Bothering you._

_No! Damn it! I'm just gonna annoy her._

_But she deserves an apology. Not just for that but for everything. I messed up her life just by existing._

_Apologising won't help her. I don't know what to do!_

Adora got a little closer and struggled to sit beside Catra, but finally got into a somewhat conformable position, fidgeting with the drawstrings of her sweatpants. "Thanks for helping me so much... and being there for me, I guess, after all I did. I don't know why you did it, but—"

"What do you mean?" Catra asked quietly, almost going unheard, her tail wrapping around herself.

"What?"

"You sound surprised that I helped you," commented Catra. Adora looked away and sighed, gritting her teeth together so she wouldn't open her mouth and say something stupid or hurtful like always. "Hey, look at me," instructed the feline. Reluctantly, Adora did as she said and looked into unreadable eyes. "You can't hide your feelings to save your life," Catra mumbled, eyes almost scrutinising Adora's entire body. "We both look like we got tied up and dragged by a skiff for a few miles, huh? How much of this did I do?" she mused, talking more to herself than to Adora.

Adora itched her head, trying remember what she wanted to say to Catra and how she was going to say it, but before she could speak, Catra stood up and stretched, yawning. She headed to the door and Adora pulled herself up with the crutch, following. "What are you doing?"

"I heard the tall lady say she's made her decision. So I'm gonna hear it now. Besides, I got something to say to all your buddies."

A few minutes later Catra was in the throne room standing before the Queen. Guards stood with their backs facing the walls, while Adora, Glimmer and Kyle stood behind Catra, with Spinnerella and Netossa a bit further behind them. The other Princesses had gone back to their respective kingdoms for the time being to take care of their people.

"Horde soldier, I assume you are here to hear the final verdict?" Queen Angella asked. "Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"Yeah. All of you are fucking idiots," Catra said. Some of the guards gasped and looked like they were about to jump her, but the Queen signalled for them to stay where they were. "You made my job so much easier when you could have avoided the chance of that completely."

"What do you mean?"

"Hordak locked Adora and I in a cage so we could fight to the death. And she didn't even fucking try to fight back. I could have killed her, you know, but I didn't. But if I did, you would have lost the only thing that gave the rebellion an advantage."

Adora gritted her teeth, wondering why Catra was talking about that moment to everyone. "Hey, what does this have to with—" Glimmer began, sensing her friend's discomfort.

"Shut it, Sparkles," Catra hissed, growing angry. "Don't you get it?!" There was silence. "If you didn't encourage her to use that fucking sword when she was clearly unable to control her powers she wouldn't have killed people, and consequently wouldn't have lost the will to live. Some kinda friends you are. If I killed her you'd all be fucked!"

Glimmer teleported to Catra so she was standing right in front of her. "You're right," she admitted. "I should have thought more about her. But what gives _you_ the right to call us bad friends? Aren't you aware of all the problems you've caused?"

"Yeah," Catra answered. "But—"

"Can the both of you just be quiet?" Adora asked, coming over on her crutch and grabbing Glimmer's arm. "I'm not Glimmer's responsibility. No one forced me to do anything. I just... didn't want to let anyone down. But I have already." She sighed, looking deeply pained. "Right, Catra?"

Catra was quiet, focusing on how Adora was holding Glimmer. Queen Angella cleared her throat, a troubled expression on her face. "Thank you for your input," she said to the girl. "You are right. If there was a way to make things better as a Queen, a mother and a friend I would do it. But I can't. So I can only offer my condolences to everyone." Catra just grumbled something under her breath. "Catra, normally you would have been executed, but since you aided in defeating Light Spinner I hereby declare that you are banished from Bright Moon." Catra stayed quiet.

"You can't do that!" Adora spoke up, mentally punching herself a second later for disagreeing with Angella.

"Why do you think this?" asked the Queen, quietly and a bit surprised.

"I... Because..."

"Everyone must leave the room. Except you two," Queen Angella said, looking at the two ex Horde soldiers. The guards were puzzled, but left along with everyone else. Glimmer teleported out and decided to visit Bow again. Catra, strangely, felt even more uncomfortable now that there were fewer people around.

"She doesn't have anywhere to go. Not even the Fright Zone. If she goes, I go. And you need me," Adora said, surprised by her own words.

"What?" Catra muttered, glancing at the blonde.

Queen Angella sighed. "The rebellion does need you. But we also care greatly for you too." She shook her head. "I assumed that the two of you knew each other, but I didn't know that..." A pause. "Fine." Angella looked at Catra and unfolded her wings, flying up into the air before landing in front of her. Catra tried not to flinch, worried that the woman was going to hit her. She didn't. Catra was slightly disappointed. What kind of authority figure was this woman? "I will allow you to stay here, but you are forbidden from going anywhere unaccompanied. If you break this rule, hurt anyone, or attempt to contact the Horde, the consequences will be dire. Do I make myself clear?" she spoke, her voice like ice.

Catra shrugged. "Whatever," she grumbled.

"You are free to leave," said the woman, turning away.

"Catra, let's go," Adora said, taking a step forward while leaning on her crutch. She looked back over her shoulder to see Catra staring at the ground.

"Okay."

As they were aimlessly walking across the hallway, Adora tried to comfort Catra. "She doesn't hate you, you know. When I first came here I thought she was going to hit me, too. She's not as scary as she seems" she explained.

Catra growled. How the hell did Adora read her mind like that? "I don't give a fuck if she hates me or not," she mumbled.

"Right. Um... anyway. Why did you get angry at my friends? Shouldn't you have been happy that I didn't try to fight you?"

Catra rolled her eyes. "Why do you always sound shocked that I have standards?"

"Because you always try to—" Adora stopped herself. She didn't want to make Catra angrier and put a wall between themselves again. She opened the door to her room and awkwardly pushed it open with her shoulder. "Is it okay if I lie down?" Annoyingly, walking that distance had really exhausted her.

"It's your room. Why you asking me?" Catra said and sat on the floor like she did in her "prison" room, leaning against the bed.

"Oh, right." Adora felt a little sad that Catra had chosen to stay on the floor, and she stretched out, wincing as she felt a sharp pain in her leg. Minutes passed and Adora tried to sleep, but couldn't shake off a feeling of discomfort. She sat up, looking at the back of Catra's head. "Do you want to... come up here? There's enough room," she said.

Catra reluctantly turned around, silent as though she was contemplating the answer. A few seconds later she hopped up without a word, sitting with her legs crisscrossed, and wrapped her tail around her own waist. Neither of the two knew what to say after that. Adora looked like she was asleep, lying on her back with her forearm covering her eyes.

"Do you hate me?" Adora asked.

Catra blinked at the sudden shift in tone. "What? Why are you asking that?"

"I'm just confused." Seeing Catra defend her so much over the last few days contradicted her "I hate you" statement and it was driving Adora mad.

"I'll admit, when I saw you hurt and sad I felt— I felt happy. I know. It's fucked up. But it comes to a point where even a piece of shit like me gets tired of getting off on your pain, you know?" Catra answered, avoiding the question. She had a lot of time to think while she was in "prison" and she still didn't know. Looking back on that moment when Shadow— just that word made her want to hurl — Weaver possessed Adora and laughed at her, she felt two things at once. Anger, but also nostalgia. She missed seeing Adora happy, hearing her voice laughing, even if it was just an imitation.

Adora's eyes were still covered. Catra stared at the pink scars on one side of her face. Then at the bandage around her left hand — she remembered inflicting scratches on possessed She-Ra while being strangled. Then at her arm. She rarely saw Adora wear t-shirts so was kind of surreal. _Wow, her arms are big_. A fading bruise on the other side of Adora's face caught Catra's attention and she unconsciously leaned closer for a better examination. Adora moved her arm from her face and looked right into Catra's blue and yellow eyes. "Um... Catra?"

"What?"

Their faces were really close. So close that Adora could count Catra's freckles and feel her fluffy hair tickling her face, and Catra could see the dark blue flecks in Adora's light eyes. They were so close that they could kiss again. When the hell did they—

Catra straightened up and turned her face away like she wasn't even staring, before clearing her throat and curling into a ball. Adora took a moment to process what had happened and cursed at herself internally. Damn it. Was Catra angry at her? And why was she so close all of a sudden? It was all so confusing. Adora hoped that she would be able to repair their relationship, but they both needed to repair themselves first. She couldn't speak for Catra but Adora knew that she needed to be more honest about her feelings and stop annoying people with apologies, and also not be so stupid, and a whole bunch of other things. But was it possible to even do that? Most of all, Adora needed to learn how to control She-Ra. And for once, she had an idea of where to get answers. She could still vividly remember the strange holographic woman from her vision when she first touched the sword, and the strange crystal tower. That was probably her best chance.

But she needed to wait for her body to heal, infuriatingly. She watched Catra's ears twitching right beside her and turned onto her side, wondering if they would ever be the same. Adora felt Catra's tail wrap gently around her wrist and she shut her eyes, feeling warmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adora will be training next chapter and there'll probably be a short time skip. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this!


	23. Been a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it took so long for the last chapter to come out, I decided to be speedy with this one. Hope it doesn't suck.

Four months had passed since first waking up in Bright Moon after Shadow Weaver's death and things settled down for the most part. Well, during day they did. Oftentimes Adora would wake up clawing at her own throat or crying and would sometimes accidentally wake Catra up. She hated it. Adora offered to sleep in a separate room if it bothered Catra, but Catra refused. She too would have nightmares, as much as she tried to hide it from Adora. A recurring dream that Adora had was being She-Ra and going berserk. No matter how hard she tried or how much people begged not to be killed, she was unable to spare them. She killed Catra a few times, too. And Bow and Glimmer. Neither Catra nor Adora would say anything about the dreams, and, rarely, they'd move a little closer to each other without any acknowledgement. They wanted comfort, and that was the most they could get from each other without having to show too much vulnerability.

Bow recovered and could move his arm around, and Lonnie's wounds had become scars. She tried to escape from Bright Moon one time but had no means of transportation and was caught by the guards. She knocked one out but the rest of them jumped her. Adora tried to talk to her but Lonnie wouldn't even try. She got on better with Kyle, strangely, who visited her frequently. And Catra didn't want to talk to Lonnie. Whether it was out of guilt for hurting her or some grudge or just plain laziness, Adora had no idea.

Glimmer and the other Princesses got to go on missions, such as sneaking into small Horde camps and sabotaging their equipment or fighting robots and other things Adora didn't really know about. This was because for the first two months she wasn't allowed to travel or fight because of her inuries, so she'd stay in her room and sulk, collecting dust. Catra stayed in there, too, which Adora found bizarre. She expected Catra to try to escape or lash out at her all the time and tell her how much she ruined her life by leaving. But she didn't. Catra looked tired and hollowed out, defeated most of the time. Adora wondered if it was because of Shadow Weaver's death, or the fact that she was imprisoned with an enemy and unable to go back to the Horde. Adora had caused all of that. But she tried not to think about it too much.

Glimmer, Bow and Kyle often tried to hang out with the two girls when they weren't busy but Adora just grew more quiet and drained the more her friends tried, and the quarrels between Catra and Glimmer intensified. It usually ended with Adora half heartedly pulling Catra back while Bow did the same to Glimmer.

"What's wrong with you?" Catra asked in the silence of the night after another day of nothing and a fight with Glimmer, her tail unconsciously flicking around and brushing against Adora every two seconds.

"Nothing," Adora mumbled, eyes shut.

Catra curled up into a ball so she was as small as possible, tail beginning to move more vigorously. She hated not having anything to do. There was no way she could ever go back home, back to the Horde. Especially after escaping. And the rebellion didn't trust her, which was understandable considering what she'd done, but also annoying. Catra felt so alone despite being in a castle with other people. Despite being in the same bed as Adora. It pissed her off because she didn't need affection or friends in her life. It just ended with pain and betrayal. But... What was the point of living when there was no home, no goal and nothing to fight for? Growling, Catra dug her claws into her own skin. It'd seemed like so long since she'd felt the fear of Shadow Weaver quickening her heart, or the burning of the red lightning and the tingly numbness after, or the feeling of being beaten up by She-Ra in a fight. She missed the thrill of it all. But now she just felt like a rusty tool that had been chucked aside to rot. Catra would rather feel pain than nothing at all and gripped her arms more tightly. She felt hands holding hers and moving them away from her arms.

Adora was sitting up and looking at her with a serious expression on her face. Much more alert than Catra had seen her look in a while. "Careful," she warned, slowly pulling one of Catra's arms forward to check if she'd cut herself. Once she was sure Catra was okay she quickly removed her hands and lay back, one arm over her eyes while her other hand tapped her fingers on her stomach. She wasn't tired. Just bored and empty.

Not for long. Things changed when Adora began her training at the First Ones citadel with Light Hope. She left early in the mornings and came back at night, worn out, with scuffs on her clothes and skin, a few strands of her hair floating loosely around her face. Sometimes her eyes were red as if she'd been crying. Sometimes her shoulders would shake and she would press her palms over her eyes as if trying to block her tears. Sometimes she would sit on the edge of the bed with her head hanging low, hands gripping her knees tightly, looking at the door, then the wall, then at her own hands in a loop. And she always had that damn sword nearby. Catra hated seeing it; a reminder of why Adora left her.

"You okay?" Catra asked one night after watching Adora agonise over something that she couldn't see. She reached out to touch Adora's back, but decided against that and withdrew her hand.

"Yeah." The blonde's voice was slightly muffled.

"You should give up."

"What?"

"That sword. All it does is cause pain," muttered Catra. "What's so good about it? Why did you choose it over the Horde?"

_Why did you choose it over me?_

"Catra. Don't."

"It's a curse."

"You think I don't know that?"

They were quiet after that and things continued as normal.

Six weeks after Adora first met Light Hope she still didn't know whether to trust her or not. If she squinted she would be able to see a slight improvement in her transformation. Maybe. Adora was able to speak a bit while being She-Ra, and was able to remember more of the things she did. She didn't see the latter as a positive, though.

Stretching her arms up into the air, she tilted her neck in an attempt to get rid of the crick there, then took in a deep breath to clear her mind. When Adora began her training she was terrified of transforming after her last experience with Shadow Weaver, but had been trying to listen to Light Hope's advice. She needed to find peace within herself and "let go." Whatever that meant. Light Hope was often pretty vague with her wording and explanations, as if she expected Adora to know what was going on in her head. But calming herself down for a few minutes seemed to help in her control of She-Ra, as Adora needed to be stable for She-Ra to be.

_I can do this._

_I won't be a monster._

_I won't kill anyone._

Minutes of silence later, Adora stood up, sword in hand.

"You are ready for the simulation?" questioned Light Hope.

Adora nodded and raised her sword into the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!" A bright light drowned the area and faded almost instantly, leaving behind She-Ra, looking cold but menacing as usual. Light Hope glowed red and the walls of crystal imitated her, reflecting crimson light. She disappeared and She-Ra found herself in a rocky wasteland. Skiffs and tanks circled her and Horde soldiers began pouring out. It was taking all of Adora's willpower to stay awake inside her transformation.

_Just stab the ground and scare them off._

She-Ra held the sword with two hands, arms rising slowly like she was trying to lift a mountain. Adora had to make sure she didn't use all of She-Ra's strength, otherwise she could damage the vehicles and cause an explosion. The sword stabbed itself into the earth and the ground crumbled, causing some soldiers to trip and fall, but the others kept coming. Light Hope decided to make things harder for her by changing the setting. Adora was expecting that to happen and watched the Horde soldiers chase fleeing civilians. This was always the hard part. Adora was beginning to lose her consciousness as she exerted herself.

_No, damn it! I have to do this! I can't fail again!_

She-Ra jumped and picked up a villager, kicking away the Horde soldier pursuing them as softly as possible for her large body. Adora found it strange that it was more exhausting to try to be gentle than it was to use She-Ra's full strength. It was like there was no off switch. She set the villager down and charged at another Horde soldier, grabbing them and flinging them at another. She hoped that they weren't dead. Her heightened senses allowed her to detect a small crunch on gravel behind her, and she grabbed the arm of a Horde soldier holding a taser before chucking them over her shoulder.

 _Shit_!

She-Ra's body was moving too fast for Adora's strained consciousness to keep up with and the soldier smashed into the floor. She-Ra's hearing made the sound one hundred times worse and Adora not only felt nauseous, but exhausted too.

She heard someone scream and it made the inside of her head vibrate as if her brain was going to explode. A Horde soldier zapped a villager with their taser and She-Ra felt the burning flashes along her own skin and the numbness after, and the clouds in the sky revealed the moons, shining into her eyes and blinding her. If Adora had been able to hold onto her control, she would have shut her eyes and covered her ears, but She-Ra didn't care.

"Hey, Adora," someone said. She-Ra and the tiny presence of Adora recognised this person. Catra. She stood atop a tank. On a Horde tank. She was a Horde soldier. She-Ra clenched the sword tightly. "I know you want to kill every Horde soldier here," the simulation Catra purred. "But how far would you go? Would you kill me?" Obviously, She-Ra didn't answer. "Of course you would. You're a monster. You don't care." Suddenly, a child appeared in front of her. Catra held the child in a headlock and pointed a knife at the side of their neck. "Would you do it now? What are you gonna do, oh mighty one?"

Adora felt She-Ra's lower body tense up as if she was going to jump and she tried to break out of the transformation, panicking and desperate like an animal ensnared in a trap, trying to gnaw its own leg off to escape. She-Ra leapt and plunged her sword into Catra's stomach. Warm blood splattered on her from the strength of the stab and a small cry of pain echoed throughout the area. The child in front of Catra had been impaled, too, and tears were streaming down her sickly pale face. She-Ra pulled her sword out of Catra and the child, and they both slumped to the floor. The bodies, blood, people and vehicles disappeared and the setting changed back to normal.

So did Adora. She kneeled, leaning forward with her head hanging low, staring at the ground that she was holding herself up on with her hands. Vision blurry, she watched as her own tears dripped onto the shiny floor. Adora feared that if she stood she'd throw up, but when on the floor, all she could manage were a few weak sobs, her entire body feeling like it was going to break apart.

"Why... why did you show me this?" Adora whimpered to the imposing figure of Light Hope.

"You killed fewer people this week than you did last week," stated the woman, ignoring Adora's question. Adora sat up wiping her face, checking for blood, and looked at Light Hope. Fewer deaths could be viewed as an improvement but it still hurt so much. She wanted no more deaths. "That is not a good sign."

Adora's fists clenched. "What?"

"You must eliminate the threat to Etheria without hesitation. Failing to do so will lead to many more deaths."

"So? Do I have to become a mass murderer to save others? You want me to be some... crazy monster?"

Light Hope shook her head. "No. You must let go."

" _How_?" Adora snapped, her blood boiling with rage. She couldn't remember the last time she felt that way. "You keep saying this! Let go of _what_?!" She wanted to punch Light Hope but she couldn't because she was exhausted and her hand would go through the holographic woman anyway.

"Your fear. Sadness. Anger. Guilt. Your connections to others."

"So you want me to be an _emotionless_ killer?" Adora said, glaring at Light Hope and breathing heavily. "Do you really think that's any better?" she spat. Shaking, She stood up, the wound in her leg stinging and throbbing despite it being mostly healed.

"Yes. These emotions make you weak. If you want to save Etheria, you must destroy the—"

"No. I know they're evil and they're putting the planet in danger, but I don't want to kill Horde soldiers whenever I see one. I just want them to stop what they're doing and leave Etheria alone," Adora said.

"And what if they do not stop?" asked Light Hope.

"Then I'll do whatever it takes. Even if it leads to death. At least it'll be my decision." Shaking her head, Adora grabbed her sword and stormed out of the citadel.

Light Hope was quiet for a few moments. "There is only so much a person can do. It is happening again," she said, a touch of concern in her usually monotonous voice.

Wiping more tears away, Adora trudged over damp grass and soft mud, shivering from the cold wind touching her exposed skin. It must have rained while she was inside. Her leg was hurting but she didn't want to call Swift Wind; she wanted to be alone. Slowly, she continued on her way back to Bright Moon, making sure to step over any sneaky roots or weird looking slippery moss. It took her longer than usual because of her fatigue and injury, but finally, she arrived at the castle and entered. The guards let her pass without commenting on her appearance. Good. She knew she looked like trash already and she didn't need to be reminded.

"You're back early," Catra, lying on the floor and reading a book, commented when she entered her room.

"Yeah. Sucks for you," Adora grumbled, chucking the sword into a corner. Catra's ears twitched at the clanging sound and she sat up, watching the blonde walk with a badly disguised limp to sit at the edge of her bed. Catra shuffled a bit closer to her, wondering what happened.

"You actually gonna tell me what happened? Why do you cry so much?" she asked.

Adora quickly wiped her face. "I'm not cr—"

Catra hopped up to sit near her and almost jumped on her, but refrained. "Bullshit. You suck at hiding your feelings." Her eyes narrowed.

Adora inhaled deeply and exhaled. "I killed you."

"The fuck?"

"As She-Ra. In a simulation," Adora quickly corrected. "And a child. It wasn't real, but..."

"Let me guess. You wish it was?" Catra prompted, tilting her head. "Is that why you're sad? You're disappointed that I'm alive?"

"No. Why would I want you dead? Stop saying shit like that." Catra suddenly found herself being pulled close and squeezed tightly. Under normal circumstances she would've been uncomfortable with a hug so tight, or just a normal hug, but she wanted to feel something for once. The side of Adora's head was touching Catra's, skin oddly cool, and her arms were wrapped around her waist. Catra breathed in the comforting scent of mist and grass, but most of all, the scent that was just Adora. She could feel  Adora's body against hers and then came to her senses, moving back quickly. "Maybe you don't believe me, but if you died... I—"

"Shut up," Catra said, her tail lashing like a whip. "I'm not going to die, idiot. And you wouldn't be able to kill me. I'd kick your ass." Adora didn't know if the girl was joking or not, but it brought a very small smile to her face. "Can we get something to eat? I'm not allowed to go anywhere by myself. I'm fucking starving."

"Yeah. Of course."

*

"You are back," Light Hope said when Adora entered the citadel the next day with determination.

"Yeah. I have to train, don't I? Even if I don't agree with you," Adora mumbled the last part under her breath. She shook her head and stretched her arms up into the air, just like always, one closed eye opening. "Why do you think emotions make me weak?" she suddenly asked.

Light Hope's form flickered as if she was surprised by the question. "Your predecessor, Mara, was unable to let go."

"Mara?" Adora asked, reminded of Madame Razz. She remembered Light Hope talking a bit about her the first time they met, but Adora had been too upset to take it all in — She-Ra massacred a group of simulation Horde soldiers just minutes prior. Thank the Gods she'd moved past that.

"Yes. She struggled with a power she could not control until it became too much for her mind."

"She snapped?"

"If you mean she was compromised, then yes. She gave in to fear and faulty reasoning, leading the planet to devastation, and stranded us in the empty dimension of Despandos. She broke the She-Ra line. I have been waiting one thousand years for you since."

"A thousand years?"

"Yes. And I fear you will follow Mara's path."

Adora didn't know how to respond to that sentence and stayed silent. She itched the back of her neck and twisted her body side to side, then raised the sword, ready to say her catchphrase. But her arm flopped uselessly to her side and the tip of the sword scratched the floor. It dropped from her trembling hand and Light Hope reached out her own, resting it on Adora's shoulder, to no effect.

"What is wrong?"

 _What isn't wrong?_ Of course, Adora didn't say that out loud and shrugged instead, staring at the floor. "I... I'm tired. Just give me a minute." She limped to the other side of the large room, dragging her sword behind, and leaned her back against a wall. Her shaking legs lost their strength and she slid to the floor.

A few moments later everything glowed red and Light Hope fizzled away, exposing a stunned looking Catra. Adora, at first, thought she was in a simulation again when she raised her head, but a more robotic sounding Light Hope blared, "Unauthorised presence detected." The room started to crumble and doors began to slam shut.

Simulation or not, Adora couldn't watch Catra be put in danger.

"This way!" she said, rushing past Catra. She pulled her by the wrist into one of the diamond shaped doorways before it could shut down and block the exit. While they ran, red eyes glowed in the dark twists and turns, and a metallic chirp rattled the air.

"Not again," Catra mumbled.

"What do you—" Out from the shadows emerged giant spider bots and the pair felt even more compelled to run as fast as possible. Adora didn't think they would be able to outrun the spiders for long. She needed to find a way to kill them, or at least stop them from pursuing. The spiders aggressively snapped at her heels but she didn't look back and raised her sword into the air. "For the honour of Grayskull!"

She-Ra stood her ground, and using all her strength, she swung the sword and slashed into the ceiling, dropping a pile of rocks on the spiders and blocking them off. Adora quickly returned and sighed, wiping her face on her sleeve. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I wanted to see what was going on," answered Catra, crossing her arms.

"Are you crazy? Queen Angella said—"

"Don't care. Something in here is hurting you." They stared at each other for a few seconds and Catra growled, turning away. "Don't give me that look. I'm just curious. It's not because I like you!"

"I mean, I didn't say anything," mumbled Adora, rolling her eyes. "Let's just find a way out."

"Yeah. Whatever."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully in the next chapter Adora will stop being in the sad boi hours.  
> I'm not sure if I should update more quickly with shorter chapters or less quickly but with longer chapters.  
> Anyway, I should probably work on that other she-ra fanfic now, it's been ages.  
> Thanks for reading!


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